Recently, I saw a very interesting story on the Internet.
A man was immersed in playing with his mobile phone when he was suddenly slapped in the head from behind.
He was about to curse back when he turned around and saw that it was his son who had not yet entered kindergarten.
immediately lost most of his anger. He thought that his son was still young and didn't know the importance of it, so he definitely didn't mean it.
Thinking of this, his attitude also changed.
When something happens, whether you are angry or not depends on your view of it.
This is what is often called the empty boat effect in psychology:
A ship hits you head-on. When you find that it is empty, you wave your hand and go around it.
On the contrary, if not, you will most likely be very angry: "What's the matter with you? Why did you hit me?"
In this way, both parties will fall into a tense situation.
Why do we have completely different reactions to the same thing?
The ABC theory of psychology explains this phenomenon very well:
What determines the development of things is not the matter itself, but people's mentality.
The weak complain, the strong change, and the wise ignore. In this life, people are paying for their mentality.
The famous "Law of Magnetic Field" proposes:
The more pessimistic you are about life, you will think that everything you encounter is a bad thing, and in the end you will only become more and more unlucky.
The more optimistic you are in life, the more likely you are to focus on the root cause of the problem and ultimately avert the danger even if you are in a dangerous situation.
All the good luck in the world is not sought, but attracted with a positive and optimistic heart.
There is a scene in the recently popular "Wind Blowing Pinellia" that impressed me deeply.
Banxia followed Wu Jianshe and other big bosses and went north to Russia to buy scrap steel.
A group of people traveled all the way to Russia, but they met a scammer and their dreams of getting rich were ruined.
The other bosses were fine, they only lost their deposits.
was just a small business owner who suffered a lot. For this reason, not only the house and car were mortgaged, but also huge foreign debts were incurred.
But Xu Banxia did not complain. She insisted on staying alone in a foreign country with cold weather and language barriers, determined to find another opportunity.
braved the freezing cold to go to the police station and the steel factory to ask for news again and again, and he became sick from overwork.
Later, the embassy sent a college student Xiao Yan to take care of her. Banxia learned that she knew foreign languages and immediately asked her to translate.
The mountains and rivers are full of doubts and there is no way , and there is another village with dark flowers and bright flowers.
When Ban Xia went to buy gifts for relatives and friends, she accidentally met Nina, a girl from the scammer gang, and was pleasantly surprised to learn that she had a way to buy scrap steel.
In the end, relying on this exclusive channel to win a victory for itself.
I have heard this sentence:
Optimists see opportunities in disasters; pessimists see disasters in opportunities.
Life is a mirror, don’t be negative when things happen, complain less, and luck will knock on your door naturally.
A writer told a story about taking a taxi.
At that time, the market was sluggish, there were very few people taking taxis, and most of the drivers had sad faces and bad attitudes.
But the taxi she took was very clean, the driver was smiling the whole time, and the service was extremely attentive.
She was very curious, and the driver replied, The more optimistic the mentality, the better the luck. Just like before I drove you, I just finished delivering an order.
Coincidentally, as soon as the writer got off the car, his neighbor happened to go out and got into the car.
Someone once asked Daocheng Kazuo: Why do you always have good luck?
He explained: "As long as you maintain a positive and optimistic attitude, no matter how bad the situation is, you can turn it into a smooth sailing."
Indeed, the relationship is born from the heart, and the environment is created by the heart.
Everything that happens to you is because of you.
A survey conducted by Harvard University found that 15% of career success in life is attributed to ability, and 85% of success is attributed to mentality.
The better the mentality, the greater the chance of success.
In recent days, many netizens have been moved by Zhang Lan .
After she was diagnosed with the new coronavirus, she did not choose to rest, but insisted on lying down and live broadcasting despite her illness. In the
live broadcast room, her face looked pale and her voice was hoarse.
But he is still cheerful. While sharing good products with fans, he also teaches his experience after infection, encouraging everyone not to worry and to eat and drink as they should.
(pictures from the Internet, deleted)
She said that the reason why she persisted is to convey the belief to everyone that being masculine is not terrible. As long as the mentality is good, any difficulties and diseases will be defeated.
It is hard to imagine that this woman, nicknamed "Zhan Lan" by netizens, is 68 years old this year.
Zhang Lan also encountered countless storms in his first half of life.
She worked hard in the catering industry for 25 years, but was later forced to give up half her life's hard work in business.
Even so, she did not feel depressed, but chose to make a comeback and start a new business in her 60s.
When the family affairs of her son and daughter-in-law became a commotion, many people were waiting to see her laugh.
However, she faced it head on and found new opportunities in the ridicule and abuse.
In recent years, life has not been easy for everyone.
Many people blame the environment for the failure of their marriage, career failure, job loss, less money, and unsatisfactory life.
But not Zhang Lan. She regards every hardship as wealth and never complains.
As some netizens said, you may not like her, but you have to be impressed by her optimistic attitude and tenacious vitality.
Luo Yonghao, known as the "industry dark lamp", failed several times to start a business and took on a debt of 600 million.
600 million, someone else would have been unable to handle it.
But he was neither decadent nor gave up. Instead, he put down his face, promoted goods through live broadcasts, appeared in variety shows... As long as it was not illegal or disciplinary, he would do it.
also stated in public that as long as he can pay off his debts, if anyone needs to host weddings and funerals, he will do it.
(picture from Weibo, infringement and deletion)
In the end, this game was originally a losing game, but Luo Yonghao made a comeback.
"Broken Wind" said: "Those with ambitions do not never fail, but never compromise."
The squeeze of fate is everywhere, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome, only oneself that cannot be overcome.
Giving up on yourself and blaming others will only waste time and energy.
Those who can adjust their mentality at any time are the real winners in life.
Dong Yuhui, who is now well known to the entire Internet, actually did not buy it when he first started live broadcasting.
There are only a few people in the live broadcast room every day, and netizens will attack his appearance and pronunciation.
But Dong Yuhui is accustomed to treating criticism and ridicule as a test of his character.
Some people said that his eyes were small, so he said that there are cracks in everything, and that is where the light comes in.
Some people said that his face shape is really square. He admitted it directly and frankly, joking that it was the terracotta warriors and horses face shape of an aristocrat.
also took advantage of this trend to sell goods, saying that it is a pot with the same face shape.
(pictures from the Internet, deleted without copyright infringement)
In the end, Dong Yuhui lived up to expectations and became popular all over the Internet. Not only did it drive New Oriental's live broadcast business out of the industry, it also caused the company's stock to skyrocket.
The pain and joy of life are not because of what happens to you, but because of the mentality you use to face it.
Learn to change your mentality, and life will become smoother.
So how to change your mentality, let me give you three tips.
1 Don’t cry for spilled milk, don’t dwell on the pain of the past
Nine times out of ten, life will be unsatisfactory, and no one’s life will be smooth sailing.
Balzac said, "If you cannot forget many, life cannot continue."
We can neither prevent bad things nor change the existence of bad people.
Forget what should be forgotten, let go of what should be put, holding on tightly will only hurt yourself.
2 Break out of the victim mentality and embrace a positive attitude
As the old saying goes, "a blessing in disguise is a blessing in disguise."
When your boss criticizes you, he does not mean to target you. From another perspective, this is a great learning opportunity that will help improve your competitiveness in the workplace.
When your lover quarrels with you, he does not mean to find trouble with you. From another perspective, this is a good communication opportunity. After the quarrel is over, it will also help the relationship between the couple to heat up.
Complain less when things happen, get out of the victim mentality and think from someone else’s perspective, and your life path will become wider and wider.
3 Accept what cannot be changed, change what can be changed
Festinger's law proposes: 10% of things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are within our control.
Just like the unexpected events in the sky, there is no way to predict the situation in life.
But at least, we can change what we can change.
Change your mentality, sell umbrellas on rainy days and shoes on sunny days.
No matter what happens, believe that you always have a choice.
agrees with a saying: The adult world is like a mirror, what you see is your own heart.
Many times, what traps us is never the difficulties and hardships in front of us, but our mentality.
People with negative and pessimistic hearts can easily lose their way and get stuck in place;
On the contrary, a person with the support of a positive attitude, even if the eyes are dark, there will be a glimmer of light that will illuminate the future.
