01
Don't lose your economic foundation
Nietzsche said: "Every day that never dances is a life failure."
Liu Mintao , graduated from Central Drama , is an outstanding and powerful actor. In 2007, she was in the rising period of her career and chose to get married for love, retire at home, take care of her husband and daughter, and become a full-time housewife.
However, the number of people who get together after marriage makes them lack spiritual communication while lacking emotional communication. Coupled with the uncertainty of their husbands, Liu Mintao became confused and began to doubt the significance of the marriage.
Although she had the idea of escaping from this relationship in many moments, she still couldn't make up her mind when facing major decisions in life.
Sensually she tried to find problems in herself. Has she not done enough in some aspects?
At this moment, the ability and changeable temperament in the character are not played out in life.
But a small thing happened completely changed all this.
Once, the two made an appointment to go on a trip. On the stone road in Kiyomizu Temple in Japan, there is a very distinctive matcha ice cream shop.
Liu Mintao moved the little girl's mind. If she wanted to eat ice cream, she asked her husband to buy one for her, but she did not expect that she was rejected by the rich husband. She even said disgusted that she still wanted ice cream when she was so adult.
Then he went there, leaving her alone in a daze... At this moment, she was carrying a famous brand bag on her body, but she didn't have a penny in her pocket. Perhaps this dilemma of reaching out to make money to live a life deeply hurt her, and she could no longer comfort herself.
After she returned, she decisively filed for divorce. At this time, her husband mocked her for leaving her and leaving nothing. She resolutely turned around and left, taking only her own things.
and even later, when she and her friends went to Japan again, she went to Keimizu Temple to buy an ice cream. She said that this is her own ice cream, a kind of free taste, a kind of happiness that she can dominate.
Economic ability is always a person's strongest confidence.
02
The choice of "good" is a warm color
A female anchor from Guangdong told the story of her teaching in a mountain village a few years ago.
At that time, they came to the mountainous areas as volunteers who taught, and were not warmly welcomed by drums and drums like the pictures we usually see. After they settled in
, they began to go deep into every household to understand the situation and mobilize mountain people to send their children to school, which is not tuition fees (the country has fully implemented nine-year compulsory education in 2006) but the progress is not going very smoothly.
Because in a difficult family in the mountains, a girl in her seven or eight years old and in her teenage years old has been regarded as the labor force of the family.
They can cook, wash clothes, herd cattle... If they are sent to school, it means that there is one less labor force at home.
, in desperation, the anchor used his own economic resources to establish a temporary subsidy mechanism. He said that as long as the child is sent to study, he will be given a certain subsidy.
For a while, the cash flow of for teaching was cut off and there was no cash distribution. The parents of the sponsored children thought that the funds were embezzled by the distributor, so they rushed to the office and quarreled with her residence, causing the anchor's second tailbone to crack and he would never climb the mountain again. When it rained cloudy, it would cause local pain...
But as a teaching assistant, she was not angry or asked anyone for an explanation. Instead, after a little rest, she washed her face and continued to teach their children...
She said: "You can't be angry with a person with low cognition."This is also the purpose of her choice to come here - to improve the educational level and cognitive level of children in the mountainous areas.
Perhaps it is precisely because of this kind of "sense of mission" that has inspired so many enthusiastic people to overcome all kinds of difficulties and do such a tall thing.
"Goodness" is based on a mind-set, but never expect that efforts will be rewarded, sometimes even if it is simply understood.
All of this is just a choice of basic tones in life.
"Goodness" is like a seed that we face the complex world and sow in the seasons. We hope that it can overlap with the sunshine, nourish ourselves, and trigger the beautiful side of human life.
03
The worst thing in life is not to lose your lover, but to lose yourself
Zhu An was born in the 1870s. He was born in a business family in Shaoxing, Zhejiang Province. Although he was illiterate, he knew etiquette and gentle personality, he knew needlework and was good at cooking.
This was very consistent with the requirements for traditional women at that time. Therefore, she was attracted by the old lady Lu of the Zhou family and married Mr. Lu Xun, who was three years younger than her.
Mr. Lu Xun, influenced and influenced by the new culture, has a filial piety and traditional side in his heart.
In that era when the marriage was still arranged, he did not dare to disobey his mother's orders. He reluctantly entered a marriage of only formality with Zhu An, and accepted the "gift" arranged by his mother, which also contributed to Zhu An's tragic life.
They respect and fulfill their responsibilities to each other, but there is no love.
Zhu An waited and waited one by one with a snail-like spirit, hoping that "big first" would return one day...
However, history has been turned over, and she did not wait. In the 41-year loveless marriage, she lived a betting point in history.
I think if Zhu An could also be enlightened by some advanced ideas and jumped away from the role that was confined to her by that era, she would have another life, right?
Get married to an ordinary man, have children, and experience the ordinary, not just regard your life as a "object" of your husband.
The difference is that another woman born 20 years later, they are also victims of feudal arranged marriages, but she has taken another path from difficulties in the trend of alternating new and old.
This woman is Zhang Youyi . She was also born in a wealthy family and did not bind her feet. At the age of 12, with the help of her brothers, she attended the Jiangsu Provincial Second Women's Normal School at that time and received a certain education.
When he was fifteen years old, he followed the arrangements of the fourth brother, Zhang Jiayu, who was then the secretary of the Zhejiang Governor, and married the talented man who is a good match.
When the talented and knowledgeable poet looked at Zhang Youyi's photos, he still used the sentence "the countryside buns" as the conclusion.
After marriage, he was indifferent but indifferent, but the poet followed the call of his body. After she gave birth to the elder Xu Jiakai for the Xu family, he went abroad to study as if he had completed his mission.
In the old-style marriage, it seemed that only women were imprisoned. Two years later, when Zhang Youyi followed the arrangements of his family to go to France to study as a companion and gave birth to a second child for the Xu family, she still failed to get his pity and look back, and she still disliked him.
Her husband met someone he liked, and Zhang Youyi's arrival was just annoying.
When a divorce letter was presented in front of you, the marriage was hopeless. Zhang Youyi finally woke up, but she signed her name in pain but was extremely clear.
After that, she began her counterattack in life. She is the first person to divorce according to the Civil Law in Chinese history, and this courage has broken history.
She took her son and second brother Zhang Junmai to Germany to study early childhood education, forcing herself to learn German, learn and appreciate opera and art...
In the first half of her life, Zhang Youyi experienced divorce and betrayal of her son, but she was still able to stand up from the storm. The family environment and education she received are undoubtedly an important source that opens her thinking and horizons. After returning to China, she first taught at Soochow University , and then partnered with others to start "Yunchang Clothing" on Jing'ansi Road, Shanghai, leading the fashion trends in China at that time. Later, she served as vice president of Shanghai Women's Commercial Savings Bank and became a celebrity in the business world.
More than a year later, Zhang Youyi told her niece Zhang Bangmei:
"I want to thank Xu Zhimo. I want to thank the divorce. If it weren't for the divorce, I might never be able to find myself."
In 1954, 53-year-old Zhang Youyi married his neighbor Su Jizhi in Hong Kong. She once thought that she would have no fate with love in this life after leaving Xu Zhimo, but Su Jizhi, who was born in traditional Chinese medicine, gave her a stable home, who had been wandering for half her life.
They lived in Hong Kong together for 18 years, which may be the happiest day in Zhang Youyi's life.
After all, it is such a sense of courage and self-reliance that never swims away from adversity, which has made a legendary life of a woman. It is completely different from Zhu An's blind forbearance and imprisonment.
Although the current situation is not exactly the same, the worst thing in life is by no means losing love or marriage, but losing yourself.
The indulgence of the subject is sad.
04
Conclusion
This world is composed of "stories".
After reading the above different stories, we read different life choices, and different choices also lead us to different places.
In "Meditations", the ancient Roman emperor once left a motto: "Don't do things without goals, and don't do things that do not conform to the perfect principle of the art of life."
Life should have a sense of direction so that the wheel of life will not deviate too much. In different stages of life, improve your cognition and make adjustments in time.
Looking into the distance, life is just a journey. You really don’t need to live too dull. Run in your own direction. You can always gain a sense of comfort.
Author: Jian y, a member of the Intensive Reading Friends Association, draws the fragrance of life from simplicity.
