No one loves only one person in his life
—No one will not be excited about others just because he is with you;
—No one will no longer have emotional waves towards others just because he loves someone;
—No one will lose interest in other men and women just because he has become a parent;
—No one will not have any fantasies about the opposite sex because he is older.
We live in the world of both genders, and love is the theme of our life. The key is how to prevent inner yearning and turmoil from becoming a behavior that hurts others and yourself. True love is born from this.
No one loves only one person in his life, and he no longer has any turbulence in his heart.
No one will love each other for a lifetime, and will always be as sweet as before.
No matter who you fall in love with, you will go through storms, no exception.
love is life, with spring, summer, autumn and winter. Don’t think that love is gone because you can’t see the flowers and feel the warmth. It’s just that love has entered winter and needs to reflect, adjust, change, and better welcome the next spring.
always think that if love is the same as before, it should be full of warmth and soft words. Therefore, when you feel complaining, dissatisfied, and angry, you always feel guilty and should not be, so you are entangled.
- is not because of love, there is no complaint;
- is not because of warmth, there is no dissatisfaction;
- is not because of softness, there is no anger in the heart.
It is precisely because you are so close to you that you have sadness, complaints, anger and fear.
Finally, you will find out: after all this, it is still love.
Don't deny yourself because the other party cheats
I want to tell all people who have cheated: cheating means his problems and past. If you are in pain, you must feel helpless and desperate. Behind this is the denial of yourself, and suicide is the complete denial of yourself.
In fact, there are not only one person worthy of your love and love you in this world. No one does anything worth your life.
A man falls down, countless men will appear, and then pick it!
Dear, if you are abandoned and your lover falls in love with others, don’t regard it as a denial of yourself, and don’t regard it as a standard for whether you are worthy of being loved.
This only means that the person who is suitable for you has not appeared yet, so look forward and don’t miss the right person in regret and self-shaming.
The stupidest and most tragic thing is to prove to your ex for several years or even a lifetime that you are better than him and worthy of being loved.
There is no need to prove what you love, and what you don’t love is futile.
Should we forgive the other party
Someone said that he did something that hurt me and could not be cheaper.
Think about it, what are you doing when you can't forgive?
is resentment, anger, and sadness, that is, continue to hurt yourself.
Forgiveness is actually to free yourself from the harm and not allow someone who has hurt himself to not only destroy his past life, but also continue to destroy his current and future life.
Forgiveness does not mean that he has done it right, but that he will no longer live a polluted life!
After encountering a cheating with your lover, I calmed down and asked myself five questions:
- What do I love?
- In addition to affair, what other qualities do you like? Have these qualities changed? Do I still love him?
- What is wrong with our relationship?
- What do I really need?
- Will I have a better life because of today's decision?
If you regard "no affair" as a condition to determine whether an intimate relationship exists, you can also choose to divorce, but any choice has a price. You can continue to go back to your heart and ask yourself:
- Is affair the only criterion for measuring intimate relationships?
--Is it possible to erase everything that has been there?
——Is the other party’s quality and habits also written off?
—Is it enough to break up the family?
——Is the other party’s full responsibility for the occurrence of an affair?
What is the correct way to deal with cheating?
It is not easy to repair the marriage after cheating. The main obstacle is the victim of the cheating incident .
Because the inner fragile part of the victim has not been healed, the injured part will be very strong.
- From the perspective of the victim of cheating, you need to become the person in charge of your own trauma healing. If you put your expectations on the other person, you will be more likely to feel betrayal and hurt.
- From the perspective of the cheating party, you need to let the shameful part retreat a little, and give yourself a space to see which part of the cheating situation occurs.
For example, if the cheating party has a strong sense of valuelessness, then his protector will find him a different partner and make him feel valuable.
We want to find the reason for the cheating.
sometimes is the part that is not healed within oneself, or it may be the part that feels hurt in the conflict between husband and wife;
Sometimes cheating is just a symptom, it is just a way of the cracks in marriage, just like all other problems in marriage.
The difference between cheating and other contradictions is that cheating will make the other party feel betrayed. Both parties need a complete repair, rather than the cheating party’s apology to relieve the past.
Usually, it is difficult for one party to cheat and listen to the other party telling the harm caused to him. The cheating party most hopes that he will apologize and turn it over or explain his behavior is reasonable.
do this because they feel guilty and ashamed, and they themselves cannot face this guilt and ashamed.
When encountering this situation, the "finding reasons and finding reasons" needs to be put aside so that he can fully listen to the impact of cheating on the other party and witness the impact.
Then the cheating party can apologize from the true self, instead of apologizing perfunctorily and embellishing the peace. But just apologizing in the true self is not enough, and these parts that cause them to cheat need to be sorted out.
At the same time, the cheating party must also realize that it needs to win the other party's trust again.
For example, in order to repair the relationship, the cheating party needs to allow the other party to view mobile phones, WeChat, and emails for a period of time, instead of treating this matter as a control, but a way to repair it.
The injured party also needs to let the protector retreat, listen to the other party's apology, soothe and transform the injured part, so that the healing of the injured part does not depend on the partner.
The cheating party needs to make him/her own fragile part, so that he/she can open his heart and believe in the cheating party again, even if he may face another injury, it doesn’t matter, because he has the true self.
The core of all healing is the true self-time online.
In short, the truth of life is often more complicated than what we see. Blindly accuses those who cheat are "scums". Although they can vent our emotions, they cannot truly repair the severely damaged marriage.
If you don't want to give up this relationship, your only choice is to face and grow with your partner.
I have seen many women who have experienced an affair. It was also from that moment that they truly returned to themselves and no longer placed their sense of security on each other. The pain forces them to change and generate inner wisdom and strength.
who am I? What kind of partner and life do I need? If I choose to divorce, how can I create my own life? When they no longer struggled in the quagmire of being cheated, they saw a self with more possibilities.
As Scott Parker said in his book "The Road No One Walks", love is a long-term and gradual process. The love we give can ultimately not only mature others' minds, but also benefit ourselves.
