Many people believe that responsibility is the top priority in relationships.
Many people check whether a man is reliable. First of all, it depends on whether the other person is a responsible person.
Many women are also very responsible and are very strict with themselves when they enter a relationship:
Never look at other men more, be loyal to their partners, do their duty to their families, and work diligently...
Work hard to make money and try to subsidize their families. It can be said that they have fulfilled their responsibilities to their partners, their children, and the company.
Even at home, he assumes most of the responsibility. He helps his partner serve rice when he cooks, picks up food for his partner when he serves, and washes dishes after he eats...
What the partner eats and wears every day, packs up the luggage that his partner needs to bring on business trips, and even provides wake-up service when his partner wakes up at what time...
Such relationships are often not as comfortable and firm as imagined.
Many women are conscientious, but there are still constant conflicts at home. They have done a lot for their partners, but their partners still have many complaints.
Responsible is of course a good thing, which means taking a relationship seriously, resisting more temptations, and firmly working and making efforts and dedication for the future of both of them.
Responsible people often give people a sense of security, making people feel reliable and reassuring. Therefore, regardless of men or women, we all hope that our partner is a responsible person.
However, it is too responsible and even bears the responsibility that does not belong to you for the other party. This has become a "poison" to destroy the relationship in the relationship.
Really good relationship, no one in the relationship should be "too responsible".
1
If you are too responsible, the other party will become a giant baby
If you understand human nature, you will know what kind of reaction a person will have and how the other party treats himself.
Netizen Xiao Min is deeply touched by this. When her ex-boyfriend was with her, she didn't help the soy sauce bottle when she fell down, and never worried about housework. She did everything herself.
Two people go on a trip, from making a trip, booking air tickets, to all the food, clothing and expenses for two people, Xiao Min is worried about it alone. It is enough for her ex-boyfriend to bring her someone and bring her money.
The key is that this guy is not satisfied with this, and he is picky. He sometimes thinks that the hotel is not well booked, and sometimes thinks that the attractions he goes to are not fun, which makes Xiaomin so angry that he vomits blood.
Later, Xiao Min couldn't bear it anymore and finally chose to separate from him.
After a while, Xiao Min learned from her mutual friend that her ex-boyfriend had found another girlfriend, and she simply spoiled her current girlfriend into a princess.
Don’t worry about your girlfriend in everything, and do everything for your girlfriend. The treatment of Xiao Min to him was copied to his current girlfriend, which made Xiao Min unable to believe it.
The same man, or the man he doesn't want, why did he change his sex after changing his girlfriend?
The reason is that Xiao Min is too responsible and too much.
Not only did she take care of what she should be responsible for, but she also took on the responsibilities that originally belonged to her ex-boyfriend.
Since we are traveling together, where to go and what kind of room to live in, shouldn’t our ex-boyfriend also give suggestions or do our best?
She has fulfilled the responsibility of others and others have nothing to do, so she is naturally happy to be a hand-off boss.
And people are lazy. If someone rushes to do all the difficult work and rushes to take all the responsibilities they should bear, they will naturally become more and more lazy to take responsibility.
Take travel as an example. Since Xiao Min makes the decisions of booking rooms and finding attractions alone, if something goes wrong and the matter is not done well, the ex-boyfriend can certainly accuse Xiao Min of confidence.
Do nothing, you have to take any responsibility, and you can point fingers at others. It's so good that no one wants to change it easily.
And when he finds someone who is less responsible than himself and does not like to worry about it, he can only become the role that is responsible for everything himself.
2
Women who are too responsible are always consuming themselves
Under what circumstances do we mention "responsibility"?
Do you need to eat a delicious meal for the sake of responsibility?
. Do you need to buy a beautiful piece of clothing for yourself for the sake of responsibility?
won’t. When we do things we like and are willing, we never do it for the sake of responsibility.
Only those things that you don’t want to do, are reluctant, and have to do, need to be done for the sake of responsibility.
Live in the world, and everyone must do more or less do things that they have to force themselves and have to do.
But if there are too many of these things, so many that they have exceeded the limit of their ability that they can bear, they will become a squeeze on themselves.
For example, you are already very tired after work. You have worked for a day and commuted for another fifty minutes.
At this time, you have to take on the responsibility of letting your family have a good meal and insist on making dinner.
This responsibility may be affordable, but you still have to continue to do hygiene and tutor your children's homework... These responsibilities are too many.
Everything that you don’t want to do and have to do is consumed on yourself. The more energy you consume, the more tired and tired you will become.
When people are not energetic and physically strong, they are most likely to get emotional. Even if they don’t complain in words, you must not avoid emitting negative energy.
A woman with negative energy all over her body can not make people approach with joy no matter how much they do and take on responsibilities.
And even if there are still some happiness and small happiness in life, because it consumes too much energy, people often ignore these joys that are within reach and cannot truly enjoy life.
3
Women who are always responsible for others often cannot be responsible for themselves
Some people may wonder why a woman who can be responsible cannot be responsible for herself? The principle of
is actually very simple.
If a woman is responsible for her husband, for her children, and for her work, how much time and energy can she really leave for herself?
She may have taken good care of her husband and children, and taken good care of her customers and bosses, but she has not taken good care of herself.
A woman was troubled by this. For a long time, she has taken care of many housework for her family, taken good care of her parents-in-law, and worked diligently, but her husband disappointed her and her children made her upset.
But if you explore and analyze her life, you will find that she has spent too much energy to be responsible for other people's emotions.
only to make others happy, but I didn’t take good care of myself and didn’t take responsibility for my emotions.
Therefore, she inevitably has high expectations for others, hoping that others will be responsible for her feelings and make her happy.
Every time the child is not doing his homework well, when his husband refuses to help reduce the burden on the family, she yells angrily in her heart:
"Why are you so happy, but I can't do it? Why are you always satisfying you, but you won't satisfy me?"
In fact, everyone should be responsible for their joys, sorrows and sorrows.
If your husband feels unhappy when he is not full, he can let him get something to eat by himself. If the child feels unhappy without a certain toy, he can also let him play with something else.
She took too many responsibilities to make others happy, and unconsciously pushed the responsibility of making herself happy to others.
Must have the child study hard and do his homework well. Her husband is motivated and hardworking, caring and romantic...
Once others can't do it, she feels very hurt and wronged, but she can clearly take responsibility for her happiness.
I am tired today and don’t want to cook. I can order takeout or go out to eat. I don’t want to tutor my children’s homework tomorrow, so I can also leave it to my husband or the child can solve it himself.
And for your own happiness, you can drink a cup of milk tea that you haven’t drunk for a long time, browse everywhere, and watch a movie you like... Being responsible for yourself is a sure profit and loss business.
And when you are happy and live out vitality and fun, the people around you will also be infected and take on your own responsibilities.
Responsibility is a double-edged sword. Proper responsibility is conducive to relationships, while excessive responsibility is pushing the other party away.
I hope more and more women can let go of their responsibilities that do not belong to them, let go of those shackles that bind themselves, enjoy relationships, nourish themselves, and live out their own freedom and excitement.
Author | Shushui Therapist, has the qualification certificate of psychological counselor of the Chinese Academy of Sciences and the IHNMA International Hypnosis Teacher Certificate, committed to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature.
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