"Social phobia" has often been talked about by some people in recent years. They regard themselves as "social phobia", are not good at interacting with people, and feel embarrassed and panic in social occasions with a lot of people...
Interestingly, psychological research has found that in fact, the voice of most "social phobia" is: they dare not disturb anyone, but they also desire to be disturbed.
This issue "The Last Metro" 's protagonist, whose nickname is "Wang Wan", is also considered a "social terror" in life. He likes to eat, go shopping, and take photos alone. "I like to be alone very much. I have fantasized about the days of living alone since junior high school."
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After graduating from university, I came to Hangzhou alone from Hunan to Hangzhou was not an impulse, but a "long-planned" plan.
All along, my mother's love for Xiao Wang always made her feel too heavy. Although she knew that discipline and care were for her own good, sometimes my mother's discomfort would still make me fall into pain and deep self-doubt.
The repeated confessions I had received bad responses when I was a child. Xiao Wang gradually became closed, refusing to communicate with his parents and with his classmates and friends around him. In the intimate relationship between her family, she felt that she would never be affirmed.
This time she came to Hangzhou, she described herself as she could finally escape the heavy feelings at home, and to live her own little life by coming out alone.
In her small room, she has her favorite hello Kitty tableware, Lolita clothes and various idleness collected from the second-hand market. She will also paint her favorite makeup late at night and take photos and share it on her online social account. "Taking photos is an vent of emotions" , during her time alone, she learned how to talk to herself.
Xiao Wang enjoys being alone, and there are times when he needs to talk. When she first came to Hangzhou, she had no residence or job, and she was dragging her luggage and looking for a house to find a job. The deep sense of powerlessness made her exhausted. "I cried every day a few days ago when I first arrived."
surfing the Internet to chat with strangers is her way to relieve stress. Xiao Wang feels that strangers will be more curious to listen. When facing netizens, she can also let go of many concerns and burdens and speak freely. In her communication with them, she gained a lot of respect and understanding. These strangers helped her untie her heart.
Just when she felt that she could be alone for the rest of her life, love and friendship came to the door. This time she did not refuse or reject, but tried to open her heart and accept a whole new relationship.
Now she will go out with her boyfriend and go shopping with her good friends in her spare time to experience and feel the changes brought to herself by a brand new relationship.
"I want to love others so much" , it turns out that this lonely girl also longs for love and being loved, longs for having feelings and bonds, and longs for spiritual affirmation.
The reason why people yearn for love and be loved is probably because love can resist loneliness. Loneliness is often a lifelong existence, so some people say that loving yourself is the beginning of lifelong romance.
I think we need to accept our lonely selves and also to have the ability to love and be loved.
-END-
Director/Liu Shixuan
Written by Typesetting/Lu Yang
Some pictures in the article are provided by the protagonist
Source: Ergang
