Speaking of families with many children, many people envy their brotherhood and sisters. They always feel that it is a great thing to have the help of brothers and sisters in this world.
However, not all families with multiple children can be so harmonious. I have seen too many families where brothers and sisters hate each other and plot against each other.
From being intimate when I was a child to being the most familiar stranger. Behind the rift of my hands and feet, most of them were the causes planted by my parents when they were young.
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"I was confused when I was young, and my children became enemies..."
Sanniang is a single mother who raises her children alone. Although life is hard, she is very energetic and always feels that she is no worse than others. The children raised will definitely make a name for themselves in the future.
For this reason, she is particularly concerned about her children's education, and even to the point of being pathological. In order to motivate the two children to make progress, Sanniang will always compare the two children with each other.
Whoever has better grades will be more biased towards whom and deliberately ignore another child. To this end, the two children regard each other as "competitors" since childhood. Others' brothers and sisters fall in love with each other, but they "fight" with each other.
Until the children became adults, the brother and sister were still incompatible and rarely communicated at home. Even when the eldest son got married, the younger daughter did not attend.
Sanniang felt guilty when she saw her children’s appearance now, thinking that they were all confused when they were young and treated their two children as “opponents”, which led to them becoming enemies. Unfortunately, the relationship between the two children has broken down, and it is already very difficult to save it.
Many parents have more children, perhaps their original intention is to let their children have more bonds and warmth in the world in the future. Brothers and sisters are originally the most trustworthy and dependent families in the world besides our parents.
However, some brothers and sisters slowly get separated during the process of growth, and even become old and dying. Moreover, the relationship between children is not harmonious, which often leads to a significant reduction in the quality of happiness in parents' later years.
For this reason, I hope that all parents will be more concerned about their children's education methods, and do not be as confused as Sanniang, when she was young, it was too late to be fashionable when she woke up in her later years.
Parents are confused about the two things, which can easily lead to their children hating each other
1. Parents are biased and fail to achieve "one bowl of water"
In families with more than one child, this situation is actually quite easy to occur. Although parents always say "the palms and backs are all flesh", in fact, they are somewhat biased when raising children.
Era editor-in-chief has also suggested that 95% of parents in this world are biased, and the remaining 5% are just unwilling to admit it.
. Your bias, in addition to hurting the future of children, will also aggravate the conflicts between children.
Studies have found that when people are young, the most things they do every day is to seek the recognition and care of their parents. This is the fundamental reason why they find a sense of self-worth and discover the meaning of self-existence.
If parents clearly show their love for a child, the rest of the children will easily become envious and jealous of him. If they fail to guide them in time in the later stage, jealousy will sprout in the deep roots of the heart and grow "evil flowers", hidden dangers will often occur.
The rigid relationship between brothers and feet and the mutual hatred of each other is one of the manifestations.
It is necessary to note: the more children get married and start a family and start re-establishing their families, the more likely they will attack their children in childhood, which will lead to unforgettable long-term and their feelings for their parents will undergo subtle changes.
They will appear more petty and more realistic and indifferent when it comes to issues such as pension and inheritance distribution of their parents.
2. Parents like to compare with each other to encourage "competition competition"
Some psychologists believe that "competition competition" is prone to occur in families with multiple children.
The specific manifestation is: With the increase of family members, various phenomena such as fighting, refusal to share, aggressive fighting, and competing for favor between children often occur.
If parents fail to guide them in time, children may also experience a series of psychological problems, such as emotional anxiety, depression, and even extreme actions against their hands and feet.
I had seen a second child family before. Since the younger brother was born, my sister felt that my brother had snatched all the love from her parents and did not praise her brother once. She would hold a grudge against her brother a little. Sometimes, while her parents were not paying attention, she deliberately exposed her brother to danger. Fortunately, my grandmother discovered it in time, so she did not make a big mistake.
Behavior like this belongs to "competition competition". Experts believe that the emergence of actually exists naturally, but each family shows different degrees of performance.
Because children generally lack a sense of security, they need to win the attention and love of their parents in their childhood. If parents give their children enough equal love, the presence of "competition competition" is very low, and the relationship between brothers and feet will be more harmonious.
On the contrary, if parents have behaviors such as preference and comparison, it will often encourage "competition" and aggravate the conflicts between children, and even make them "hate" mentality, making it difficult to get along harmoniously in the future.
To sum up, parents need to understand that many times the relationship between children is not harmonious, which is often the cause and the bad fate you planted when you were young.
If you let it develop, it will not only hurt the children, but also make it difficult for you to be purified in your old age.
Suggestions for families with multiple children
1. Learn to guide children to "healthy competition"
The existence of families with multiple children is itself an internal competition, and it has been formed from the birth ranking. This is an inevitable thing.
Therefore, as parents, we have no way to avoid it. We can only guide our children to compete healthyly through daily interactions, so that they can understand how to compete with others from an early age and learn a certain sense of rules.
For example, there is only one toy at home, but both children want to play with it. At this time, parents need to let their children discuss and compete for the "priority right of use".
can be used to decide who plays first through the game, but the rules are set by themselves, and parents try not to intervene, which is fairer than "the bigger ones should give way to the smaller ones", and children are more likely to accept it in their hearts.
2. Listen more to the real inner needs of children. Differentiated education
In families with more than one child, avoid "undifferentiated education". The real needs of each child may be different, so parents cannot make each of them satisfied.
Even if many things seem to be fair in our opinion, if they are not what they want in their hearts, they will be counterproductive. Therefore, you might as well listen to the real inner needs of children and carry out differentiated education.
