In the old society where patriarchal power is respected, the only way for women is to rely on men. They have no dignity, no personality, and no right to choose to live.
Especially women living at the bottom, even if they marry a man who eats, drinks, gambling, and smokes, and live in the silt pool of silt, they cannot divorce and find another way out. They even have to worry about whether they will be sold by their bet-hearted husbands.
Just like Song Ma in " Old Things in the South of the City ", she married a lazy and idle gambler. Not only did she have to make money for him to spend, but she also had to endure his punches and kicks frequently.
But it's this family violence , selling her daughter, only betting on her heart, causing her son to be drowned, Song's mother makes money to feed him food, drink and bet, and her children are gone, and she still has to go home with him to continue having children.
When I first saw this, I really couldn't understand. Song Ma was not the kind of person who was rigid and stubborn and waited for death. Compared with the women of the lower class of the same era, Song Ma had her stubbornness and courage in her bones. She was not the kind of person who succumbed to the status quo and succumbed to fate.
It was not until I read this book again and again that I realized that Song Ma, who volunteered to go home with her gambler's husband, actually played a big game of chess.
01 Song Ma’s courage
Song Ma once told Yingzi that she came to her house to be a nurse because of helplessness:
Our country people are suffering! Xiao Shuanzi's father is useless and beats me at every turn. I will come out to be a nurse and make money by myself.
Song's mother has a son and a daughter. When she had just given birth to a daughter, she could not bear her husband's long-term beating and domestic violence, and she was cruel to make money by herself.
Song's mother's husband Huang Banerya is not only idle, but also addicted to gambling and beat Song's mother at every turn. In order to get rid of this dark life, Song's mother cruelly abandoned her newly born daughter and became Yingzi's younger brother's nurse. She signed a contract with the Lin family for a salary of four yuan a month: stayed in Yingzi's house for a year and four months before she could go home.
In such a dark era when women have no human rights and status, Song Ma was in adversity, but she could try her best to save herself decisively. Unlike the mother of Xiao Fuzi in "Camel Xiangzi", she faced her husband's exploitation and scolding, but she was only to suffer, and eventually became the soul under her husband's fist and was beaten to death.
Compared with the women of the lower class of the same era, Song Ma has more tenacious courage and decisive action. Faced with the dark life, she neither surrendered nor accepted her fate. Instead, she chose to leave everything behind, stay away from bad people and things, and find a bright way for herself.
Rousseau There is a famous saying: people are born free, but they are all in shackles.
Although Song Ma was born in the old feudal era, she did not stand firm. From beginning to end, Song Ma lived independently and sober, not dependent on others, nor succumbed to fate.
She only believes in herself and only relies on herself. Even if she is her husband who can't get rid of her life, she will not be as resigned to fate as other women with ups and downs, and she does not have to worry about being abandoned or sold.
Because, the reins of fate are always in her own hands.
02 Song Ma's ruthless
For a mother, Song Ma's heart is cruel. She is unwilling to be a woman crushed by fate and is unwilling to be a meat slaughtered on the chopping board. Therefore, she endured her reluctance to give up her daughter and gave all the money she earned from "selling herself" to Huang Banerya, hoping that he could take good care of her daughter for the sake of money.
Huang Banerya thought his daughter was cumbersome, so she turned around and sold the child, and then took the money Song Ma gave him to continue gambling and enjoying her.
Song Ma left for four years. In the past four years, she treated Yingzi and her children as her own and made up for all her guilt towards Yingzi and her siblings.
Song's mother, who has not returned home for four years, didn't know that her two children were gone long ago, her daughter was sold, and her son fell into the river and drowned two years ago. Huang Banerya asked her to pay for money and shoes and hats made for her children twice year by year, but she never mentioned the child to him.
He was so at ease that he spent the savings he had accumulated. Without the burden of his children, he enjoyed and enjoyed happily without restraint.
Song's mother hasn't been home for four years. She said she couldn't bear to part with Yingzi's younger brother. She was a child with big breasts, but this was not her escape from her husband. She would rather spend money to buy peace for herself. As long as she stayed away from her husband, she could be less beaten and suffer less, and could live like a person.
In the past four years, she missed the children, but she was determined not to go back to see them. She overestimated Huang Banerya and thought that no matter how bad he was, she would not abuse her children.
Yellow board of the yarn reminds me of Xiao Fuzi's father in "Camel Xiangzi", the beast who beats his wife to death, sells his daughter once, and then asks his daughter to be a prostitute to support him. Some men are really not worthy of being human. They are cold-blooded and ruthless in their bones. Wife can be beaten and scolded at will, and children can make money by selling them. As long as they live happily, they don't care about others' lives or death.
Song's mother, who learned the truth, was completely collapsed. It seemed that all the real forces were oppressing her, destroying her, making her accept her fate, and making her bow her head.
yingzi's mother advised her to go back and take a look, but she said with red eyes and fiercely, "The children are gone, why am I going back? If I don't go back, I won't go back again!"
Life is cruel, and endless darkness consumes her strength and courage little by little, but Song Ma was not destroyed, and her spirit and will become more tenacious in such adversity.
Lao She wrote in the book "Camel Xiangzi": In a world without justice, the poor rely on their cruelty to maintain their personal freedom, and that little little freedom.
In a dark society where people cannibalize people, in a marriage without human rights, women must live a way out. Only by being more cruel and determined than them, and accumulating all their strength to climb out of this quagmire can they have the opportunity to change their fate.
03 Song Ma's vision and calculations
Song Ma finally went back with Huang Banerya and went back to give birth.
Yingzi's mother told her:
You can go back with him, and come back here if you give birth to a son next year... You can't get rid of it if you can't get rid of it!
Song Ma thought for a moment and agreed, " is good, I'll go home and settle the score with him!"
Seeing this, many people were thinking that Song Ma was not worth it, especially Yingzi's mother who advised her to go home, she was simply confused and said that Song Ma would go back. The reason why Song Ma left her child behind was that she had not even been back for four years was because she was just to escape from Huang Banerya and escape from a desperate life that was worse than death than to see her head.
Nowadays, there is no thought and no involvement with my husband. Just focus on making money, so what kind of child should I go back to have? After giving birth, I will last a lifetime. Will I make money to support that bad person?
Luo Zhenyu once said: Choice determines destiny, and cognition determines choice. Only when the ladder is placed on the opposite wall can it be meaningful to climb hard.
I never understood it before. Song Ma has always lived soberly, but in the end why did she willingly go back and suffer! After reading the original work, I realized that going home with Huang Banerya to have a baby was Song Ma's vision and her way of living.
Song Ma, in fact, has always been sober and rational. When she went back, it was not because she accepted her fate and compromised, but because she knew how difficult it was for a woman to live. In the past, women accepted the feudal concept of " to follow her father at home, to marry, to follow her husband when she died, and to follow her son when she died.
If a woman wants to survive in the world, she must rely on a man. Although she is far away from Huang Banerya, she will never be free after marriage. One day her husband wants to sell her, take her away, or even beat her to death, she has no ability to resist, and she doesn't even have a place to reason.
She needs to have a child to become her protective umbrella, preferably a son, and then take it back to the Lin family, raise the child, and be her biggest backer. As long as she persists, she can survive until the child becomes an adult, and until the child can become her support, she can completely get rid of her yellow teeth, control her own destiny, and live for herself.
" Shawshank Redemption ", Reed once commented on suicide, said, "
He was just institutionalized by . These walls are very strange. When you first came, you will hate it, and gradually you will get used to it. Over time, you will find that you cannot live without it, and that is institutionalized."
A person is trapped in a dry well, from disappointment to despair, and finally to habit and silent acceptance, the whole society has created you a spiritual disabled person. Even if you are given freedom, you will not run away.
Song Ma is an alternative in this dry well. She has never been assimilated. Even though she has the idea of "taking husband as the sky" that feudal women have in her bones, she has been trying to climb upward. She hopes to be saved and longs to climb out of this dark hole one day.
I once read this sentence: sets limits for self-is the biggest prison in life.
There are several tragedy in "Old Things in the South of the City", all because they trap themselves in a dead situation, just like the crazy man Xiuzhen after love was damaged, like the humble and cautious Yingzi's mother, like the thief who offered her younger brother to go to school.
They are like Lao Bu in "Shawshank Redemption". Even though their bodies are free, their souls are confined in the darkness, denying their possibilities and plasticity, and then giving up finding a way out, giving up efforts and fighting, and imprisoning themselves.
Life is hard, you can only save yourself.
Song's mother went home and suffered physical torture, but she spent her whole life.
