Author丨Tongyan
Some girls are really easy to do things that can’t be loved by others when they are unable to get it.
Last night, a friend came to me to chat with and talk about my love worries. The first sentence was: I lost my love myself.
asked, it turned out that she deleted her boyfriend after breaking up. As a result, a whole day passed, and her boyfriend still did not add her back.
Now she couldn't sit still and started to panic, thinking randomly, and her mood was even more depressed than ever before.
Because she never thought about actually breaking up with her boyfriend, she just wanted to use this way to let her boyfriend see her heart clearly and make him care more about herself.
Since what was going on with her boyfriend? She hadn't figured out yet, and she was completely in a mess.
After listening to all her stories, I was really amused and crying.
Hey, she did not start from the actual situation and blindly applied other people's love experience to her own life, completely backfiring.
Her original intention is to use the cat abandonment effect to win back her love.
The so-called abandoned cat effect is that the discarded cat will act particularly well after being picked up because of worrying that it will be discarded again.
In love, it means that after a person is dumped, if he has the opportunity to get back together, he will try his best to show the other person likes it.
As a result, she did not keep the other party, but instead tricked herself into it - she currently wants to get back with her boyfriend, but she proposed to break up first. At this time, there is no step to go down. Her boyfriend didn't look for her, and she couldn't find a new breakthrough at all.
In an intimate relationship, the more people care about it, the more they tend to think randomly. Only those who are favored will always be fearless, and the insecure person will always live in entanglement and assumptions, because a little bit of turmoil becomes like a frightened bird.
As a girl, I really understand what she thinks. Generally speaking, there are only girls who like to do something wrong when they are in love. Especially, this is most likely to happen when they clearly realize that they are at a disadvantage in this relationship, or if a boy doesn't care so much about them.
Originally, in her consciousness, she hoped to see: After she said that she had broken up, her boyfriend could realize her importance and began to win her back in various ways. Then she forgives him and the two continued to have a beautiful relationship.
But this is just her fantasy.
Why do I don’t recommend girls to use the abandoned cat effect to win back their love? Very easy to understand. After a person is dumped, he can feel the joy of losing and gaining again. A prerequisite must be established: This person loves the other person deeply and is afraid of losing the other person.
In other words, this method is useful only when this love is confident enough.
But here, a paradox appears. As girls, if they know their love for boys, or if boys express their likes and preferences clearly, they often do not do anything to test each other.
Whenever they are testing, it means that they are skeptical of this love. To put it another way, boys’ behavior makes them unable to feel love.
A person's The sixth sense is often the most accurate. If you can't feel it, it only means that the other person does not love that much.
So, since you don’t love that much, the other party will not be afraid of losing you at all. What is the meaning of doing this?
There is nothing else except trapping yourself.
Why is it trapping yourself? Because this process, for you, is a self-emphasis that you love him very much.
This behavior is to keep him and to make him care more about you. When he cannot get what he wants, the obsession in his heart will often become deeper on the original basis.
Therefore, the more you do this, the more you can't let go of the other person. To a certain extent, you are determined to be taken by the other person.
It's ironic to think about it. The other party did nothing, but you were using the strategy and constantly deepening your love for him. In the end, you may no longer be able to tell whether the person you can't let go, or your own efforts, or just being unwilling to give up?
Of course, it is also possible that after all the thinking is superimposed, it jointly contributes to your resentment in this relationship.
I have seen many real examples of situations like this.
Therefore, whenever a girl is unable to love her, or thinks that she doesn't love herself at all, and wants to delete him, I always tell them: "Wait a little longer, this decision must not be impulsive. You must at least calm down for a while, and after confirming countless times, it is better to do this again. You think you can lose this relationship and this person, it is very likely that it is just your self-righteousness. If you say harsh words and break up, but you go back on your word, then your image in the other party will be greatly reduced. You may never be cherished."
Speaking of this, I think of one of my classmates.
She is the same. She clearly loves boys, but because of the boy's perfunctory, she blindly said she broke up.
She originally wanted to dump the other party, but after less than a day of deleting, she lost control of all kinds of emotions here: she felt that she missed him so much, she asked him why she didn't look for me, she began to miss the past, she regretted her impulse behavior, and then she said that she would definitely forget her, and the process of continuous circulation was completely like a crazy person.
And the boys are always very calm, he doesn't care, he will part after he gets it.
It is precisely because of this obsession that she finally talks about memories longer than in love.
is not necessary.
Things like love must follow your own wishes, whether you continue or let go, so that you will have natural results.
I hope you don’t do such things in the future.
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