There is a self-selection effect in psychology. It refers to the choices we make now, which will affect our future direction to a certain extent.
Most of us hope that our life can be without any regrets. Even if it is not particularly outstanding, it should be as we wish.
To achieve this goal, we need to make choices and manage things when faced with life choices.
Only in this way can we move smoothly on the road of life without any regrets. Psychological research shows that if you are a smart woman, please teach yourself: Say no to 4 things.
Refuse to lose yourself in love
In a relationship, what a woman fears most is losing herself because of a man.
In their eyes, love is above everything else, and they can even sacrifice their own interests for love.
The result of this kind of treatment is that men often don't care. In the end, even they themselves don't know when they started to look like this.
Love is an emotional game. The most important thing is to be evenly matched. If you lower yourself to the dust, you will not get the care and respect of men.
Therefore, the best way is to learn to be yourself and love yourself, love yourself first and then love others.
Li Bihua said: "Often the one with the highest status is the one who is quieter. Why waste posture? It should not only be expensive, but also noble."
Only when we make our posture high, can we have the right to speak in relationships. You can enjoy the happiness in love.
Therefore, no matter who we are with, we must refuse to lose ourselves in love.
Refuse to be a pleaser personality
There is a pleaser personality in psychology. It refers to the behavior of an individual who constantly caters to the words and deeds of others in order to make others happy,
even at the expense of oneself.
The pleaser personality mainly has the following characteristics;
because they are particularly concerned about their own evaluation in the eyes of others, they will take other people's evaluations as very important, so they will not refuse;
because they lack a sense of security in their hearts, they especially hope that they can To maintain a harmonious relationship with others, in this case, these people will become without principles and bottom lines, and will blindly please others.
People with a please-pleaser personality usually do not gain respect from others because of their ability to please, but instead are looked down upon by others because of their low profile.
Mr. Lin Yutang said: "The wisdom of life lies in gradually clarifying and filtering out the unimportant impurities, while retaining the most important parts."
Therefore, smart women should not put too much energy into those unimportant things. Go up, don't please others.
If you have to choose one person to please, then this person must be yourself.
Refusing to give up the right to move on because of one failure
The male protagonist in the movie "The Shawshank Redemption " was unjustly imprisoned. For 16 years, he never gave up on escaping.
With just a small hammer in the Bible, he carved out a road to the only way for himself, and this road took him more than ten years.
If he gives up moving forward because of failure, then the male protagonist will definitely spend the rest of his life in prison.
But he didn’t, he chose to continue working hard, he chose to turn against the wind and live towards the sun.
" Cai Gen Tan " said: "When you are in an adverse situation, you are surrounded by needles and stones, and you are working hard without realizing it; when you are in a favorable territory, you are full of weapons and spears, and you are selling bones and bones without knowing it."
We Everyone is his own God. No matter when, the only one who can really pull us up from the abyss is ourselves.
Therefore, a failure is nothing. As long as we learn from it, we will have the opportunity to meet a better version of ourselves.
refused to let himself stand still
He Xingfu in the TV series " Happiness Comes to Ten Thousands of Homes " was originally a young daughter-in-law from the countryside. Because she offended the local gangsters, she had no choice but to abandon her family and career and come to work in the city. .
He Xingfu worked as a handyman in a law firm. Even so, she did not accept her fate. Instead, she learned relevant legal knowledge and determined to be a more educated receptionist.
In addition, she also learned to drive and got her own driver's license. Her happy life is getting better little by little.
If you say what is the biggest investment a woman can make in her life, then the answer must be investing in herself.
Because Buffett once said in an interview with "Forbes": "There is an investment that is more valuable than all other investments, and that is investing in yourself. No one can take away what you have learned, everyone All have this investment potential. "
Only by investing in ourselves can we increase our own value and give ourselves more opportunities to choose from;
Only by investing in ourselves can we not paralyze ourselves like a frog in warm water. By strengthening our nerves, we can gain more happiness in the future and meet a better version of ourselves.
