has always discovered a phenomenon, which is somewhat magical and somewhat "superstitious".
Sometimes we are planning to do something, but if we tell others about it before it starts or just after it has started, then the thing will probably not be realized in the end.
I wonder if many people feel this way?
My father had talked about a big project before. He came back to us happily when he had just started to look forward to it and told us that if the deal was successful, what would be the benefits if it succeeded.
I would say, don’t speak out until something is a definite fact and just work hard silently. Speaking out is prone to failure.
He didn't care and thought I was being ridiculous. The results of
came back within a few days and said that the customer stopped working.
The second time was during the drafting of the contract, and I came back and said it again when I was happy. I still said the same thing to him. He still didn't pay much attention. It didn't work out again.
The third time, the two parties have reached an agreement, the contract has been drawn up, and they are just waiting for the confirmation time to sign.
He told us again when he came back for dinner that day. I still answered him with the same words. This time he swore that it wouldn't happen this time. The verbal agreement had been reached and the contract had been written. It was just waiting to be signed. It didn't matter.
In the end, due to some force majeure factors of the client company, there was still no signature, which meant that the order was still not completed.
From then on, he remembered, Don't speak out before things are finally successful, otherwise it is easy to fail, just work hard silently.
The natural way: the more people say something, the less it will come true.
Confucius said: "When chaos arises, words are regarded as order. If the ruler is not secretive, his ministers will be lost; if the minister is not secretive, he will lose his virginity; if several things are not secretive, it will cause harm. This is why a gentleman is cautious and does not go out."-- Chapter 8 of the Book of Changes (data from the Internet)
Vernacular translation:
Confucius said: The reason why chaos always occurs is that the source of chaos is often caused by words. If you do not speak carefully, you will lose the support of your ministers; if your ministers do not speak carefully, you will lose your life; if you do not speak carefully, you will not succeed in what you are doing. Therefore, if a gentleman is cautious in handling matters and speaking, and does not go out randomly, he will not talk nonsense.
Once something is said, it is difficult to implement.
Don’t tell others before you accomplish something, otherwise you will fail.
Because before the words are spoken, the brain is still holding back its energy to achieve the goal.
Once it is spoken and becomes language, the brain will default to what it has said to its own organization that the goal has been achieved. Therefore, when encountering difficulties, the brain does not want to work on it anymore and thinks about the problem, and it does not want to continue working hard for it.
Peter Gwett, a psychologist at New York University , once conducted an interesting experiment for this purpose.
He asked all test participants to write down a small goal, and then divided them into two groups.
He then asked one group to tell the rest of the room about their goals, while the other group remained silent. After
, everyone has 45 minutes to achieve their goals and is told that they can give up at any time if they encounter difficulties. The result of the
experiment is: everyone who stated the goal failed. People who didn’t mention their goals eventually succeeded.
The experimental results may be beyond your expectation. Why is this?
is because: The group that did not state the goal has been working hard throughout the entire period. They are moving towards the goal step by step, and at the same time they can recognize the reality. also admitted in the interview after the test that it would take some more time to achieve the goal.
The group that spoke out gave up after an average of 33 minutes. In later interviews, he also admitted that he generally had a complex emotion of "the target seems out of reach, I seem to be very close to it, but I can't reach it".
After they state their goals, their brains are immersed in the illusion that the goals have been achieved, resulting in a lack of effective action.At the same time, I also feel that once the goal is stated, it robs people of further enthusiasm. If they don’t want to move forward, failure is inevitable.
Mr. Wen Yiduo once said: Do it after others say it, but I will say it after I do it. What others say may not necessarily be done, and even if I do it, I may not say it.
Therefore, when we decide to do something, we should not announce it everywhere, just work hard for it silently and focusedly.
also has a saying: can’t reach the C position yet, so practice secretly, and then become the that controls the rhythm of the whole game.
Gathering sand into a tower, gathering armpits into fur. After determining the goal, take it step by step. If you work hard and persist for it bit by bit, you will get closer and closer to your goal, and one day you will achieve it.
turned a high-profile appearance into a luminous work alone.
Sometimes, can express oneself without speaking.
