What is a complex thing and a simple thing? is a simple thing that can be solved in a short time, but requires three or five, or even seven or eight operating steps to complete. Because there are many steps, the operation time span is very long, which is called a complex thing. The reason why
is complicated because after too many steps, the probability of error will become higher, because any step error may cause the whole thing to fail. After the time span is long, the outside world's right time, place, people, and other conditions will inevitably change, and will have a long dream and a long dream will occur, and will change if is too late.
So this kind of thing that takes many steps and takes months or even years to complete will be very consuming. If your mentality and mood fluctuate too much during this process, you may exhaust your patience at the beginning of the operation. Therefore, in the face of this protracted war, you must control the long-term stability of your mentality and emotions. There are three specific key points to control:
The first one is to expect that complex things are often a lot of troubles, twists and turns, or even four, five, and N folds to complete . The worst case is that every step and operation has twists and turns. The total number of steps is required to make many twists and turns. The best case is that all steps and operations are smooth, which is equivalent to one step in place. The feature of
is also suitable for work and study, love recovery, chat and social interaction, etc. For example, if we want to flirt with someone we like, it can be divided into four steps. The first step is from strangers to chat and recognize each other, the second step is from chat and recognize each other to attract each other, the third step is from attracting each other to invitation and date, and the fourth step is from invitation and date to determining relationship.
The worst case of is that we first step to get a stranger and ask for a meeting with the other person. If we want to meet, the other person ignores us directly; then we go to find a friend of a friend, get the other person's WeChat, and add the other person, and the other person also disagrees; afterwards, we found that the other person often goes to a certain gym to exercise, so we also went to a membership, wanting to create a chance encounter, and have a common topic by the way, but we just met for 10 days and half a month, but we didn't meet him; finally we found out that the other person was looking for a partner for a certain business, and we happened to have resources in this regard, so we called the other person in the name of work, and the other person was finally willing to get to know us, so the first step of operation was completed.
But obviously, the first step here is full of twists and turns, and the next second step of chat attraction may also fail when it comes to attracting, and the second, third and fourth time is the first time to attract. The third step is the first time to invite the invitation, and the second, third and fourth time is the second, third and fourth time is the first time to succeed.
But if this process is reversed, the other party attracts us and the other party wants to flirt with us, then every step will be smooth, because we are attracted by her in advance and we will cooperate with her very well. But the reality is that when we have not attracted each other, we have to operate this matter, that is, we will encounter resistance and twists and turns.
However, every operation here fails, does not mean that the whole thing will fail. Because in fact, we only need to operate successfully once every step, that’s fine. For example, if you have successfully met the other person, you will know each other; if you have successfully attracted the other person, you will be attracted; if you have successfully invited the other person, you will be able to date; if you have successfully confirmed your relationship, you will be a couple. As for how many times the operation fails in each step, it is too unimportant.
Once Music: Shenteng
Recovery is the same. Avengers are avengers. If the contradiction is fixed, it is fixed. If it is attracted again, it is attracted. Even if you invent the light bulb for Edison , you will be OK as long as you find the right material once; if you start a business and make a fortune once you succeed in starting a business and earn your first pot of gold, you will be much smoother later. As for how many operations fail before success, it is not very important.
And, here is the worst case. If you have experience in picking up and practice picking up skills, you may know the other person directly for the first time you pick up and don’t need so many twists and turns. So when faced with complicated things, we have made many psychological preparations before operating. When the twists and turns really come, our mentality and emotions will not fluctuate too much.
The second key point is that you should not pursue 100% success in anything, but should maintain a mentality of constantly trying and experimenting, especially for complex things. Because we pursue 100% success in everything, the failure rate will be too high. We will gain a lot of negative feedback from , and then our emotions and mentality will be difficult to control. Therefore, we should not pursue 100% success in every operation, but we can keep trying; we should not pursue 100% success in everything, but we can persist in solving all the twists and turns encountered; we should not pursue 100% success in every goal, but we will persist in completing the established steps and operation time.
The reason why many people have lost their mentality is that they want to be 100% successful when they first met up in the first step, but the other party refused, so they decided that the other party didn’t even want to know him, so how could they flirt with him? So I gave up directly. But the actual situation may be that the other party cannot understand all of us through a meeting. However, through the failure of a meeting, we deny ourselves 100% of ourselves, or succeed in the first meeting, and then 100% of ourselves. Then, can we keep overestimating ourselves in this way, and be unbalanced in our mentality?
The key is that there are three steps in the next step, and there are many operations in each step. If you have a desperate and give up mentality due to the failure of one operation, you probably won’t think of completing one in this life. There will be many steps and a long time span. In the end, it is very likely that like a well digging, he dug seven or eight and a half wells, but because none of them persisted, he ended up spending doubled his efforts, and none of them succeeded.
Of course, in continuous failure operations, we cannot always use the same method to repeat and pervert and pervert, but we must constantly try new methods. Just like the example mentioned earlier, in order to get to know each other, although there are many twists and turns, each break has changed into a new way of understanding, and finally I tried it successfully.
The third point is that during the operation, we must maintain God's perspective and global perspective. 's global perspective allows us to calculate how many steps it takes in total, and then estimate how many twists and turns will be in total in the worst case, such as at most 10 times, and we have experienced it 3 times so far. In this way, we will have a strong sense of control over the progress of the whole thing.
At the same time, the global perspective allows us to evaluate the current gains and losses of a city and a pool from the overall gains and losses. In this way, you will likely find that the current success or failure is not as important as imagined. Even the current failure can lure the enemy into depth to complete a larger strategic layout. For example, during the 8-year War of Resistance Against Japan, there were all kinds of defeats, and even almost all of them were defeated in the early stages, and there were often cases where the entire army was wiped out by accident.But if we consider not only military affairs, but also overall politics, economy, culture, technology, and the development status of the world's anti-fascist alliance , we will find that as the protracted war says, the current defeat is only because the progress of the war is still in the first stage of defense. After defending, there will naturally be a stalemate second stage and a third stage of counterattack.
As for the details, if an army is wiped out, another army can be recruited because China's population is sufficiently supported; if a city is lost, it can retreat to the next city and continue to build a defense line, because China's strategic depth is large enough; if a battle fails, as long as it firmly believes that it will not abandon or give up, and control the overall development, it can still earn back from the next battle.
Of course, this example is a bit big. Let’s talk about it realistic. For example, chat can also be divided into one sentence, one time and one stage at a time. As mentioned above, if you have a wrong sentence or chat in one sentence, then the next sentence will be remedied after the next chat. If you have a wrong chat in one stage, then use other attractions other than chat, such as appearance, education, work, connotation, etc. to remediate. We must avoid feeling completely finished just because of saying a wrong sentence. It is basically impossible to achieve a chat purpose without any resilience, with a long time span and many chat steps. For example, if you want to play role-playing with the other party, but the other party doesn't answer the first time, the second time, the third time.
There are also five steps to recover, namely: remove the precautions, reunion, repair conflicts, friendship relationships, and reattract; learning and improvement can also be divided into three steps: learning, thinking and behavior; emotional intelligence, social, workplace, etc., I won’t give many examples. If you face complex things and don’t start from the overall perspective and design solutions, you can learn first. Explanation of the strategy layout class: "Emotional Information Social + Strategic Thinking" October 22
In addition, Looking at complex things from the perspective of God can slowly discover that 90% of complex things will not be smooth sailing . If it is a complex serial murder case, we will find the murderer in just a few seconds, it should actually arouse our alertness. Moreover, although complex things have the disadvantage of many twists and turns, they often mean that the threshold for participation will become higher. Because a lot of twists and turns will help us block a large number of competitors. So, if we have to do complicated things, we might as well take the initiative to embrace the twists and turns, and then enjoy the process of exploring and solving twists and turns, enjoy the joy after solving the problem successfully, and finally form a "sense of superiority" to others. That is, take the initiative to use these joys and superiority to stimulate yourself and complete complex things.
I am Zifeng, a psychological counselor. I have eight years of experience in emotional intelligence and psychological counseling and training. This is all about complex things and how to control my mentality and emotions. For more tips on controlling your mindset and emotions, you can refer to the knowledge summary I wrote.
