There is a saying on the Internet: "There is no word easy for adults. There are many dilemmas choices, many complex and anxious problems, and many helplessness to lose sight of the other."
For example, after a woman gets married, she will face the problem that her career and family cannot take care of both. If someone helps take care of the child, it is very lucky, but not all married women can have parents or parents help take care of the child.
Once no one takes care of their children, they may have to choose the latter in their careers and families, take huge risks, give up their jobs, and become housewives. Once there is a problem with their marriage and they do not have financial strength, their path will be very difficult.
And men also face a dilemma, that is, the problem that both marriage and original family cannot be taken into account. On the one hand, he is a son who has never been repaid for his parents' kindness. He wants to respect his parents, and wants to be happy, so that his parents can enjoy the joy of having fun with their grandchildren, and leave no regrets in his later years. This is the obligation of being a son.
On the other hand, he is a husband and a father. He is responsible for his wife who has entrusted himself to life, has children for himself, and shares the joys and sorrows with him. He is responsible for his children and does his best to maintain the marriage. The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a big killer in marriage.
As there is a saying in " Strange Talk ": "In life, the most difficult problems are often the food and food; the heaviest shackles are often trivial."
At this time, the whole family needs to be one mind, understand each other's difficulties, understand each other, and work together to reduce disputes and more harmony.
"Son, parents are home, safe all the way, don't worry! You have to take good care of yourself at home, don't quarrel with your wife, be polite to your mother-in-law, if you have the chance, please help me and your wife. I have caused trouble for her these days, I hope she will not be bothered by me, the old woman."
Seeing the message from my mother, Hua Lei felt guilty and helpless: "My parents have raised me for 28 years, and my mother-in-law can live in my house, but they can't. Many relatives say I'm unfilial, and I forgot my parents after marrying my wife, saying that I'm like a son-in-law in my house. It took my parents nearly 30 years to spend. , but I have raised a son for others. Do you know how ugly these words are and how heartbreaking it is? As a Phoenix man, I work hard to work hard and run a marriage. Is it easy for me to go from a poor boy to a Phoenix man with an annual salary of 350,000 yuan. It is really not easy for me and my parents;
Hua Lei is 32 years old this year and got married three years ago. The reason why he got married so late is because he is busy working hard and has no time to fall in love, and the other is because his identity as a Phoenix man makes him very unpopular in the marriage market.
"It's not too high to be low! Seeing a girl from a good family, I naturally wanted to chase her and tried hard to chase her. However, when someone found out that I was a Phoenix man, he immediately refused, saying that marriage is not a joke and it's impossible to bet. On the Internet, the Phoenix man's reputation is too bad. Someone introduced me to a girl whose family is similar to mine and whose salary is less than mine, but I feel unwilling to accept it and look down on her."
32 years ago, Hua Lei was born in a village in the mountains. His parents are both authentic farmers. He relies on the weather to make a living. His family has a meager income and lives a very poor life.
Parents save money, try their best to do odd jobs, and try their best to save money to support Hualei's studies. I hope Hualei has a promising future, can get into a good university, completely get rid of the fate of backward poverty, and no longer let children suffer urgently. Hua Lei did not disappoint his parents' expectations. He had excellent grades and was admitted to a good university. He came to the provincial capital. After graduation, he got an offer from a highly competitive company. With his efforts, he is now a successful person with an annual salary of 350,000 yuan and a wife and daughter.
"My wife's family is better than me. She comes from a small third-tier city. She is the only daughter at home. Her parents are both teachers. Her living conditions from childhood to adulthood are much better than mine. My wife told me that when I went to see her parents, her parents were very entangled. On the one hand, they like excellent, hardworking and motivated young people as teachers, and on the other hand, they are also worried about my Phoenix Man identity."
In desperation, in order to get married smoothly, to get a lifelong event early and to have a stable home, Hua Lei made a promise that he would buy a house in the provincial capital. Without his wife's permission, he would not take his parents over to live with him. Hua Lei's wife also promised that those who should be filial to their parents-in-law would still be filial.
02. It turns out that a good match not only refers to the economy, but also the environment and living habits of the original family.
"After getting married, I found that not to mention my parents and my wife, there are many places where I and her conflict with each other. "
For example, Hua Lei was afraid of poverty and has been working hard to save money since childhood and developed the habit of saving. For example, if you use a tube of toothpaste, you must squeeze it to the point where you can't squeeze it out at all before you can change it.
If your wife doesn't buy him a towel, he doesn't remember to change the towel. Even if it's replaced it, he will keep it as a rag: "She has to change the towel at least three times a year, and each towel is dozens of dozens, which is too wasteful. If it were my parents, I would definitely be trembling with pain. "
When I was young, in order to share the pressure with my parents, Hua Lei had learned to do housework and cook. Before getting married, in order to save money to buy a house, Hua Lei would cook by himself and then bring lunch boxes to the company. Unexpectedly, Hua Lei's wife was the only daughter and had never learned to cook. Therefore, at home, either Hua Lei cooked or went to the restaurant. Looking at the triple-digit bill, Hua Lei felt extremely painful.
"She said that my annual salary was 350,000 yuan, and she also had 200,000 yuan. It was enough to spend it. It was time to enjoy life, otherwise it would be boring. I know what she said makes sense, but I can't do it at all after saving. "
In addition, when my wife returned to Hualei's hometown, she always felt uncomfortable. After all, under the training of her parents, her wife has always been a quiet, well-behaved, sensible, and introverted lady. Hualei's family is quite enthusiastic. When she sees Hualei's wife, she asks questions. Some people's questions are too private and sensitive, which makes her wife feel very unhappy.
"She cares about the sense of boundaries and thinks that people should behave properly. My parents told me in private that it is not good to get along with my wife, and it is not good to be too close to her. "
Hu Lei's parents knew that Hua Lei's marriage was not easy, and they did not want to affect Hua Lei's marriage. They were always very polite to their daughter-in-law and would not disturb the couple if they were fine.
03. It's not that I am unfilial, but that they are not suitable to live under the same roof.
"Mom, my daughter is born, and the mother-in-law said she has retired and can serve my wife in confinement and help take care of the baby. What do you think? "
Hua Lei asked this because he knew that after he learned that his daughter-in-law was pregnant, he was very excited. He bought a lot of chickens to raise them, and prepared to supplement nutrition for his daughter-in-law. He often sent some local specialties from his hometown to the city, and was also prepared to serve his daughter-in-law during confinement.
Hua Lei also hoped that his mother would serve his daughter-in-law during confinement. The relationship between the two of them would be better after they were together for a while. However, the wife was still worried about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In order to be able to have a stable confinement, she still hopes that her mother would take care of her. As for raising children, "My mother is a teacher, which is more suitable for cultivating good habits for children. "This sentence left Hua Lei speechless.
After listening to his son's words, Hua Lei's mother was silent for a long time, and then told Hua Lei that since her mother was willing, she would serve her. She sent some chicken, eggs and vegetables to see the granddaughter's assembly!
"My mother stayed at home for a week and got along well with my wife. My wife was very grateful for the things she brought. She bought a lot of things from the Internet in advance for my mother to take back and told my mother that she would take her baby to see her during the Chinese New Year. After giving birth to a second child, my mother would be very happy. "
Now, Hua Lei has figured it out that the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more conducive to the harmony of the relationship. Only when they don't quarrel can they work hard for their careers with peace of mind. Whether it is their parents or father-in-law, he and his wife will be filial. If the family cares too much, it will be even more unfavorable to get along harmoniously.
04. Instead of forcing her to be close to her, she is better than being as beautiful as a mother and daughter, and respecting each other.
Host Meng Fei In the program, he also said: Two points should be maintained when handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law . The first point is that those who are elders should know how to keep a distance; the second point is that those who are younger generations should always be polite.
Many people think that the best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to be as close as mother and daughter. In fact, it is difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be as close as mother and daughter. On the one hand, the relationship between a mother and a daughter is based on the grace of giving birth and raising, and the requirements are very special. Maternal love is selfless, but it has a specific partner, and most mother-in-law cannot treat their daughter-in-law like their daughter.
On the other hand, you hope that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are as close as mother and daughter, and you hope that the mother-in-law treats you like mother. Once the mother-in-law cannot do it, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. The sense of gap generated between this will seriously affect your relationship with your mother-in-law.
Instead of forcing her to be close to her, her relationship with a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is better than being as fragrant as a mother and daughter, and respecting each other. It would be great if you don’t see your eyes and your heart is clean, you would be less nagging and less estrangement from each other.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Hua Lei? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
"In desperation, in order to get married smoothly, to get a lifelong event early and to have a stable home, Hua Lei made a promise that he would buy a house in the provincial capital. Without his wife's permission, he would not take his parents over to live with him. Hua Lei's wife also promised that those who should be filial to their parents-in-law would still be filial.
02. It turns out that a good match not only refers to the economy, but also the environment and living habits of the original family.
"After getting married, I found that not to mention my parents and my wife, there are many places where I and her conflict with each other. "
For example, Hua Lei was afraid of poverty and has been working hard to save money since childhood and developed the habit of saving. For example, if you use a tube of toothpaste, you must squeeze it to the point where you can't squeeze it out at all before you can change it.
If your wife doesn't buy him a towel, he doesn't remember to change the towel. Even if it's replaced it, he will keep it as a rag: "She has to change the towel at least three times a year, and each towel is dozens of dozens, which is too wasteful. If it were my parents, I would definitely be trembling with pain. "
When I was young, in order to share the pressure with my parents, Hua Lei had learned to do housework and cook. Before getting married, in order to save money to buy a house, Hua Lei would cook by himself and then bring lunch boxes to the company. Unexpectedly, Hua Lei's wife was the only daughter and had never learned to cook. Therefore, at home, either Hua Lei cooked or went to the restaurant. Looking at the triple-digit bill, Hua Lei felt extremely painful.
"She said that my annual salary was 350,000 yuan, and she also had 200,000 yuan. It was enough to spend it. It was time to enjoy life, otherwise it would be boring. I know what she said makes sense, but I can't do it at all after saving. "
In addition, when my wife returned to Hualei's hometown, she always felt uncomfortable. After all, under the training of her parents, her wife has always been a quiet, well-behaved, sensible, and introverted lady. Hualei's family is quite enthusiastic. When she sees Hualei's wife, she asks questions. Some people's questions are too private and sensitive, which makes her wife feel very unhappy.
"She cares about the sense of boundaries and thinks that people should behave properly. My parents told me in private that it is not good to get along with my wife, and it is not good to be too close to her. "
Hu Lei's parents knew that Hua Lei's marriage was not easy, and they did not want to affect Hua Lei's marriage. They were always very polite to their daughter-in-law and would not disturb the couple if they were fine.
03. It's not that I am unfilial, but that they are not suitable to live under the same roof.
"Mom, my daughter is born, and the mother-in-law said she has retired and can serve my wife in confinement and help take care of the baby. What do you think? "
Hua Lei asked this because he knew that after he learned that his daughter-in-law was pregnant, he was very excited. He bought a lot of chickens to raise them, and prepared to supplement nutrition for his daughter-in-law. He often sent some local specialties from his hometown to the city, and was also prepared to serve his daughter-in-law during confinement.
Hua Lei also hoped that his mother would serve his daughter-in-law during confinement. The relationship between the two of them would be better after they were together for a while. However, the wife was still worried about the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. In order to be able to have a stable confinement, she still hopes that her mother would take care of her. As for raising children, "My mother is a teacher, which is more suitable for cultivating good habits for children. "This sentence left Hua Lei speechless.
After listening to his son's words, Hua Lei's mother was silent for a long time, and then told Hua Lei that since her mother was willing, she would serve her. She sent some chicken, eggs and vegetables to see the granddaughter's assembly!
"My mother stayed at home for a week and got along well with my wife. My wife was very grateful for the things she brought. She bought a lot of things from the Internet in advance for my mother to take back and told my mother that she would take her baby to see her during the Chinese New Year. After giving birth to a second child, my mother would be very happy. "
Now, Hua Lei has figured it out that the distance between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more conducive to the harmony of the relationship. Only when they don't quarrel can they work hard for their careers with peace of mind. Whether it is their parents or father-in-law, he and his wife will be filial. If the family cares too much, it will be even more unfavorable to get along harmoniously.
04. Instead of forcing her to be close to her, she is better than being as beautiful as a mother and daughter, and respecting each other.
Host Meng Fei In the program, he also said: Two points should be maintained when handling the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law . The first point is that those who are elders should know how to keep a distance; the second point is that those who are younger generations should always be polite.
Many people think that the best relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is to be as close as mother and daughter. In fact, it is difficult for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to be as close as mother and daughter. On the one hand, the relationship between a mother and a daughter is based on the grace of giving birth and raising, and the requirements are very special. Maternal love is selfless, but it has a specific partner, and most mother-in-law cannot treat their daughter-in-law like their daughter.
On the other hand, you hope that the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are as close as mother and daughter, and you hope that the mother-in-law treats you like mother. Once the mother-in-law cannot do it, the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. The sense of gap generated between this will seriously affect your relationship with your mother-in-law.
Instead of forcing her to be close to her, her relationship with a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is better than being as fragrant as a mother and daughter, and respecting each other. It would be great if you don’t see your eyes and your heart is clean, you would be less nagging and less estrangement from each other.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Hua Lei? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
