It is human nature to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages. Everyone hates criticism and accusation. But good medicine is bitter to the mouth and good to the sick, and good advice is hard to the ears but good to the deeds. Conflicts often occur due to criticism in real life. Failure to handle criticism and accusations correctly will cause gaps or even rigidity in interpersonal relationships, increasing subsequent trust and communication costs. A person must learn to face them correctly in daily life and work. and treat criticism.
First of all, we have to think about what is the nature of criticism? Roughly speaking, we can divide external feedback into three types: positive affirmation, negative and criticism. Each kind of feedback in has specific value and meaning. The essence of criticism is actually a kind of feedback of information. We should treat criticism reasonably as a kind of natural information, and we should not have strong psychological reactions when encountering criticism. Resist emotions, and then lose reason, and even lose feedback channels to obtain effective information, allowing oneself to make wrong decisions.
In real life, people's cognition, experience and depth of thinking are different. Writer Shi Tiesheng once said: "The difference between people is greater than the difference between people and pigs." Each of us thinks and judges the world with ourselves as the center. We always think that our own ideas are right, and we will have instinctive resistance to other people’s objections. Different people will have different views on the same thing regardless of their perspective. If they are the same, differences, contradictions and criticisms will arise.
Although everyone has different opinions, everyone has the right to retain their own opinions. There is no right or wrong in nature. People who can overcome this nature and accept criticism from others rationally and humbly are worthy of admiration from others, even if the critics are right. , or you may be afraid that you will appear broad-minded and take advantage of the "power".
When we see through the nature of criticism, we can put aside our resistance and seriously treat and classify criticism in reality. You will find that the criticism itself may contain a lot of valuable information. Through criticism, we can understand the motivations of the critic. and needs.
In reality, criticism can be roughly divided into three categories:
1. Love deeply and hate deeply . Criticism may also be an appendage of others' trust and expectations in us. The French writer Molière once said: "I also love my friends, the more I criticize them." Therefore, the reasonable attitude towards criticism is to treat criticism as a kind of "information" rather than an "evaluation". People who criticize me are not criticizing me, they are just providing me with information, so I have no reason to reject these criticisms.
2. Reasonable and true information feedback based on the situation. For example, when your work is not done well, your supervisor will give you a fair evaluation and criticism. This kind of criticism is an effective tool for discovering your own shortcomings and finding countermeasures. Often, after being criticized, you will have a sudden enlightenment and immediately grasp the direction and focus of the work. . You must be brave enough to take responsibility for your own mistakes, and humbly accept and reflect on this kind of criticism.
3. Another situation in reality is that others use criticism as a tool and means to attack themselves . In the face of this situation, don’t lose your mind and fight with each other. No one wants to kick a dead dog. This fully shows that we have certain advantages and threats to them. Our essence is already at the top, why should we lower our profile? Instead of fighting with each other!
Of course, "receiving" does not mean "accepting". When facing criticism, we must think and judge independently, but don't object emotionally at the beginning. Instinctive resistance and opposing criticism after careful consideration are two different things. The latter often means With a more mature mind and firmer beliefs. One of the characteristics of a mature mind is the ability to think independently and have a complete value evaluation system. It neither rests on its laurels nor blindly follows others.
In short, handling criticism reasonably and appropriately is an art and knowledge. Some people even need a lifetime to master and control it skillfully. In any case, we can learn to listen with a smile, find common ground, give in first and think in other people's shoes. Go and start slowly.
