Have you ever had such troubles: feeling low self-esteem because of a bad family background or bad looks; feeling particularly shameless and shameful because of low education; low self-esteem because of low wages? I dare not go home, let alone hang out with friends. ...In these c

Have you ever had such troubles:

Feeling deeply inferior because of a bad family background or poor appearance;

Feeling particularly shameless and ashamed because of low education;

Feeling inferior because of salary; I feel so depressed that I dare not go home, let alone hang out with friends.

...

In these comparisons, they gradually lost their self-confidence and became even more inferior. They always hold themselves to high standards and have never looked at themselves, but they don't know that no matter what position they are in, they will always feel a little inferior. There is a story in the book "You Have to Believe" by

.

Stan Lee , known as the "father of Marvel ", is a well-respected old man. He has created many works and brought joy to people all over the world.

But when he was engaged in comics career in his early years, he had extremely low self-esteem and even felt that what he did was of no value at all.

Because he is just an comic book author, the work he created is just a painting, a thing that can be seen but cannot be touched, and he will not get any positive feedback in a short period of time.

is not like an architect who can build a high-rise building that is visible to the naked eye, nor is he like a doctor who can treat a group of patients and get quick results.

Therefore, he feels that what he does has no sense of existence, does not have much value, and feels that what he does is not good.

But when his comics brought happiness to everyone and gained their approval, he realized that what he was doing was valuable. Therefore, I no longer feel inferior.

Inferiority is a kind of active choice of oneself. Even if you face the same thing, you will have different feelings.

Wei Luxu Tang | China Water Conservancy and Hydropower Press

Wei Luxu Tang mentioned in "You Have to Believe": " is not about having an inferiority complex because you are not good. But no matter how good a person looks, how many Everyone will feel inferior . "

She analyzes from the four dimensions of confidence, optimism, hope, and resilience how to gain happiness and say goodbye to inferiority.

Self-confidence

Social psychologist Bandura proposed: " self-confidence, also called self-efficacy ."

The so-called self-confidence is a person's assessment level of his ability to successfully cope with a specific situation.

There is no one who doesn’t hope that he can walk around, hold his head high, and be confident;

There is no one who doesn’t hope that he can complete the plan within the specified time, or even exceed the limit, and can also produce efficient results;

There is no one Who doesn’t want to forget everything, put aside all troubles, and pursue bravely and fearlessly when pursuing their goals.

But the fact is that when faced with difficulties, we shrink back. Once we shrink back, we can no longer muster the courage, or even fall into despair.

So, how can we get out of the island of unconfidence and become a charming and beautiful boy or girl?

First of all, don’t attack yourself and accept it unconditionally.

Never mind what you are now, what position you are in, how much you earn per month, what kind of apartment you live in, what kind of clothes you wear, what kind of car you drive, and how much food you eat. These are just external things that can be improved at any time. ,Change.

The most important thing is simplicity, less is more.

Accept yourself as you are at this moment, take off your colored glasses, face your true self, and accept yourself.

Secondly, clarify your positioning.

At home, she is the mother of her children, her husband's wife, her mother-in-law's daughter-in-law, her mother's daughter, and your baby;

outside, she is the company's employee, boss, manager, and an ordinary migrant worker.

clearly defines its positioning, where it is, what the situation is, and what it does.

If it has nothing to do with you, don’t interfere too much, let alone ask too many questions.

Finally, mobilize positive thinking.

No matter good or bad, we should look at it with positive thinking.

converts the trash can of negative emotions into a battery of positive emotions.

For example, you think you are stupid.

Negativity trash can: You are stupid.

Positive emotion battery: You are very good at thinking and doing, you just need time to react.

If you think about it this way, you will not be overwhelmed by negative emotions.

Optimism

The father of psychological capital research Lou Sanz said: "Optimism is making positive attributions about the present and the future."

People with high levels of optimism tend to make positive and positive evaluations of things; People with low levels of optimism tend to evaluate things negatively and negatively.

Negative people will lose control as soon as an accident occurs. They cannot calm down and think about response decisions, and will only use emotions to solve problems.

Positive people are different. They will look at what happens with positive thinking, think about problems rationally, and reduce the rate of errors.

Therefore, optimistic people can not only avoid unnecessary losses, but also view their lives positively.

But if you have been denied and ignored since childhood, how can you look at everything that happens to you with a positive mind?

In fact, it is very simple, that is, surrender to the present, focus on what you are doing at the moment, stop asking yourself "what do I don't have", and ask yourself more "what do I have".

Use the resources you have to do the best you can. When you understand that the essence behind your negativity is anxiety and lack of skills, then you will naturally think of a solution.

believes that as long as you are willing to make yourself optimistic, there will always be a way.

Hope

Psychologist Snyder once said: "Hope is a positive motivational state, which is based on the interaction of the path to success and motivation."

Only positive motivation can Will be motivated to find out how to accomplish goals. It is like a fuse. As long as you find it and ignite it, it will naturally lead you to hope.

But it's easy to say it, but it's another thing to do it. It is indeed a bit difficult to find the positive motivation of hope, because everyone who can reach the other side has experienced a long period of darkness and suffering. If you really find the fuse, it will be easily repelled by time.

So, how can we better realize our dreams and prevent them from being erased by time?

First of all, you must believe that you can achieve it, and you can indeed achieve it.

Secondly, don’t limit yourself, break the ceiling, and work hard to climb up.

Finally, stay away from people and things with negative energy. Those who consume you should break off the relationship if you can; and those things that are not helpful to your own growth, do as little as possible.

Spend time on people and things that can help you grow, and learn to do subtraction.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to persevere, recover quickly, and surpass oneself to achieve success when faced with adversity or problems.

will recover very well when faced with unexpected events in life and unsatisfactory work. He will not get stuck in it, but will recover very quickly, with almost no bad behavior.

Resilience is cultivated by solving problems again and again, and it can be cultivated day after day.

As long as enough problems are solved, the resilience will be strong enough.

Then when encountering difficulties, you will not be easily knocked down. On the contrary, you will deal with them calmly and will not be disturbed by them.

I am @向林​, I will accompany you to grow up throughout your life

Positive emotion battery: You are very good at thinking and doing, you just need time to react.

If you think about it this way, you will not be overwhelmed by negative emotions.

Optimism

The father of psychological capital research Lou Sanz said: "Optimism is making positive attributions about the present and the future."

People with high levels of optimism tend to make positive and positive evaluations of things; People with low levels of optimism tend to evaluate things negatively and negatively.

Negative people will lose control as soon as an accident occurs. They cannot calm down and think about response decisions, and will only use emotions to solve problems.

Positive people are different. They will look at what happens with positive thinking, think about problems rationally, and reduce the rate of errors.

Therefore, optimistic people can not only avoid unnecessary losses, but also view their lives positively.

But if you have been denied and ignored since childhood, how can you look at everything that happens to you with a positive mind?

In fact, it is very simple, that is, surrender to the present, focus on what you are doing at the moment, stop asking yourself "what do I don't have", and ask yourself more "what do I have".

Use the resources you have to do the best you can. When you understand that the essence behind your negativity is anxiety and lack of skills, then you will naturally think of a solution.

believes that as long as you are willing to make yourself optimistic, there will always be a way.

Hope

Psychologist Snyder once said: "Hope is a positive motivational state, which is based on the interaction of the path to success and motivation."

Only positive motivation can Will be motivated to find out how to accomplish goals. It is like a fuse. As long as you find it and ignite it, it will naturally lead you to hope.

But it's easy to say it, but it's another thing to do it. It is indeed a bit difficult to find the positive motivation of hope, because everyone who can reach the other side has experienced a long period of darkness and suffering. If you really find the fuse, it will be easily repelled by time.

So, how can we better realize our dreams and prevent them from being erased by time?

First of all, you must believe that you can achieve it, and you can indeed achieve it.

Secondly, don’t limit yourself, break the ceiling, and work hard to climb up.

Finally, stay away from people and things with negative energy. Those who consume you should break off the relationship if you can; and those things that are not helpful to your own growth, do as little as possible.

Spend time on people and things that can help you grow, and learn to do subtraction.

Resilience

Resilience is the ability to persevere, recover quickly, and surpass oneself to achieve success when faced with adversity or problems.

will recover very well when faced with unexpected events in life and unsatisfactory work. He will not get stuck in it, but will recover very quickly, with almost no bad behavior.

Resilience is cultivated by solving problems again and again, and it can be cultivated day after day.

As long as enough problems are solved, the resilience will be strong enough.

Then when encountering difficulties, you will not be easily knocked down. On the contrary, you will deal with them calmly and will not be disturbed by them.

I am @向林​, I will accompany you to grow up throughout your life