Text/Beidao
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Li Baoli in "A Thousand Arrows Pierce the Heart" has created a character worthy of thought.
She looked down on her husband's rural background, but still married him. The only way she could resist her fate was to ridicule, sarcastically, and accuse her husband.
This family was in turmoil because of Li Baoli's existence. Her husband finally couldn't bear it and chose to leave. Her only son also severed the mother-child relationship with her.
When I first read this paragraph, I was thinking, why is Li Baoli like this?
It seems that the character is not good, so he does not know how to be grateful and satisfied. In fact, the root cause may only be four words - insufficient ability.
I remember Wang Xiaobo once said: "All human pain is essentially anger at one's own incompetence."
Li Baoli is unable to change her life and can only obtain temporary psychological balance by suppressing her husband; she has no ability to escape her fate. The only way to survive is by being mean.
Speaking of which, Li Baoli is unpleasant, but at the same time she is also pitiable. However, her "pitifulness" only stems from her lack of ability.
On the contrary, they are those truly capable people in life. The stronger they are in their hearts, the gentler their words are.
In other words, the more capable a person is, the more he knows how to "speak carefully". The reason why he behaves like this is actually easy to understand.
01.
The more capable you are, the more sense of propriety you will have when treating others.
There is such a fragment in the movie "Views on Marriage and Love in an Era".
Charles met an old friend from the past. Since he had not contacted him for a long time, he asked, "How are you and your girlfriend now?"
After hearing this, the friend smiled and said, "She has She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
Charles immediately responded: “Don’t be sad, I’ve always heard that she and Toby are also ambiguous. It’s a good thing that you broke up.”
Charles’s purpose is to open up the other party’s conversation. The relationship between the two people was opened, but unexpectedly the friend's face turned cold and then said: "She is my wife now."
Because of this conversation, the relationship between the two people became more awkward, and this result is actually because Charles should not Gossip about others.
As the saying goes: "Sit quietly and think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others' faults in small talk."
There is an invisible distance between people. Be cautious when speaking to protect both people at the same time. This is how you should behave in the world. Some sense of proportion.
Really capable people often deal with people and know what to say without saying it. Only in this way can they be truly "cautious in their words."
02.
The more capable you are, the more you understand the power of silence
I once saw an interview where someone asked a well-known entrepreneur: What are the abilities that a leader should have?
The other party replied: "Speak less."
I remembered a story I once read. When a man first started his business, although he was the boss, he liked to stay with his employees frequently. As long as the employees had any opinions or needs, he would try his best to accommodate them.
In his mind, only when employees have a sense of identity with the company can the company have a good future.
But later on, those employees who often ate and drank with him gradually began to become more aggressive. Occasionally, they felt that it was okay if they did something wrong, and even made them angrier when the boss was angry.
In a state where employees are having mixed wages, the company's operations are getting worse and worse.
When he started his business for the second time, the man only got close to a few employees in the management team. As for the others, he kept a certain distance. Unexpectedly, his alienation actually stimulated the enthusiasm of the employees because not many people knew him. , everyone is afraid that they will be fired from the company if they make a mistake.
Mr. Lin Yutang once said: "Speak wisely and speak sparingly; too much words will lead to failure, and too many words will lead to defeat."
Only when you reach a certain age do you gradually understand: not everyone is worthy of telling all his or her thoughts; Not everyone deserves all kinds of explanations.
Know how to speak carefully, arm yourself with silence, and keep a certain distance from others, so that you are more likely to be respected.
is like a person who laughs and laughs all day long. Maybe even if he says he is angry, not many people will believe him. On the contrary, he is a person who always has a cold face, but many people want to please him.
03.
In " Journey to the West", Luo Jiaying plays Tang Seng, who is remembered for "talking a lot".
No matter when, he can always educate the people around him with a sincere tone. He will teach others to cherish flowers and plants, and will accuse others of not tying others up casually...
Tang Seng’s starting point is undoubtedly good, and he is indeed for those around him. Being good to people is even good for the world.
However, he is indeed annoying.
Several little demons who caught him would rather hurt themselves in order not to listen to Tang Seng's nagging; his beloved disciple Supreme Treasure accused him of his mistakes everywhere.
It seems that this plot is very outrageous, but the principle also applies in real life-When a person can't control his mouth, even if the starting point is good, it will be very annoying.
To avoid such a result, it is enough to learn to speak carefully.
knows what not to say, understands what is not necessary to say, and knows when to remain silent.
As the old saying goes, "Misfortune comes from the mouth." Only by controlling your mouth can you control your life.
—END—
