01
In the eyes of different people, the measurement standards of "selfishness" are also different.
Every family's situation is different. Relatives may have experienced some things and have a deep friendship that is unimaginable to ordinary people.
When the interests of relatives conflict with the interests of the small family, people will choose to favor themselves and think that the other party is selfish. However, the specific issues of still need to be analyzed in detail before can make a choice that is beneficial to the family.
Zhang Jing (pseudonym) was in a dilemma because of the question of who should spend the 100,000 yuan.
02
Zhang Jing and her younger brother Zhang Qiang (pseudonym) were born in a rural family. Because their father died early, their mother was sometimes bullied in the village, so Zhang Jing and her younger brother have always been strong and know how to protect their mother.
My mother is very far-sighted. She worked hard to make money to support her two children, and both of them went to college.
In order for them to graduate smoothly, my mother also borrowed money from relatives.
Zhang Jing and her younger brother stayed in the city after graduation. Her younger brother found a job first, but Zhang Jing was defrauded of money by a person pretending to be a recruiter because of her honest personality and little social experience.
Zhang Jing was devastated at the time and did not dare to tell her mother. Her younger brother used his first month's salary to rent a house for her sister. He encouraged her to cheer up and continue to find a job.
Later, Zhang Jing also found a job and finally lived in the city smoothly. The two saved some money, then rented a slightly larger room together, and brought their mother to live in the city, finally getting rid of the gossip of the villagers.
However, Zhang Jing's emotional journey was not smooth. Perhaps it was because she was too cowardly and introverted, so she always met unkind people.
’s first boyfriend always asked Zhang Jing to buy things for him and give him gifts. Zhang Jing attached great importance to this relationship, and because it was her first love, she unknowingly was PUAed by the other party without knowing it, and spent a lot of money on her boyfriend.
It was his younger brother who noticed something was wrong with Zhang Jing and asked him privately, and then he found out what happened.
After her younger brother's dissuasion, Zhang Jing was able to untie her knot. She broke up with the man, and she didn't get back the money she spent, fearing that her mother would find out if things got too big.
The second and third boyfriends also had their own troubles, which hurt Zhang Jing's feelings.
Zhang Jing, who has lacked father's love since she was a child, is easily bullied by these malicious people. Every time, her younger brother clearly helps Zhang Jing, protects her, and gives her money.
It can be said that 's younger brother is Zhang Jing's spiritual support on her emotional journey and her strong backing.
Later, after several years, Zhang Jing finally matured in her outlook on love and was no longer so love-minded. She worked hard and unexpectedly met a man. They both liked each other, so it was natural for them to get together.
A few years later, they got married.
After getting married, Zhang Jing gave birth to a son, and the couple had a very good relationship. Zhang Jing occasionally felt very emotional when she thought of her previous love experiences. She also told her husband about her experience, and he was surprised and sympathized with her.
Zhang Jing especially emphasized how her brother saved her at that time. She was very grateful to her brother, but her husband did not say anything.
Two years later, my younger brother also planned to get married. He relied on his own ability to save the money for the down payment of the house.
At this time, Zhang Jing suddenly thought that her younger brother had tried so hard to help and rescue her. If her younger brother hadn't protected her, I'm afraid she wouldn't be able to live such a good life today, and she might have been deceived by bad men out of money and begging for food. went.
Thinking of this, Zhang Jing was very excited, and she couldn't help but want to repay her brother.
So she took out 100,000 yuan from her work over the years. She wanted to give the money to her brother as a wedding gift to express her gratitude.
In fact, my younger brother is also a very capable person, he is enthusiastic and free-spirited, and he has many good friends around him.
's younger brother has been promoted twice after working for 5 years, and his monthly income has reached more than 7,000 yuan. His girlfriend's parents are in good conditions, and her salary is not low. Both of them are down-to-earth and hard-working people.
So, brother is not short of the 100,000 yuan.
Zhang Jing also knew about her brother's situation, but she insisted on giving him away, because it was not a matter of money, but expressing her feelings.
Zhang Jing’s husband found out about this, and he immediately expressed his opposition.
The husband said: "Please be sober. How many years have we been married? Now that my son is 2 years old, you don't know how quickly he spends money. In the future, he will go to key kindergartens and key elementary schools, and he will also have to buy a house in the school district. What's wrong with that?" It costs nothing? It’s all a waste of money!”
Zhang Jing said: “I told you before, during my most difficult period, my brother saved me every time. I don’t like this little reward. Don't you realize that this matter is very important to me?"
's husband still disagreed and said: "You two have a good relationship and can move around more. There is no need for to cost 100,000 yuan. It’s all for nothing. Could you please worry more about our family?”
Zhang Jing was angry: “How could it be for nothing? If I didn’t have my brother to save me, how could I have a family now?”
said her husband. : "But that's in the past. You can't use your relationship to affect our little family. Can't we live longer?"
Zhang Jing didn't want to talk to her husband and left the house angrily.
She told her brother about this and forced him to accept the 100,000 yuan.
The younger brother smiled and said: "Sister, whether it's money or not is another matter, but , this man is obviously too selfish and has no empathy at all. Sister, divorce him, you are suitable for a better one."
Zhang Jing He obeyed his brother's advice and soon divorced his husband.
After the divorce, her younger brother helped Zhang Jing find a new husband. This man was very good to her relatives and understood her family's situation. After the marriage, she never had any quarrels over issues between relatives.
03
Sometimes, people cannot accept some lifestyles. may seem strange, but in fact it has its own logic behind it.
Therefore, people advocate "well-matched" and choose people with the same three views to combine. Similar value orientations will make it easier for each other to understand each other.
So those "weird" lifestyles and ideas become normal with the right people.
1: It is very important to choose a "right match" person.
A family with similar conditions or the environment in which he was born, and the environment in which he grew up, such as rural areas or towns, first- and second-tier cities or small cities, all of which will affect a person's life. Three Views.
Under some specific conditions, such as the encounters between the siblings and their mother mentioned above, they will be closely connected. They will become spiritual pillars for each other, which is of great significance.
For them, relatives are not just people who grew up together, are also the whole hope of life.
Therefore, it is difficult for people who have different views from them, or who have not experienced the ups and downs of life, to understand their dedication to their loved ones. People who have had the same experience not only understand this kind of dedication, but are also more willing to give more care and financial help to their loved ones.
Well-matched couples can make communication between husband and wife effective, understand each other's thoughts, and contribute to the harmonious relationship between husband and wife.
Furthermore, similar family conditions can also prevent the couple from feeling that who owes the other, and avoid situations where one is secretly jealous of the other, calculating property, or even causing hatred due to inner imbalance.
2: Not every "Fudi Demon" is terrible
Now when people talk about blind dates and marriage, they will think of some words, such as "Fudi Demon", "Pastoral Girl", "Phoenix Man" and the like, Among them, the "Brother Supporting Demon" is the most terrifying, and can even cause others to lose their entire fortune.
But situations in life are diverse. Some people may seem to be supporting their younger brother, but in fact they are just returning a favor.
Therefore, the specific situation cannot be generalized, and the specific issues of need to be analyzed in detail in .
For people who lack empathy, as long as they see their wife giving money to their younger brother, they will immediately assume that the wife is a brother-in-law; if they see a man who is more filial to his mother and always asks his mother's opinion, he will be identified as a mama's boy.
's behavior of randomly labeling people is not good and can easily lead to accidental injuries.
But now many people's concepts have been solidified. In their own marriages, sometimes they can clearly understand their partner's actions, but they still rely on the definitions of "the devil who supports the younger brother" and "the baby boy of the mother".
This is the easiest way to hurt other people's hearts, and it can also lead to a good marriage ending in divorce.
text/风华
