Text/Tang Ruo
Tang Ruo’s original work of Xinxue, any violation will be punished
Self-knowledge is clear, self-knowledge is wise, knowing oneself is the beginning of wisdom, Socrates also said, learn to know yourself. Knowing ourselves is the process of connecting with ourselves.
Most of the time, our understanding of ourselves is relatively vague. We are used to being at the mercy of life, but we often do not understand ourselves deeply enough. Therefore, we must learn to know ourselves, which actually allows us to have a comprehensive sorting and mastery of ourselves, and then we will have a clearer understanding of ourselves.
Nietzsche once said that an unexamined life is not worth living. Many entrepreneurs will also write their own autobiographies. In essence, they are sorting out themselves and seeing what aspects of their own growth we will focus on sharing with you today. A model for understanding ourselves. When we are willing to recognize values, we gradually open the door to our own inner vision.
Zhou Harry Chuang is a famous psychologist. He proposed and constructed a model for self-understanding, saying that the self actually contains four levels.
The first part, the public self
The public self is mostly what we are willing to show to others, and what others are willing to accept. This public self is often friendly, or friendly, or even deliberately created by us character.
’s part about disclosing me is mostly the part that many people are doing self-brand building or we are willing to expose it in interpersonal relationships. We suggest that by disclosing this part, we can increase our relationships with others. Let others trust us more.
If we want to bring people closer to each other, in the public part of me, when talking and communicating with others, we recommend saying more about my feelings, not about you, because when you tell about you , it is easy to give others a sense of command and oppression, but from my perspective, it makes others willing to approach you.
We can also say more about ourselves and the feeling of getting closer to others through our ways. This is the meaning and value of disclosing this part of me.
In terms of disclosing my part, when we communicate with others, we recommend following two orders. The first is to proceed step by step, and the other is to know how to reserve appropriately.
In the exploration and development of disclosing this part of me, we can leave it appropriately blank. This kind of blank space can allow us to maintain more interactions in the relationship, because shallow communication can easily cause a lot of misunderstandings, and it can also make others feel Until you have other plans.
Therefore, in the construction of publicity, we should appropriately examine our own advantages, highlight our advantages, and secondly expose ourselves appropriately and sincerely. These are the keys to publicizing my social value and social connection.
The second part, blind me
From a psychological point of view, "I" can be adjusted, I can also be shaped, I am dynamic. This part of me that is blind allows us to see that each of us actually has many unknown aspects and contents about ourselves.
Blind me, we often have two bad habits. We usually habitually refute others. Once others have different opinions from us, we will refute others. There is also a blind me. Our evaluation of ourselves is very easy to be unobjective. It is easy to fall into some denial of oneself or excessive pride.
Blind Me means that there are actually many vague areas and some blind spots in our understanding of ourselves. It would be a good thing if we see our blind spots through something. In fact, we may not be as good as we think; Not as bad as imagined. The blind spot of
is that we have little experience, so many things are not exposed. Yohji Yamamoto once said that the self must experience a collision before it can have a perception. The environment is our own best perception, and the self is dynamically adjusted.
For more articles about self-growth and self-improvement, you can follow my column, which will help you rebuild a strong inner self in the complex jungle world from multiple dimensions such as mentality, thinking, habits, interpersonal relationships, and cognition..
The third part, the hidden me
Hidden part of my characteristics is a part of ourselves that we want to protect. This part of hiding ourselves reveals the deeper aspects of ourselves that we are not ready to show to others. For example, some people are afraid of close relationships and are used to using defense to protect themselves.
Some people have a perfectionism complex and are afraid of rejection, so these are the parts that we feel are not good enough and judge ourselves internally, so we don’t want to show them.
There are also people whose consciousness is not allowed by the mainstream consciousness, which may lead them to want to hide it. For example, although homosexuality is legal abroad, it is still relatively secretive in China.
Hiding me is often a way for us to protect our privacy, and it is also a way for us to hide part of our personality traits as part of the social collective, especially the dark personality in our hearts.
The fourth part: The potential of me
The potential of me, this part of me has not been explored so we have not shown it. Many times, the potential self may come from our inner self-limitation, from our inner lack of belief in ourselves, and we are bound by our own consciousness and beliefs.
Another possibility is that our hearts are suppressed by emotions and forget the deeper exploration of ourselves. So for this part of the potential self, we need to try more and explore more. The more we explore ourselves, the deeper we find ourselves.
Facing Harry Zhou, we need and think about several questions
The first question is the public part of me: Is there anything that makes you feel uncomfortable? Is there anything I can add?
As we have said before, I am a person who can be dynamic and adjusted according to our consciousness and cognition, so regarding the disclosure of me, we can ask ourselves if there is any discomfort, and we can adjust these discomforts
For example, if a good person is evaluated as a good person by the outside world, and he feels uncomfortable and does not like this evaluation, then we will think about which aspect of the image we want to show to the outside world, and we can go in that direction more Go adjust.
Someone once told me that she didn’t like others calling her a strong woman because the title didn’t feel like her own.
I asked her at that time, which aspect do you want to improve in this area? She said that she felt that she was not that strong, so she actually wanted to show her vulnerability to others.
Second, the blind me part, how does this part make you feel? Do you agree with these observations made by others? What do you think is the reason for the difference between yourself and others' opinions of you?
Blind me, we may need to pay attention to other people's evaluations of us, and then we think about whether we agree with these opinions, which is also a supplement to ourselves.
For example, I have a colleague who always thinks that she is very friendly, but people around her feel that she is a little unkind.
After careful observation, I discovered that because she is very principled and merciless at work, in fact, she is particularly friendly to the side of life, and she distinguishes between public and private.
Therefore, through the blind self-cognition, we can better see the image of ourselves in the minds of others. We can deepen our understanding of ourselves through this part, and thus see the enrichment of ourselves.
Third, the hidden self, ask yourself: Do you want others to know more about you, or would you rather hide more? If hiding part of me could make your life less tiring, which part would you choose to reveal? You can use a colored pen to circle this part, and use the arrow to pull it to the upper left corner to reveal me
In fact, regarding hiding me, from a psychological point of view, the more a person exposes, the better, or he is very open and selfless in his heart.
So if a person hides this part of me too much, he will easily get tired and feel as if he can’t say anything to others.
But because this part of me is understood and dissolved by myself, we can better see the opening of ourselves.
For example, I used to have some embarrassing things that I didn’t dare to say in front of others. Later, I felt that it was nothing, and I would laugh at myself. Therefore, once some of the hidden parts of ourselves can be disclosed, it is an important part of improving our personality charm.
Fourth, the unknown part of me: Which of your new discoveries make you more confident? What things make you sad and heartbroken? Who else needs support and help? Finally, you can hang the painted window in front of your desk. When you encounter confusion in interpersonal communication or career development again, check it out for yourself: In which area can you make some adjustments and efforts?
This is the overall introduction of Zhou Harry Window . This model is more about helping us build a good interactive self-model with society.
In fact, Zhou Harry Window is telling us that once your personality is discovered, you can make conscious adjustments. In our Chinese culture, we actually pay attention to Zhongzheng culture, which is also a process of self-adjustment.
