Many people feel suffocated when they see a mother-in-law like Mrs. She. He Xiaohan can live with her for 6 years, which is really tolerable. He Xiaohan has a good temper, but if it were any other woman, she probably wouldn't be able to bear it for a month.
"The mother-in-laws and daughters-in-law in this world are just because of a husband like you who does nothing." He Xiaohan was too tired. She didn't want to continue such a life without dignity, so she decided to move out and live alone. She also said that her husband was Inaction in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not a matter of two people, but a matter of three people. If the husband does well, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be too bad. If the husband turns a blind eye, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will be difficult to be harmonious.
1. Dislike
Mrs. She started her own business with her husband. After her husband passed away, he left her a lot of property. She could afford an aunt, live in a villa, and have children who are prosperous. If she can live like Mrs. She in her old age, she should I am very happy!
Everyone has different worries. Old lady She, who should be very happy in the eyes of outsiders, also has worries: is very dissatisfied with her daughter-in-law, He Xiaohan, who has no grandchildren!
Her son is the chief surgeon of the hospital and has a doctorate degree. His daughter-in-law was pregnant before marriage. She used to be a nurse. Her family conditions should be average and she is a foreigner. In the heart of Mrs. She, He Xiaohan is not worthy of her son at all. No matter what He Xiaohan says or does, Mrs. She can relate it to her education and background, often insinuating that she is uneducated and belittling her.
Mrs. She agreed to He Xiaohan's entry because she thought He Xiaohan would give birth to a son. Unexpectedly, she gave birth to a daughter and Tian Sijing gave birth to a son. This made Mrs. She even more dissatisfied with He Xiaohan and felt that she was too useless.
Generally, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law live together, and everyone will restrain their emotions in order to save face. He Xiaohan never talks back to her mother-in-law, and always obeys her in everything she says and does. Mother-in-law is different. She is not a person who swallows her anger. She will immediately vent her dissatisfaction when her daughter-in-law doesn't like her.
Youyou gave He Xiaohan's antidepressant medicine to his classmates, and the classmate developed drug poisoning. When Mrs. She arrived at the hospital, she not only didn't care about He Xiaohan, but instead sneered at her, saying she was too embarrassing. That look of disgust will probably be remembered by He Xiaohan for the rest of his life! It's so hurtful. As a family, we should be concerned about our daughter-in-law's physical condition at this time, but she only thinks about her own face and her dislike of her daughter-in-law.
If the mother-in-law dislikes her daughter-in-law, there will definitely be conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The more the daughter-in-law gives in, the more the mother-in-law dislikes her.
2. The obsession with boys over girls
Mrs. She broke the condom and found that He Xiaohan was pregnant, but He Xiaohan was taking antidepressant drugs, which may cause fetal malformations. When she was in the hospital, Mrs. She gave the doctor a red envelope containing 10,000 yuan. She wanted to know whether He Xiaohan was carrying a boy or a girl.
The doctor adhered to his principle and did not tell her. As a result, Mrs. She was so smart that she thought that the water the doctor poured into the teacup was a hint to her. The water poured out by her married daughter led her to believe that He Xiaohan was pregnant with a girl. So, she persuaded He Xiaohan to abort the child from the perspective of eugenics and nurturing.
The fetus was currently developing normally, but He Xiaohan was unwilling to abort it, so Mrs. She sent Youyou to Tian Sijing's home, hoping to use Youyou to threaten He Xiaohan into giving up the child in her belly. During the dispute between the two, He Xiaohan fell down the stairs and the child was not saved. This played into the heart of Mrs. She.
He Xiaohan had just had a miscarriage, and Mrs. She told her to take good care of her body, which meant that she should take good care of her body to have a second child. She had said before that if the baby was still a girl, then He Xiaohan would have three or four babies until she gave birth to a son.
I really admire people like Mrs. She. As a woman, she can be considered a strong woman, and she has raised two children so well. She should know that women can hold up half the sky, men and women are the same, but she is so patriarchal that she will not give up until she can have a grandchild.
There are many mother-in-laws like Mrs. She. When she heard that her daughter-in-law had given birth to a girl, she didn’t even want to hug her granddaughter, and she didn’t want to serve her during the confinement period. She didn’t even consider her daughter-in-law’s physical condition. She started giving birth to a second child right after she left the delivery room, resulting in The conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has deteriorated rapidly, and many relationships between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have been ruined by the need to give birth to a son.
What could have been a happy family was suddenly ruined by the words "preferring sons over daughters". Those old people who favor sons over daughters should really change their thinking. In the future, you will rely on your sons, not your grandchildren, to support your retirement. If your sons and daughters-in-law don’t worry about not having a son, you will have nothing to worry about.
Youyou was originally a very sensible child. Because Mrs. She belittled her and often said that girls are not as good as boys, Youyou became sensitive and developed psychological problems.
We often say that having an elderly person in the family is like having a treasure. This "treasure" should be an elderly person who is considerate and reasonable and can make the children feel at ease. Children will feel very at ease around these elderly people. Mrs. She is such a forceful parent who will only cause trouble and will only increase the burden on her children. As her daughter, Tian Sijing said frankly that she couldn't stand it and was afraid that her mother would live in her own home. If your children are afraid of living with you, as an old man, you really need to think about it.
3. He Xini’s husband
Mrs. She is in her current situation because of Tian Siyang’s connivance. He knows his mother’s shortcomings and can remain indifferent when watching his wife being wronged. He often wears headphones, thinking that as long as he doesn’t If you blend in and your wife tolerates it, you can get by.
The root cause of the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is actually her son. If Tian Siyang could take on family responsibilities earlier, He Xiaohan would not be so sad.
After He Xiaohan had a miscarriage, Mrs. She heard outside the ward that the child was a boy. She regretted that she should not have let her daughter-in-law abort the child. Only then did Tian Siyang realize that why Mrs. She wanted He Xiaohan to give up the child in her belly was not for He Xiaohan's good, but because she thought her daughter-in-law was pregnant with a girl.
Tian Siyang just believed how stupid his mother was and how wrong she was. If she continued like this, the family would be broken up by her sooner or later. After seeing this clearly, Tian Siyang made up his mind to live separately from his mother. He also wanted Mrs. She to calm down and change her bad temper and some ignorant thoughts.
In the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law of He Xiaohan and Mrs. She, we see the true state of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. It is not important that the mother-in-law is picky about her daughter-in-law. After all, every parent thinks that their children are good, and Tian Siyang is indeed very good in his career. However, what she did went too far and caused serious trouble to her daughter-in-law. The son's attitude is very important. If the son turns a blind eye, the mother-in-law will take advantage of her and think that her son is also on her side. She will be bold enough to bully her daughter-in-law in front of her son. The son will not help her daughter-in-law anyway.
When a son can be treated fairly between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will restrain themselves, because these two women care about the man's feelings and do not want to embarrass him.
Her mother-in-law does not dare to bully a woman whose husband protects her. Tian Siyang does not take He Xiaohan's grievances seriously, so Mrs. She will be more aggressive. On such a big thing as pregnancy, He Xiaohan must listen to her. No respect for my daughter-in-law at all.
I remember that in " Do you know ", Gu Tingye said something to Minglan : I am the oldest among men, and you are the oldest among women! In the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, whoever a man values more will have a better life. If a man can be fair, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be too bad!
4. Don’t be a mother-in-law like "Old Lady She"
Grandma She. Her biggest shortcoming is not her preference for boys over girls. Her main problem is that she takes too much care. Pure patriarchal preference, as long as it does not affect He Xiaohan's life, then you can let her go. She controls too much, which is the real source of He Xiaohan's depression.
Mrs. She requires her son and daughter-in-law to live with her. She dislikes her daughter-in-law very much. She dislikes each other and living separately is the best choice. She is not very old, and there is an aunt at home who is responsible for the housework. It is no problem to live alone. Getting together as a family during holidays can not only reduce conflicts, but also make family relationships more harmonious.
live together, and Mrs. She treats her son and daughter-in-law as children. goes in and out of the bedroom without knocking on the door, leaving no privacy for the children. She also has to intervene in matters between husband and wife.
Having a baby is not a trivial matter. Her son and daughter-in-law do not plan to have a second child at the moment, so she is trying to find a way to get her daughter-in-law pregnant. He Xiaohan's current physical condition is not suitable for pregnancy. Her mother-in-law should not be so involved. Only the person involved has the decision-making power when it comes to giving birth to a child. "I will help you take care of it after birth" is the biggest lie.
Mrs. She not only cares about her son and daughter-in-law's affairs, but also her granddaughter's affairs. Youyou likes to play football, but Mrs. She disagrees. She thinks that playing football is a boy's thing, and girls should learn to learn skills like dancing. Youyou didn't like wearing skirts, so Mrs. She threw away all her sweatshirts and asked her to wear a white skirt. I think the parents of the children should have the final say when it comes to educating their children.
I once read a text about why the elderly cannot be allowed to help raise children: Because parents and grandparents have different goals in raising children. Parents want their children to become self-reliant people, which is important for their children’s future. Responsible; while when the older generation raises children, they treat them as "toys" and their goal is to "have fun". It doesn't matter whether the children can become talents or not, as long as they are happy in their old age.
Old lady She doesn’t let Youyou play football. Is she really doing it for Youyou? She just thinks that girls should not play football, which is embarrassing, and does not consider her future development direction, just to satisfy her inner needs for pleasure. He Xiaohan thinks about Youyou's all-round development. Girls playing football will also be a way in the future. She has to consider Youyou's future and respect her children's interests.
Therefore, whether it is giving birth or educating children, the elderly should not take too much care. If you want to help, then do some practical things, such as eating, drinking, sleeping, and sleeping. The future of the child is still left to the parents.
Too many mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have a bad relationship, all because the mother-in-law manages too much and doesn't manage well, and ends up hurting the relationship between the son, daughter-in-law, and the couple. If Mrs. She could help pick up Youyou, let He Xiaohan go to work, and not get involved in the personal affairs of her son and daughter-in-law, her family would not have so many conflicts at all.
5. Bottom line
"You clearly know that I have been wronged, but you can keep silent."
He Xiaohan's grievance was caused by her mother-in-law. Her husband is responsible, but she herself has no bottom line. She blames Tian Siyang for not taking care of her. I supported myself, but I never thought that I should brace myself earlier. You can only keep your own bottom line by yourself. No one will be responsible for your bottom line, because it is you who give up your bottom line again and again.
He Xiaohan knew that her mother-in-law had done something wrong, but she still couldn't bear to say anything. Youyou ate the bacon sent by her grandma. It's okay for children to eat a little bacon occasionally. After the old lady She said a word, He Xiaohan immediately brought the meat. gone. Youyou threw the dress bought by her grandma into the trash can. When questioned by her mother-in-law, He Xiaohan said that she had thrown it away by mistake, but she did not dare to tell her mother-in-law: I have the final say on Youyou's affairs!
If He Xiaohan had stuck to the bottom line from the beginning and had the final say in his children's affairs, there wouldn't have been so many things later. When she found out that her unexpected pregnancy was caused by her mother-in-law, she was still willing to take Youyou back to live there. She wanted to kneel down, but others couldn't help her up.
No matter when, I think the bottom line is very important. Women who cannot keep the bottom line are often very soft-hearted women. Such women are easily wronged.The best way to protect yourself is to keep your bottom line. Don't blame others for being too strong and change yourself!
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has existed since ancient times. Some people handle it well, and the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can live together, and the family is harmonious. Some people handle it poorly, and they still have a bad reputation after being wronged. He Xiaohan is probably a "stupid" woman. She only turned around and left after being hurt.
Don’t be like He Xiaohan who waited until you were covered in wounds before you knew how to protect yourself and your children, and don’t be like Mrs. She who ruined a good family!
