01
Self-Control
Previously, I mentioned that I ban both children from playing games until they are high school students. In addition to the fact that children are too young to make judgments, the more important thing is that before children enter high school, their brains are actively developing. I hope that my children can be responsible for their own outlook on life and values, read more books that expand their imagination, and do more whole-body exercises. Yes, today's online games are very exciting and interesting to play. Generally, once you play them once, you will become addicted to them. Because the entertainment is really strong, the children will play for hours on end, and sometimes they are even addicted to it as if they were addicted to drugs. Of course, games are not without merit. They train the brain's reaction speed and perseverance, but during the most critical period of brain development, I don't want children to be too biased towards one way of using their brains. Even if you don’t play video games, there are a lot of fun and interesting things in the real world. I often tell my children this truth. In addition, I never buy so-called "children's picture books" for my two children. This kind of children's story picture book similar to comics is a true portrayal of "fast food culture" and fundamentally limits children's imagination. I thought there were only text-based reading books, and children could use their imaginations as much as they wanted and create a world in their own minds. Video games and picture books are really interesting. But they are highly dependent, and once addicted to them, it is difficult to get out of the virtual world. If the exciting scenes in video games are always played endlessly, children will become unable to meet the rhythm of ordinary life. If they are too addicted to them, they will feel very painful about the huge difference between the virtual world and the real world.
02
Self-control
Of course, not every child will be addicted to games, and if the child is not allowed to touch these things, he may not have a topic to communicate with his classmates in school. And I still insist that it is not too late to play until my children reach high school and can control their own behavior to a certain extent. Although the children couldn't accept it and were unwilling to do so, I could only forcibly prohibit it. At the same time, I will actively encourage children to make friends without playing games. I believe that gradually children will understand that in addition to common interests, what is more important in interacting with others is personal charm, including the breadth of knowledge, the degree of knowledge, the character of being kind to others, etc. Acquiring these abilities requires children to learn self-control and arrange their lives in their own way. Before, like most parents, I told my children that it is better to go to bed early and get up early at a fixed time, and to study at a fixed time. Only in this way can they develop living and study habits. Until one day, I went to Beijing to visit a friend and saw his child doing homework, watching TV, and replying to text messages from time to time. I asked him, why don't you take care of your son? Is this a good way to learn from him? He told me: "This child has been like this since he was a child, and we didn't care about him. Today's children are different from us. He is often multi-tasking, but he is a top academic, and often helps other students answer questions. You just saw him sending text messages and he was doing this." This visit from a friend touched me deeply. I strictly manage my son every day, not only does not achieve good results, but the family is always in a very depressed atmosphere.
03
Self-control
Therefore, I decided to make changes to my management methods and let my son start to manage himself. It is undeniable that this is indeed very risky and may cause his learning to be worse, but I think as long as he does not learn badly, it will be a good choice for him to start trying to control himself. After a few weeks of confusion, I thought about one thing clearly. If nothing happens, my son will not be able to get into Tsinghua University and Peking University. The rest of the colleges and universities are all about the same. What children today lack most is the ability to manage themselves.After repeated thinking, my son and I made an agreement. It is the son's responsibility to abide by the homework submission time, but the time for doing homework and studying is left to the child to judge and arrange properly. I know that it is indeed difficult to allow children to truly independently arrange their own study and life. This difficulty may not be manageable by a child under 12 years old. Although there are risks, I still want to persevere. On the one hand, I want to help my son establish the concept that "learning is for yourself, and you are responsible for deciding when to carry out it, and then implement it"; on the other hand, I want to let my son know that various things will happen in life. According to the surrounding situation, they can arrange what they should do in the way that they can best control. Such people will not miss any good opportunities and can overcome no matter what difficulties they encounter. On the contrary, parents only compare with other children, strictly discipline, follow the current popular education culture, and only compete on the one-way track of academic performance. Children who grow up in this way will be confused even when encountering the smallest changes, and miss opportunities at critical moments. In fact, today's post-85s and post-90s have already shown this situation. Allowing children to develop "self-control" from an early age, allowing children to have a relaxing and exciting day every day, can make children's brains more flexible and have better control over their future.
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To be continued
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