Experts say: Yelling and scolding children will harm them for life! Do you agree?
Many experts and parenting bloggers say: yelling and scolding children will harm their lives.
Or "A vicious child will be a lifelong shadow for the child!"
So as mothers, after losing our temper with our children, we fall into regret and self-blame.
is like a nerve, sometimes gentle and sometimes fierce.
But experts or parenting bloggers, or ourselves, may have overlooked one issue. Each child's personality and characteristics are different, and each child's acceptance ability is also different.
I was not in a good mood some time ago. Sometimes I yelled at my children out of control (for example, playing with my phone and forgetting time, eating snacks instead of eating). After yelling, I fell into self-blame and felt that my reaction was too intense.
But yesterday’s conversation with my child made me feel relieved and I understood that my anxiety and self-righteous temper were nothing to my child.
The child said: Mom, do you know why I am very good at school but not so good at home?
I asked: Why?
The child said: Because the teacher is too serious!
I said: Isn’t mom serious? They are all so fierce!
child said: I don’t think it is serious, not that fierce, just a little bit fierce occasionally!
As an old mother, I suddenly felt that my self-torture a while ago was just asking for trouble. In my opinion, this was the time when I was the most ferocious and grumpy, but in the eyes of my children, this is nothing to you.
Therefore, it is not unacceptable for mothers to have tempers and emotions, but we can tell our children in advance, for example, if mother is not in a good mood today, please arrange your own affairs. I am afraid that I will lose my temper easily.
Everyone has their own emotions regarding whether their mother can get angry. We are not yet strong enough to fully manage our emotions, but we can work hard, learn, and slowly get better.
Being a mother is not like becoming an immortal or a Buddha. How can you not have any temper or emotions?
Thinking about it from another perspective, can a child only stay with his mother throughout his life? Can we control others if we control ourselves?
Being able to withstand and resolve other people's negative emotions is also an ability. Emotional intelligence is more important than IQ, isn't it?
