Families who habitually give negative comments to their children
It is the wish of every parent to hope that their children will succeed, but they have their own standards for motivating their children. The most wrong thing is to be a negative commentator, constantly denying and destroying the child's self-confidence.
In the process of education, criticism is inevitable.
"Why can others do it, but you can't?"
"Why do you always say that you can't change the same mistake after talking to you so much?"
It is difficult for children who grow up with habitual negative comments to have an accurate and clear understanding of themselves, let alone how to express themselves.
Psychologist Susan Forward said in "Toxic Parents":
"No child is willing to admit that he is worse than others. They want to be affirmed by adults, and their understanding of themselves often comes from the evaluation of adults. People who are often beaten by their parents often tolerate it. It is easy for children to have low self-esteem and fall into self-doubt and self-denial. In severe cases, they may suffer from mental illness, leading to many extreme behaviors. "
Therefore, do not underestimate the small negative comments every day. It is likely that the child will have a low self-esteem when he becomes an adult in the future.
Parents with negative attitude towards life
Every family or every adult has its own pressure and unsatisfactory life. A negative parent will usually complain in front of the child, either complaining to the child about the injustice of fate, or telling the child that they are counting on him in the future. Parents may only be a way to vent their emotions, but in the process of the child's growth, it will become a negative catalyst, subconsciously labeling themselves as inferior to others, and it is difficult to have self-confidence.
Mark Twain once said:
"An optimist, even in a situation of having nothing, can still find the road to happiness."
Writer Dickens also once said: "A sound mentality, It is more powerful than a hundred kinds of wisdom! "
Mentality is the core of human beings and the cure for everything. It also affects the growth of children inadvertently. A parent with a negative attitude can easily lead to a child's low self-esteem, while an optimistic and positive parent can more easily make a child grow up confident and happy.
requires children to be sensible and obedient families
During consultation, compared to rebellious children, they are actually more afraid of what their parents say. Those "sensible and obedient children"
because few children are born obedient. Behind all obedience are personal self-repression and even emotional sacrifice to win the favor of their parents. Children who seem to make their families worry-free are most likely to develop psychological problems.
It’s not that he doesn’t have his own demands and ideas, it’s just that he never dared to do so, and in the end he habitually endured and completely ignored himself. Children like
are rarely able to express themselves clearly and accurately when they grow up. Instead, they continue to cater to and be obedient. They will not cause trouble for others, but they always let themselves live on thin ice and be cautious.
Children from families with complex relationships
Home is a hotbed for growth, but a family that lacks warmth will become our nightmare.
Disharmony between husband and wife, or complex family relationships, will directly affect the growth of children, just like Qin Shi in " The Twenty-Eight Laws of Love ". She cares about marriage more than anyone else, but she will unconsciously dodge. She looks confident, positive and optimistic, but she actually has a very low self-esteem in her bones, and she is just using an extreme way to protect herself.
I have to say that it is difficult for a child who grows up in a complicated relationship to be confident. She has no love and protection, so she needs to disguise herself, and at the same time she cannot get love and recognition. The heart longs for love, but the behavior always pushes love outwards, just because of the inferiority complex in the bones and the uncertainty about oneself.
END
text/emotional transfer station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), specializes in the restoration and repair of love relationships, marital conflicts and differences, and the healing of spiritual trauma caused by original ecological families. In the lonely journey of life, we listen to your grievances and pressures, help visitors improve their skills in getting along with each other, win back their lovers, manage their relationships well, and strive to become a happier person.
