"Meet Your Children, Meet Your Better Self" is a spiritual growth lesson written by three American education experts for parents all over the world. The book believes that we often educate children not out of love, but out of fear.
Based on decades of experience in psychological counseling and educating children, the author points out that to solve women's problems, we must first solve their parents' problems - the latter is the most important.
Raising children is a long journey
“Raising children is a long journey. Every parent will experience two emotions along the way, sometimes because of love, and more often because of fear. "
"When parents grow up, it means that they can let go of their hands and feet to love and appreciate their children, and no longer dwell on issues such as what to do to make their children successful. "
In addition to the views that directly touch the soul, this book also teaches many practices like most parent-child books.
For example, on the issue of sleep, a parent-child book I read before said that in order to make the child fall asleep on time, it is necessary to turn off the lights, give the child a bath before going to bed, or give the child milk, massage, etc.
A method taught in "Meeting Children, Meeting a Better Self" is to remind repeatedly to enhance psychological awareness. One hour before going to bed, say "I will go to bed in one hour."
Remind again half an hour, twenty minutes, ten minutes, five minutes, and remind repeatedly.
Maybe he may not care when you remind him at first, but as you remind him more often, he will think along your train of thought, and it will be easier to coax him to sleep after a while.
This approach sounds very ordinary, it is just a way of communication, but it can be found in Pavlov's conditioned reflex.
Control your emotions in front of your children
In modern society, people generally face huge work pressure. When there is pressure, there will be troubles, and when there are troubles, there will be resentment.
Every parent must reflect on whether you have turned the pressure you encounter in work and life into resentment and spread it on innocent children.
Many times, a child may just make a small mistake, but in exchange for parents' anger and loud scolding.
Invisibly, if a child is frightened, he may become silent and taciturn.
In fact, when a child is growing up, his young mind needs careful care from us adults.
You can never be too careful with everything you say, do, and do in front of your children.
If parents themselves cannot control their emotions in front of their children, how can you ask your children to control their emotions?
Every parent should study the growth process of their children.
Having a good grasp of the growth process of their children will naturally help to resolve problems such as adolescence.
At different stages of a child's growth, the role of parents should be constantly adjusted, especially in the special stages of adolescence and independence.
What parents need to do is to "take small steps to return the right to grow to their children, exercise their independence, creativity and resilience, and develop their intelligence."
Children can often resolve many problems on their own, and parents should try to avoid excessive and inappropriate interference. Regarding how to discipline adolescent children, grasp the right balance between relaxation and relaxation.
We do not live in a vacuum of "truth", and our "knowledge" is not perfect from birth. Children make mistakes, and even parents are no exception.
However, when faced with their children’s mistakes, many parents often adopt a “teaching” attitude and “theory” with their children everywhere and in everything to force their children to “return to their lost ways.” Needless to say the effect of this, right? The author
sternly pointed out that in reality, "parents often criticize and educate their children verbally, which results in weakening the power of practice."
What we should follow is to let the children realize their own mistakes and obtain behavioral correction through lessons.
Because according to the laws of children's physical and mental development and the general laws of cognition, "It is through experiences and lessons that children learn valuable knowledge, know the bottom line of doing things, and know how to be responsible for their own actions."
written at the end
Meet your children and meet your better self.
Raising children allows us to discover unprecedented advantages. We are actually willing to do our best for someone and do many things that are beyond ordinary people;
But on the other hand, we also find that we are more selfish than ever, and we have even had some thoughts that frighten us.
Parents must dare to expose their own cowardice, and use their words and deeds to show their children the essence of growing up—a full, flesh-and-blood life.
