Children who enter the rebellious period often do some rebellious behaviors that are unbelievable to us. We parents are angry and helpless, because we all know that the more we beat and scold the rebellious children, the more counterproductive it will be. But even if we offer good advice, children often fail to listen. How should we educate rebellious children?
In fact, it is very important to learn to talk to your children. We have summarized the following three points to encourage all parents.
The first point is to give children a sense of belonging.
A sense of belonging is a kind of "recognition", which means being able to become an indispensable existence in a certain group and feeling one's own value in it. Children who lack a sense of belonging will become insecure, lack self-confidence, and will gradually become alienated from you.
When a child reaches the rebellious stage, due to a lack of security and self-confidence, it is easy for a child to develop a suspicious and sensitive character. Therefore, parents need to spend more energy, pay attention to their children's needs, listen to their children's emotional changes, and give them appropriate attention and love so that they can feel a sense of belonging.
The second point is to give respect to children.
Children are not the private property of parents. Although you have raised him, he has had his own life from the day he was born. Children in the rebellious period have increasingly enhanced self-awareness and desire to be respected. Although they are still children in terms of age, in their hearts they prefer to be treated as adults.
Therefore, we learn to respect the child, respect the child's thoughts and feelings, give him more personal space, allow the child to make mistakes, and give him the opportunity to correct. Do not refute your child's opinions at will, do not attack your child wantonly in front of outsiders, and do not try to pry into your child's privacy.
The third point is to give children a sense of recognition.
Many children have said when talking to us, "No matter what I do, they don't like me." "When I have a new idea, they always like to beat my mood and feel that I can't complete it." The children are very upset inside. They don't know what to do to satisfy their parents. Can they only gain their approval by following the parents' steps?
This is our common "percussive education". Parents will use sarcasm, belittling, etc. to undermine their children's enthusiasm. Some of these parents just hope that their children will not be too proud, while others do not agree with their children from the bottom of their hearts. This kind of disapproval will make the child feel that his self-worth is getting lower and lower. When the child's rebellious period comes, it will arouse the child's rebellious mentality. The more disapproval the parents have, the more the child will do. In this regard,
firstly suggests that parents’ self-awareness should not be too high. Just because their children have different values from yours does not mean that they are wrong. Secondly, parents should try to use empathy, take off their colored glasses, let their children have the courage to try, and explore their shining points as much as possible, and give them full encouragement and recognition.
