In the fairy tale, God divides the world into two, and the children get the half of fragility, innocence and happiness.
However, in real life, there is also a lot of pain in the world of children. They are far more anxious than we imagined and their emotions are more likely to collapse.
In 2012, a researcher conducted a survey on the depression of 2,679 adolescents aged 10-25 in my country and found that the proportion of depression among adolescents was 20.3%.
In other words, 1 in every 5 children tends to be depressed.
In 2014, a report by the World Health Organization showed that globally, suicide is the third leading cause of death for teenagers aged 15-19, and depression is one of the main causes of teenagers' illness and disability.
Why are parents paying more and more attention to their children's education and paying more and more attention to their children's mental health? Instead, there will be so many children who will feel depressed?
Psychologist Rolo Mei once pointed out: "Children's anxiety and depression are largely due to their parents."
Those children who are troubled by depression are often because of the lack of a positive atmosphere at home. In the final analysis, there is something wrong with their parents' education.
"High pressure management" will make children depressed
variety show " teacher please answer ", 6-year-old girl Kexin was highly expected by her parents since she was a child.
Kexin has become a "frequently" in extracurricular classes since she was 3 years old. She started to study first-grade courses at the age of 5 and started to come into contact with financial management at the age of 6. She has no happy childhood that ordinary children should have, and the time plan is refined to every minute.
In order to meet mother's expectations, Ke Xin, who is only 6 years old, acts extremely obedient and never disobeys any of her mother's requirements.
can be under this "pathological" high-pressure management. Kexin's spiritual world is extremely poor. She thinks every day about how to achieve the goals set by her mother and become the "perfect" child in her mother's heart. The huge pressure makes her breathless, and she said, "I am not happy."
We often say that parents love their children deeply. In fact, children will do everything they can to make their parents happy and strive to achieve their expectations for themselves.
But if parents implement high-pressure management of their children, although their children seem to become more and more excellent and master skills that are difficult for their peers to master, their hearts will become further and further away from their parents.
Over time, under tremendous pressure, the child is squeezed by negative emotions and cannot vent it for a long time, which can easily cause mental health problems and even develop into depression.
Parents' emotional neglect will make children depressed
I remember that a topic last year hit a hot search, called "Tell my mom after I have depression."
After suffering from depression for 7 years, this netizen couldn't help but have suicidal thoughts. In desperation, he asked his mother for help, hoping to get a reason to continue living.
But when she mustered up her courage and finally spoke, her mother answered question-lookingly: "You have always been like this. How many years have you been? Can't you bear it yourself?"
The girl couldn't believe it, but when she thought about it carefully, it seemed that everything was reasonable - after all, her mother never paid attention to her emotional needs.
There is a word in psychology called "existential anxiety", which means that when parents have an indifferent and perfunctory attitude no matter what the child does or says, the child will feel that he has lost his presence and feels that he is "not loved".
The reason why many children suffer from depression or tend to be depression is directly related to their parents' emotional neglect. Parents' indifference makes their children suffer and continue to develop towards depression.
Avoiding children's depression. Parents must complete two "tasks"
Yin Jianli In the book " The Most Beautiful Education Easiest ", Family Education has two key "tasks":
The first task is to be close to the children and protect their growth;
The second task is to separate from the children and promote their independence.
The so-called "intimacy" means not ignoring the emotional needs of children, always meeting their needs, and making them feel respected, cared for and loved.
And "independence" means withdrawing from the child's life in a timely and appropriate manner, giving the child a certain amount of freedom, treating the child as an independent individual, so that he can truly become the person he wants to be, rather than the child his parents hope.
The key to avoiding children's depression is to complete these two important "educational tasks" and try to create a good growth environment for children, which can not only meet the emotional needs of children, make children have a sense of existence, but also keep an appropriate distance from children, so that children feel comfortable and relaxed.
Only parents can guide their children to form a positive and healthy personality and find a better family education method that suits their children, so that they can grow up happily and avoid anxiety and depression.
Lao Miao Conclusion:
It is reported that people who have experienced negative experiences in childhood have a 4 times higher probability of suffering from depression than those who have not experienced it.
As parents, we must always pay attention to our children's mental health, don't ignore our children's emotional needs, complete two "educational tasks", and accompany our children's growth with just the right love.
Today’s topic: What do you think will your child have depression?
I am Lao Miao - a super dad born in the 1980s and the most eye-catching male head nurse in the hospital. Welcome to discuss the issue of pregnancy together, please pay attention to Lao Miao.
