Original illustration: Meow Meow Xia, narrated: Yuan Yuan, female
01
Some time ago, my husband Li Yang took me to the movie " Hidden Dust Smoke ".
The video started less than ten minutes after I started, and I began to cry silently. For me, a life like
is too substitutable. I also have the love and pain like
.
However, fate gave me the same beginning, and a person appeared and quietly rewrite the ending.
02
My name is Liu Yuanyuan. I was born in 1993 in a village below Baise, Guangxi.
My parents gave birth to five children. I am the third child, with my brother and sister on it and younger brother and sister on it.
You can tell by looking at the family configuration that my family is very poor and can’t bear to lose the blame.
Some people will definitely ask, why do you have to give birth to so many people so poor?
I have no way to explore what purpose my parents are. Perhaps the poorer people want to have more children and have more blessings.
When I was a child, my mother often encouraged her family: "People will not be poor all their lives. As long as they are not lazy, they will live a good life one day."
At that time, my parents and grandparents separated from each other, and there was no land to plant in the village, so they could only take us into the mountains to cultivate.
The impression of childhood is always constantly doing farm work, washing clothes and cooking, and taking care of younger brothers and sisters.
The mountains are poorer than in the villages, and there is not even electricity. We sleep when it is dark and get up to work when it is dawn.
day after day.
03
Although childhood was very hard, our family was really happy.
My parents have no money, but they give us love and hope.
Because of poverty, my brothers and sisters and I were both late in school and only returned to the village to attend elementary school at the age of eight.
My parents continue to stay in the deep mountains to earn hard money for us to study.
Parents are not around, so we grow vegetables, cook and take care of ourselves.
Dad sends firewood and rice back once a week, and he reminds us to study hard and not cause trouble.
Around 2002, our family finally built a red brick house, and my father also dug a well.
After that, my brother and sister had separate rooms and a utility room at home. Finally, I didn’t have to live in that leaky old house.
finally saw a trace of hope.
04
In 2005, my brother graduated from a vocational high school in Yulin and went to Dongguan to work.
The brother was 19 years old that year. He had a talent for painting, but unfortunately the family was too burdened and he did not train him on the road of professionalism.
During the summer vacation, my sister and I followed my brother’s footsteps, went to Dongguan to work in summer vacation work, and worked as assembly line workers in toy factories.
In those two months, we earned 600 yuan per person. The first time we got so much money, I was really happy and felt that we could respect our parents.
However, everything ended in the second half of that year.
Dad is sick and has kidney disease.
Someone in the family is sick, and it’s really like spending money.
My brother's salary is just a drop in the bucket. After spending all the money, my mother can only sell the valuable things at home and borrow them from relatives.
When borrowing money, I was often greeted by others and ridiculed.
Once, a relative from a distant faced my mother in front of us, saying, "Your husband is so sick that he can't get out of bed, and he dares to borrow money. When your husband dies, can you orphans and widows still afford it?"
The words of relatives are very vicious, but they are also a naked reality, especially in rural areas, poor people are the source of all sins and the reason for bullying.
My sister and I both want to drop out of school and go out to work, but my brother disagreed. He said that girls do not have diplomas and can only work as turnover workers when they go to work.
He is a man, he will take care of this family. How can I bear
05
?
is nothing more than working one more job.
But there are patients at home and four younger siblings who are studying, life is really hard.
Of course, suffering also made us grow up overnight.
My sister and I went to the factory to work during the summer vacation. While taking care of our father at home, we helped our mother do handiwork.
But the money I earned was just enough for our next tuition and living expenses.
In the summer vacation of 2007, my sister and I worked in a shoe factory in Dongguan. One day it rained, and my brother came to us. He told us with red eyes that my father was almost out of reach, so he asked us to go back quickly.
I can’t believe it. The night before yesterday, my sister and I called home. My father answered it. He also said that the longan at home was cooked and asked us to go back and eat it early.
That day, my brother took us home non-stop, but it was still too late and I couldn't see my father for the last time.
That year, my father was only 49 years old and was in his prime.
Doctor said that his disease is so exhausted.
Mom told us that my father didn't want to treat him in the later stage of his illness. He was afraid that he would owe a lot of debts because of the treatment, and even more afraid that his children would not have any books to study.
We cried together, wondering how fate would treat us orphans and widows in the future.
06
After my father passed away, I thought I had no chance with school since then.
Unexpectedly, my brother borrowed money from a worker, and contacted his junior high school class teacher and insisted on sending me to junior high school.
My sister has graduated from junior high school. She is reluctant to continue studying and says that she is not a good source of study.
In fact, she just wanted to leave the opportunity to study to her younger brother and sister.
What's more, after my father passed away, my mother began to get sick again.
When I was in the second year of junior high school, my mother suffered from hyperthyroidism. Not only did she lose weight, but her mental state became worse and worse. She often told us in great depression that she missed her father and wanted to go and accompany him.
Mom even sent me and my younger brothers and sisters separately to my uncle's house without telling it.
I don’t want to live a life of being under someone else’s roof. I am afraid that my mother will really die and don’t want us anymore.
Who in this world, except for parents, will he really cherish us?
07
That year, I wrote a long letter to my mother. In the letter
I begged my mother not to die and not to give up on us, saying that we have lost our father and can’t lose our mother again. I also told her that when I was a child, no one cared about her fainting from hunger.
Moreover, if my father is still here, no matter how hard he is, he will not let his children go to other people's homes to make a living.
I don’t know if my letter touched my mother or if she really wanted to do it. After that, my mother began to cooperate with the treatment.
Mother’s cheering up is our heart-wrenching agent.
In the countryside, what is more terrifying than poverty is the bullying around you.
We don’t have a father, and anyone in the village can bully us and laugh at us as children without a father.
There were even people who broke into the house while my mother was working in the field and forcibly molested me. If it weren't for my younger brother and sister coming back, the consequences would be unimaginable.
And I dare not tell my mother these things, for fear that she can't stand it.
From then on, such a scene became the deepest hidden disease in my heart.
08
In this environment, my grades are naturally not much better.
When I arrived in the third year of junior high school, I was fine in addition to liberal arts, but the science subject was completely defeated and I couldn’t get into high school at all.
I am under a lot of psychological pressure. I have insomnia every day and don’t know where the way forward is.
At that time, my brother was already married, and my sister-in-law was his junior high school classmate.
Speaking of sister-in-law, she is really a fairy-like existence. It is a ray of light that illuminates my miserable life after my father passed away.
After my sister-in-law knew about my situation, she often wrote to me, encouraged me, and sent me a lot of books to me, asking me to read more, be optimistic, and also enlightened me on various problems I encountered during my adolescence.
Despite this, I still failed to get into high school.
09
3 In 2010, I graduated from junior high school.
My brother and sister-in-law agreed and decided to send me to a technical secondary school and learn accounting.
Brother said, let me study hard and he will solve the tuition fee.
I cherish this opportunity to study very much. I have been in the technical secondary school for three years, and I have won scholarships every year and awards for accounting majors.
In 2012, I took the accounting qualification certificate and finally lived up to my brother and sister-in-law's painstaking efforts.
When I graduated from the technical secondary school, my grades could have continued to go to college, but at that time my nephew was born, and my younger brother and sister had to study, so my brother was under too much pressure.
I can't continue to be my brother's burden.
Between going to school and working, I chose the latter.
10
During this period, I met my first love and we are alumni.
In 2013, we went to Shenzhen together. Our first love entered BYD , and I joined a mobile phone company as a clerk.
After working, we signed up for the self-study exam as soon as possible. We were either studying or on the road to learning on weekends.
The first love at that time was the boy who only saw me, and there were responses in everything and explanations in every matter.
We agreed to get a marriage certificate after the age of 22.
However, a lot of things happened during this period. First, my sister was bullied by her classmates in her hometown and suffered from serious mental illness.
First love and I went back to my hometown with me and took my sister to Shenzhen for treatment.
At the beginning, he also helped me take care of my sister.
Later, it gradually changed.
People who used to share everything with me began to dislike all kinds of dislikes, and even had many secrets that I didn’t know.
At that time, he would often disappear for some time inexplicably. When he came back, he would either be injured or ask me for money.
I asked him what he was going to do, but he kept silent and told me not to ask, but there was no answer after asking.
From 2013 to 2015, our lives are in a state of no money and hopelessness. If people have no money, they will naturally not mention marriage.
My salary is used to study and treat my sister. During this period, I went to junior college, took the accounting certificate, and then went to undergraduate.
First love is smarter than me, but his mind is not on this at all.
is addicted to games all day long, and even has a "wife" in the game.
When I found out, I collapsed, and his explanation was to make money.
First love said that he called the other party’s wife because he wanted the other party to buy him game equipment.
At that moment, my first love died in my heart.
Although I am poor, my values have never deviated from the track. My parents, brothers and sisters-in-law educated me very well.
My mother once told me that men can be poor, but they cannot have bottom line.
My sister-in-law also told me that men cannot forgive whether they are mentally cheating or physically cheating. Forgive one time is a compromise countless times.
So, I chose not to delay the trouble and break with him.
11
Story Having said that, it's time for Li Yang to appear.
He is the admissions teacher of my class training institution.
So, I was deeply impressed by me and my first love, especially me, and I think I am the kind of person who is super hardworking and motivated. After getting to know him slowly, I introduced the student to him, and he would invite me and my first love to have a meal every time to show his gratitude.
After I broke up with my first love, for more than half a year, I was not in a state of state for anything I did and made frequent mistakes at work.
At that time, my brother and sister went to Yunnan to do business, and my mother also went there. My family meant that I hope I would go to Yunnan too.
But I don’t want to leave Shenzhen. It’s not that I can’t bear to leave my first love, but that I think this city is more suitable for me.
Li Yang learned from other classmates that I had broken up with my first love.
He often chatted with me and enlightened me that when there was no class on weekends, he asked me and other classmates to go to the movies.
At that time, I was preparing for the intermediate professional title and often stayed up late to study. He bought me various supplements and even asked his parents to stew the soup for me.
Anyone with discerning eyes can tell that he likes me, but I have no intention of falling in love.
We have been together like this for nearly a year before Li Yang confessed to me and asked me if I would like to be his girlfriend.
He spoke very gently at that time: "Yuanyuan, you are from Guangxi, I am from Hubei, you will definitely have many concerns, but we are not in a hurry, the future will be long."
In fact, I was already moved by his gentleness and care, but I instinctively rejected the matter of falling in love.
Li Yang did not urge me to reply and treated me well as always.
About two more months passed, and we naturally got together.
And some people who are lucky enough to encounter it are healing with a long flow of water.
12
Really decided to marry Li Yang because he went to see his parents.
Li Yang's parents are elementary school teachers and both work in Shenzhen.
That Mid-Autumn Festival, Li Yang took me back for a meal.
Before this, I confessed to my original family without any beautification.
originally wanted him to retreat, but he faced it and said that he would protect me well in the future.
At Li Yang's house that day, I kept observing his parents' reactions and patterns of getting along.
The result was not praised for being broken up, but instead he was stuffed with a mouthful of dog food.
His parents have a very good relationship. They have to hold hands when they go out to buy vegetables. When cooking, Li Yang's mother took the spoon and Li Yang's father was on the side. The two of them were talking and laughing.
When eating, his father kept adding vegetables to his mother, and kept saying, "Wife, you have the hardest today."
I remember that Li Yang's mother had a dish that was a bit salty at that time. Li Yang said casually, and his father immediately responded: "Your mother cooks things, no matter how salty they are. In such a hot day, we have to cherish so many dishes, otherwise your mother won't make them for us next time."
Li Yang's mother smiled gently from the side.
At that moment, I was extremely moved. This is the correct mode of opening love.
Two people are in a quota and quota. They will not shout you, and they will not dislike the food you cook will become salty or light.
When I left that day, Li Yang’s parents sealed me a big red envelope, which was equivalent to approving me.
I once wondered why Li Yang’s parents were so kind to me?
Li Yang told me that his parents are also from rural areas and have many brothers and sisters in their family. They have experienced the same suffering as me, so in addition to understanding my suffering, they are more empathetic.
13
On the contrary, it was my mother who knew that I was going to marry a Hubei native, and she was quite opposed.
After Li Yang found out, he called my mother and went to Yunnan to visit her. In short, he quickly used his high emotional intelligence to get the future mother-in-law.
My ex once went home with me, and my mother commented that "the boy was very cunning at first glance." After seeing Li Yang, my mother said, "He has you in his eyes and heart. I can rest assured if you marry me."
My mother is right. Li Yang has been healing me over the years.
Regarding my original family and the poverty of childhood, he would cry every time I said it.
Those sufferings and humiliations are diluted because his empathy and empathy are diluted.
14
Once, we chatted and talked about the existence of chocolate and cakes after 2010.
Li Yang felt very distressed. Since then, every day he came back from get off work, he would bring a piece of chocolate in his bag.
When you see fashionable snacks outside, he will buy them back for me as soon as possible. Sometimes, I think he is both like a husband and a father.
My parents-in-law also cares about me in all kinds of ways. They cook delicious food every weekend and call us back for dinner.
In the words of her mother-in-law, she only gave birth to two sons in her life and had no daughter, so she spoiled her daughter-in-law as her daughter.
Life is really hard, and their preference is redemption.
After marriage, I went to the hospital for a comprehensive examination and realized that I had been deficient in vitamin D and protein . The doctor said it was caused by malnutrition when I was a child, but the value was too low, lower than that of children today.
After Li Yang found out, he bought all the supplements recommended by the doctor and supervised me to take them every day.
In terms of diet, because my family was poor when I was a child, I didn’t eat meat a few times a year. After a long time, I felt a little nauseous after eating meat.
Li Yang simply learned to cook by himself and cook in different ways every day.
He often says that watching me eat meat and sleep is the greatest happiness.
You may not believe it. He would be moved to cry when he saw me eating meat in big mouthfuls.
In fact, before getting married, he was also a person who was indifferent to grains, but because he loved me and felt sorry for me, he turned himself into a super chef. His catchphrase was: "If I could meet you earlier, I wouldn't have let you suffer so much."
But it turns out that there will be such a person in this world, who is neither close nor wrong, but he wishes to bear all the suffering for you, hoping to present all the sweetness in this world to you.
15
Now, we have been married for two years.
Everything is fine except for no children for the time being.
Right, I was pregnant once, maybe because of my poor physical condition, so I naturally had a biochemical effect.
Li Yang was not in a hurry at all about having a child.
My parents-in-law have never given birth to me. They always remind me to raise my health and let my children go as far as possible.
Regarding those bad memories of childhood, Li Yang would hold me in his arms and encourage me to say it out.
He said he could not travel through the past to protect me, but he could face the past with me honestly and bury that past together.
For a while, I couldn't sleep well and always woke up from my dreams.
He patted me to fall asleep every night.
What's more funny is that he said that I lacked fatherly love too early and I have to give me a lot of love.
In daily life, he spoiled me and loved me, cut my nails and blew my hair, and said otherwise we would not have children and would raise you as a daughter.
The old father with a very daddy taste is actually just from 1991, just two years older than me.
I often think that God has made me suffer so much, just to let me meet Li Yang.
This is called the price of love.
Those hardships are exchanged for him, and I have made a lot of money.
16
people all say that Home of Goods will surely have good fortune.
This really makes sense.
Later, my brother opened a company in Yunnan and did a big business.
The relationship between my brother and my sister-in-law is also very good. I gave birth to two sons, and their experience is another inspirational life story.
My sister also settled her home in Yunnan. My sister's illness was cured and she gave birth to a baby last year.
Only the younger brother is not married yet. He is a workaholic and his biggest wish is to buy a house in Shenzhen as soon as possible.
My mother is now a health expert. She gets up early to exercise, then buys vegetables, and cooks for the employees of her brother's company.
Although the seven people in our original family are not in the same city, they will have videos every day, and their nephews and nieces will rush to speak. The only regret of family happiness like
is that my father is not present.
But he must be able to see, watch us in the sky and protect us.
And our family is another version of "Invisible Dust and Smoke".
I am not grateful for the suffering, but only for the family's gathering and all the beauty and goodness encountered in life.
When suffering comes from the sky, love will also reach the bone marrow. This is the meaning of family, lover, and life.
May all life be the wheat that has experienced the wind and frost, but full of love, unyielding, neither humble nor arrogant, and grows gently...
