When you are depressed, you inevitably think that you are worthless. The longer this state lasts, the more serious your feelings will be. How to solve this feeling of valuelessness? After reading the fourth chapter of " Burns New Emotion Therapy ", I got the answer:
1, the disadvantages of amplification defects
Someone exaggerated the tiny mistakes into huge personal failures.
For example: There is a first-grade elementary school student who is busy in class and is afraid of being asked by the teacher. When a person asks him why he is afraid, he says he is afraid of being ridiculed and looked down upon, which will lead him to feel that he is a worthless person.
If you are in a depressed state, you will feel that you are worthless and useless, and even instill your negative thoughts in your family, friends and doctors. Over time, they will be led by you and think that you have flaws.
When I was unemployed and at home, I always wondered what to do in the future, and whether I would starve to death? This also thinks of temporary unemployment as permanent unemployment. Thinking of you this way will make you more depressed.
In fact, in this society, as long as you don’t go to eat and starve yourself to death, you will basically not starve to death. Although it is difficult to make big money, it is still simple to make small money. No matter how bad it is, there is still a minimum living allowance to be obtained, and it is still too far away to starve to death.
2, Refusing to accept your sense of value
The characteristic of cognitive treatment is to refuse to admit what you say is worthless. When the author wants to guide the patient, he often asks: "You often say that you are bad and useless. Have you ever thought that you are right?"
Research shows that when you fall into a depressed state, your ability to think clearly will decrease, your observation ability will become weak, and you will be immersed in the hell of depression and cannot extricate yourself.
When you feel meaningless, you can ask yourself if it is meaningful to eat? Will you die if you don’t eat yourself? Your answer is that you will die. People always have the instinct to survive, and if you are hungry for a long time, you will instinctively look for food.
I once wanted to starve myself to death. At that time, I was completely disappointed and ran away from home without a cell phone, preparing to starve myself to death. After 6 hours of not eating or drinking, my thoughts began to fluctuate. I had already put the trash can and found a bottle of water inside. I didn't care whether the bottle of water was very dirty and drank it. In the end, I couldn't stand it, so I went to the police to find the police and went home.
3, a method to improve depression
3.1, a special method to enhance self-esteem - retort
retort
The first step is to record your inner criticism.
Step 2, figure out these ideas are distorted. Compare the 10 twisted thoughts in Chapter 3.
Step 3, retorts at these ideas.
I now look in the mirror and find that I have a little bit of big eyes. Sometimes I will blame myself deeply for this incident and feel that I am so ugly that I am scary. Use the three-column method to retort the psychological fluctuations caused by this defect.
The column on the left side of the subconscious thoughts (self-criticism):
"The eyes look like monsters, no one likes to make friends with monsters. I became so ugly that I dare not look at people and fear that others would laugh at me. When others met me, I would definitely laugh at me secretly."
The eyes are "Cognitive distortion" in the middle column:
"The eyes are monsters", which means that they have been labeled inappropriately.
"No one likes to make friends with monsters" is just too general.
"People will definitely laugh at me secretly when they meet me", cognitive distortion is a "jump conclusion".
The column on the right side of the body, defend yourself.
"The big and small eyes are still normal, at least not scary, it is definitely not a monster, Jack Ma is not ugly? It doesn't prevent him from being a rich man."
"No one likes to make friends with monsters", just go to work normally, make friends normally, and it is just a big eye, it does not affect work and make friends at all.
"People will definitely laugh at me when they meet me." Don't worry, others are not so time to evaluate your appearance, unless she is your girlfriend, others only pay attention to you They won’t care too much about your appearance.
3.2, accumulating disordered thought log
"Disordered thought log" is actually a tool to fight back against negative thoughts. Your goal is to record it when something makes you unhappy. For example, the "environmental column" records the event, subconsciously "record your thoughts at that time", and finally recognize the degree of distortion of these ideas and fight back against these ideas.
If you don't try to use this log, you will not make progress and will still be defeated by depression. If you spend 15 minutes recording these negative events and rational reactions every day, I believe that your depression will definitely be relieved.
I can feel the timing and trigger points of my depression every time, but I have never recorded these depressed emotions. In fact, there are many negative emotions in a person's day. I now agree with the author's ideas and prepare to start recording a list of negative emotions every day.
3.3, wrist counter to see monitor your negative thoughts
You can buy a wrist counter in a sports goods store to record your negative thoughts. When you find that you have negative thoughts, turn on the wrist counter, monitor your negative thoughts every day, and record your total score of the day before going to bed every day. After 10 days of monitoring, the score will be It also proves that your negative thoughts are getting fewer. Of course, the disordered thought log can be done together. The effect of the two is better when used together.
We will have a lot of depression in our hearts every day. If we don’t use this counter, we don’t know the existence of these depressions at all. With this counter, we will be alert every time the depression comes, and then we can remember it. Recorded in the disordered thought log. If you do this frequently, your mood will get better.
3.4, don’t be depressed when dealing with problems!
Nancy is a mother of two children. She received a letter from the teacher saying that her child had some problems in school. Her first reaction was to criticize herself and think she was a failed mother. Then she fell into this self-blame. Naturally, she could not handle her son’s problem in a state of self-blame.
How to solve it? The doctor first had to help Nancy fight back against the idea of “I am a bad mother”, and she labeled herself randomly. The correct idea is: “I don’t know what the problem is going on with the child. I have to communicate more with the child and find his problem. I should learn more skills in communicating with my children and don’t fall into self-blame in the future. "
Don't learn when you are emotionally unstable, don't do things. When you are depressed, you are prone to do more and more mistakes. Don't worry about anything. It's better to take care of your emotions. When you are in a better mood, you will do things.
4, write it at the end
suggest you accumulate your distorted ideas every day and retort this idea. This method of recording is irreplaceable because it exposes the non-logical thoughts that plague you in broad daylight. In this way, you can clearly know your thoughts and convince yourself to stop thinking like this with rational reactions.
