"You look so good!", "You are so awesome, you are efficient in your work, and you do well", "Congratulations on your promotion and salary increase", when you are affirmed, appreciated, promoted, or you achieve a certain achievement, what are the thoughts in your mind? How do you usually react?
In the process of growing up, some people never realize that they have expertise and done well, and when they receive praise, they look shy, embarrassed and embarrassed. This group of people has one thing in common: others can see their advantages better than them and are more willing to give them opportunities.
At this time, many people will have the idea that "humility is a virtue" flashes through their minds, but are you humble or fakes syndrome?
1. I don’t deserve it/I deserve it
The biggest feature of the hypocrite syndrome is that when you are praised or successful or happy, a feeling of "I don’t deserve it" arises in your heart, "Can I? Am I qualified?" and other self-doubt voices continue to linger in your heart.
Relatively, facing the same situation, the confident modest people are "I know I must have shortcomings and need to learn more, but I also believe that I already have some important qualities or abilities", so they feel more worthy of it and worthy of all this.
2. Fortune/Term
My friend A received many blessings when he was admitted to the public teacher. Most of them said to her: "Congratulations! It's amazing to pass the exam as soon as she graduated!", and she always replied subconsciously: "No! I'm just lucky", until she really received too many congratulations, and people she knew and didn't know congratulate her. She began to wonder, "Is it really just luck? I'm obviously working hard, right?"
Do you always attribute your achievements to external luck, timing or appreciation from others? A confident and modest person not only knows how to thank the external environment, but also knows how to see and affirm his efforts and efforts. He firmly believes that the results are achieved both internally and externally!
3. Fill/Yuyun
The unconfident impersonator is always feeling like hell when he takes the post and takes the lead. He has already achieved good grades in work or studies, but he feels that it is nothing. He has been living in the shadow of "not enough", and always strives to fill his calendar, fearing that he will be surpassed by others once he stops.
In contrast, confident modest people may also have a full schedule, but they feel fulfilled, excited, and satisfied, and still retain the lingering charm. They have time and space to take care of themselves, and regard this as an important thing.
Confident modest people and unconfident impersonators often look very similar in appearance, but their inner states are completely different!
If you think you are more like a fake after a preliminary self-evaluation from these three aspects, you can start by "paying attention and adjusting your language".
is like facing praise, and the habit is "no", you can practice changing to "Thank you" and accept the other party's affirmation; facing challenges, the habit is "I can't do it", you can practice changing to "I'm not doing well now", believe in the importance of hard work, see the current limitations, and learn or ask for advice; facing setbacks, you can practice changing to "I'm useless" by "I'm not very good at this", so that you know that you are not completely inadequate or bad, but that each of us has its own expertise and things that we are not very familiar with.
That year, after A said countless words, "I'm just lucky", and wondered that she was working very hard, she received a lot of congratulations one after another. The day before she started working, the administrator who had first met said enthusiastically: "Congratulations! You are so amazing, there are so many wandering teachers outside!" She changed her previous response and said: "Thank you! I'm really hard! I really encountered a good opportunity."
