The causes of narcissism begin in childhood and multiply with age. The basis for an exaggerated view rests on multiple fronts simultaneously, and it is difficult to single out one. However, psychology is familiar enough with this feature of personality to briefly describe the nat

The causes of narcissism begin in childhood and multiply with age. The basis for an exaggerated view rests on multiple fronts simultaneously, and it is difficult to single out one. However, psychology is familiar enough with this feature of personality to briefly describe the nature of what is going on.

It is important to note that narcissists suffer themselves first and foremost, these people are often burdened by psychological defense mechanisms, but the obvious victim is always someone who is forced to be around them for some reason.

First of all, these are children and of course partners in relationships. Even getting to know a narcissist can be an ordeal at times, but living together can easily turn into an ordeal.

Self-Esteem Enhancement

Meeting people with sufficient self-esteem is quite difficult because the concept itself contains two parameters at the same time. One's own feelings and objective feedback. The first is caused by beliefs, experiences, imposed opinions, psycho-emotional trauma and shock. The second is given by others through feedback, evaluation, and other forms of communication.

The problem with narcissists is that the opinions of others are their primary indicator. But praise is never completely satisfying, because there are no limits to perfection, and its absence becomes the hardest blow. As a result, the mind finds salvation in narcissism.

They view positive comments as confirmation of their superiority, while negative comments are immediately sent to the basket known as "jealousy and idiocy." All this is because of a major reliance on internal self-esteem.

It was carefully tuned by a significant adult. This happens in two ways. First of all - the child is constantly told that he is beautiful, clever and intelligent. Everything he did was a masterpiece. You are the best! Handsome, well done, my smart girl.

The second is the negative comments adults make about him and others. Mom or Dad may view others as unworthy, mediocre, and distorted because of complexes. They tout their pride or look for ways to salvage their low self-esteem. They talk unceremoniously about friends, acquaintances, relatives, strangers.

Future narcissists "jump" over the course of education from overprotectiveness to complete apathy and depreciation. Either the mother is loving, the father is emotionally abusive, or one parent combines this instability. The child is on the swing. He was a genius before, but now "you have not reached your limit", "you should be the first", "you can't do anything",

Often, inflated self-esteem is the result of a lack of critical thinking. A person does not try to see a situation from different angles, cannot analyze a large amount of information, and therefore develops the habit of assuming a comfortable position without unnecessary work on the psychological side. Many patterns emerge. Naturally, this leads to a reluctance to admit failures and defeats, which are always explained away by the machinations of outsiders.

Unexpected, Undeserved Success

Sometimes without success itself, parents are enough to motivate a child that he is the best. Anxious parents worry about their child, making him fall into overprotection, and in order to somehow explain this control and these prohibitions, they constantly speak negatively about others.

These guys only want one thing, these guys are bad, there are only fools on the street, you have nothing to do there. You deserve the best, this is not your level, you will have it all! Children in this condition are isolated and unable to fully assess themselves.

In adulthood, they can see certain things as confirmation of their beliefs. We had a good job and there were a lot of people around us who were barely making ends meet. Nature has given us a charming appearance, and there are many "such selves" among the people around us. He entered a prestigious university - vocational school with the background of his classmates. Married to a rich man while a neighbor is fighting the plumber in her housing office.

But all this does not divide people into good and bad people. Our success is affected not only by ability, but sometimes also by luck and parameters beyond our control, such as appearance. Sometimes we are in the right place at the right time.One day it will collide with reality. Sigmund Freud believed that this happens the moment a child leaves overprotection.

But today, a growing number of psychologists agree that this may happen much later. Relying on the recognition and appreciation of others allows you to strive to be your best and pursue excellence, but the words of your parents are no longer enough. Every day you see life divided into thousands of areas, each with its own leader. And someone's husband is richer, the squares on their belly are smoother, their apartment is bigger, their career is more interesting.

This is where the worst damage happens. It is impossible to rely on external self-esteem, because others do not recognize the exclusivity, ideality and absolute superiority of . They are usually critical or limited to a neutral attitude. But inner self-esteem allows you to protect yourself from reality through the perception of compliments, while ignoring and belittling negative comments. If you don't think narcissists are the smartest and most talented, then you're just an idiot and a pathetic jealous person.

It’s worth noting that narcissists themselves often feel like nothing. Generally speaking, these unstable people sometimes outperform everyone, think they are not so bad, mediocre, stupid, and then fall into depression. Indeed, once this happens, the psyche kicks in to protect itself and soon the narcissist is "the best" again.

Missed Self-Realization

Over-guarding is characterized by the child being protected from his own hobbies and hindering the development of his talents. Parents only allow things that do not cause them anxiety. As a result, a person skips the stage of self-realization and is forced to do what is imposed on him and even succeed in it.

Because, on the one hand, they motivate him with exclusivity, and on the other hand, their constant devaluation makes him seek that kind of perfection, the level at which you can escape the pressure of your parents.

But a collision with reality will happen one day. It's impossible to be the best without being comfortable, but you can't get into your own. The dependence of the mind on defense mechanisms is undergirded by the great dependence on external recognition, where one seeks at least dependence on something, one demands recognition of his superiority in this regard.

Negative Consequences of Narcissism

Children are attacked and they are forced to acknowledge their parents' exclusivity through emotional abuse. This is accomplished by imposing one's opinion, belittling others, and feeling helpless without it. Narcissus tried to make sure that without him the children would not survive and everything would go against them, and no one could do it without his advice and help.

In relationships, such people act as if they think they are ideal. However, in reality, it is all a defense and a person is constantly on edge. Bragging and establishing communication from top to bottom is just a signal. Without recognition, it will be difficult for him to survive and even harder to earn.

In difficult moments, they can betray, leave, leave, just to make you understand that without him, your world will collapse. A narcissist will give his self-esteem a slight boost if someone gets into trouble without his help. After all, he told you so! "And in general, it's time to admit that you are all mediocre and stupid, hold on to me, I alone know how!"