This generation is facing an unprecedented era of anxiety.
When I comb my hair in the morning and see the fallen hair all over the floor, I will feel anxious;
When my colleagues are called to the office by their boss, they will feel anxious;
When they watch the news popping up one after another, they will feel anxious.
The manifestations and feelings of anxiety are complex: anger, disappointment, despair, powerlessness, frustration and even confusion... They are all telling our bodies:
I am anxious
I am very anxious
I am anxious to death
Continuous anxiety will It brings a strong sense of internal friction: I feel like I am dying, my brain can’t function at all, I can’t eat or sleep—every physical feeling seems to be dragging me down into the abyss.
Today we want to talk to you about how to deal with "anxiety". The article is a bit long and may take you a long time to digest. It is recommended to save it first and then read it.
Don’t panic, it’s normal to feel anxious.
When faced with potential danger or uneasiness, our nerves will automatically enter a state of alert: Adrenaline surges instantly, making the heart beat faster, palms become sweaty , and the reaction speeds up, preparing for the threat. Be prepared for the “fight or flight” moment. This is anxiety.
From the perspective of human evolution , the physical reaction that occurs when we are anxious is to help us concentrate and improve our physical skills.
Unfortunately, many people ignore the warnings behind anxiety. They only deeply feel the discomfort caused by anxiety and regard it as a harmful emotion that needs to be completely avoided or eliminated.
This kind of resistance will cause the brain to regard the anxiety itself as a threat, causing more anxiety and discomfort.
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When anxiety appears again, you can try to say to yourself:
It’s okay, I can be anxious, although it is a bit uncomfortable, but it is normal.
Tell yourself: things are actually not that bad
Our brains are like fountains, producing all kinds of thoughts every moment.
When we feel anxious, the brain's attention is biased. The thoughts it focuses on are more likely to go on about "how real the danger is" or "how bad the situation is."
When we are in the whirlpool of anxiety, we often regard these biased ideas as all facts without thinking.
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Next time, when bad thoughts such as "It's finished", "Too bad" or "It's hopeless" appear again, you might as well think about it more:
My brain is playing specific What idea/picture? What is a more realistic situation? How different was it from the worst-case scenario I had imagined in my head? How can I make myself more comprehensive and objective?
03 Anxiety has levels, please judge your own level of anxiety.
Anxiety is an emotion and a subjective feeling.
Anxiety itself is not right or wrong, and everyone feels it differently. What we need more is to feel our own state, judge the extent of our anxiety, and then take measures.
If we always ignore the discomfort caused by anxiety, the accumulation will eventually explode one day and make us collapse.
Anxiety that you don’t need to worry about
If the discomfort caused by anxiety distracts your attention and affects your thinking or actions, you can consider taking a 3 to 5 minute break and doing something relaxing.
Anxiety worthy of attention
If anxiety does not affect thinking or action, but you feel slightly uncomfortable (such as rapid heartbeat, tight throat), please focus on the most important things at the moment, and it will slowly calm down on its own.
Anxiety that requires active adjustment
If the discomfort caused by anxiety makes people feel that it is "about to exceed the tolerance limit", in order to prevent further deterioration, please stop the ongoing activities and seriously do some exercises that can effectively relax the body and mind.
Anxiety that must be paid attention to
If the discomfort caused by anxiety is unbearable and the whole person is "swamped", please stop what you are doing and try to interrupt your mood (such as blowing a cold wind, washing your face with cold water, Eat a lemon, etc.), and then use other methods that work for you to relax.
Think about it, how much time have you spent in these states in the past week?
If more than half of the time is the third or fourth experience, then your anxiety level may be relatively high, and it may be worth seeking professional help to adjust.
04 Breathe, take a deep breath, exhale~inhale~
That’s right! No matter what level of anxiety you are experiencing, breathing techniques can help relieve it.
The physiological reactions associated with anxiety are actually the result of muscle tension, and calm breathing is the simplest way to relax.
Please focus on your breathing and count each time you take a breath.
Image source: Zakuu Hailuo
You can follow the steps below to feel your breathing:
Close your eyes gently, focus on the physical sensation brought by breathing, and experience it carefully: such as inhaling When you exhale, the airflow slides through the nose, flows into the nasal passages, , and throat, filling the lungs. The chest gradually expands, and you feel the abdomen rise slightly; when you exhale, the abdomen slowly falls back, the thorax contracts, and moist and hot airflow pours out of the nasal passages. ...
You may find that your mind wanders from time to time. This is normal. You just need to gently bring your attention back to the physical sensations of breathing.
Continue to focus on observing the physical sensations brought about by breathing. You will find that the time you focus on the physical sensations gradually extends, and the inner restlessness gradually subsides.
05 Write down "things that can be done"
When we are anxious, we will have many questions: What should we do? What's the problem? How to eradicate it? The more questions you have, the more anxious you are because these thoughts are part of your anxiety.
Apart from questions, many people have never thought about it: What can I do at this moment?
In fact, as long as we start to think seriously and exactly about what to do, anxiety can be calmed to a great extent.
The simplest thing is to try writing down "things I can do now" one by one.
Even if you are faced with something that cannot be solved temporarily and you don’t know what to do, it doesn’t matter. Writing this anxious thing down can also relieve anxiety.
Yes, what anxiety fears most is - concreteness.
Try to make everything, every detail, concrete.
06 Find those things that you "can control"
Most people are anxious about uncertainty and things they cannot control. The opposite of anxiety is calmness, a sense of control, certainty, and security.
A basic fact that we have to face: in this world, we can only control part of ourselves.
We can't control what others think or how they treat us;
we can't control the weather or the harvests;
we can't control the direction of things or how wages go up.
We can only control what decisions we make and whether we take any actions within a certain range.
We can't control whether it rains tomorrow, but we can put an umbrella in our bag;
We can't control whether our boss loses his temper, but we can use a calm and persistent attitude to reduce the harm we suffer.
Try to take out a piece of paper, divide it into three areas, and write down "what I can control", "what I can influence" and "what I can't control" respectively.
This process is actually helping yourself to find a sense of security that you can control amidst the anxiety of uncertainty.
07 Concentrate and choose one thing to do
We always unconsciously focus on uncomfortable feelings. This uncomfortable feeling is like shining through a magnifying glass, becoming more and more intense and easily causing us to fall into a state of "not wanting to do anything."
Then choose one thing to do, just one thing, no matter how small it is.
When this thing starts, you will find that even if you feel very uncomfortable, you can still decide where to focus your attention - even if it is staring at the clouds passing by in the sky, memorizing ten words, or building a building block Toys...
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Some people may say that the discomfort will draw attention back to anxiety.
This is normal, let's focus on the thing we want to do again.
When we continue to gently return our attention to things, we can focus longer and longer, and the brain's misjudgment of "danger" will slowly diminish and eventually calm down again.
The next time the thought "I can't do anything" pops into your mind, try asking yourself:
What is the most important thing to me at this moment? Then focus on it again and again. When you start to focus, anxiety will naturally disappear.
08 Set yourself a small challenge and achieve it
Sometimes, strong anxiety comes from judgments such as "I can't do it", "This is too difficult" or "I can't do it".
These judgments may be based on facts. People will always encounter challenges that exceed their current abilities - "I can't, can't do it" is too normal.
But don’t deny yourself first, try to take a small step based on not knowing how to do it at all.
The following methods may help:
Split the task : We can split the task according to time length, task steps or processes until it is small enough that you say to yourself in your heart "No problem, I can do this level" to";
Do one thing at a time : Put aside the more to-do items that pop up in your head. If they are important but don't need to be done right now, write them down;
Start by sticking to it for ten minutes : Tell yourself "I only need to persist for ten minutes". If you can persist longer, continue naturally; if you can't persist after ten minutes, tell yourself "at least there is some progress", it is better to rest for five minutes and try again;
Rearrange the time : If you realize that you need extra preparation time, count the preparation time into the task time and leave yourself enough time;
Give up perfectionism : Keep reminding yourself to give up "must learn it completely" Or the idea of "to master it completely";
Ask the right person for help: Find someone who is willing to help you and can provide you with relevant advice. If you can't find such a person, first find someone who can help you find it. ta’s people/information platform.
No matter which one you do, please cheer for yourself.
09 Remember: Anxiety will definitely pass.
Persistent anxiety is often because we repeatedly check whether the anxiety has passed, which in turn puts us into a vicious cycle of anxiety.
Anxiety is actually a feeling that will eventually pass. It can pass even if you do nothing. Actively choosing "not to solve it" is also a solution.
I feel a little uncomfortable right now, but this feeling is not dangerous. I don’t need to run away from it, and I don’t need to solve it. I can gently allow it to exist while focusing more on what is most important at the moment. , my feeling will gradually get better.
Remember, all emotions pass, and anxiety is no exception.
10 Let yourself have a good sleep.
Restarting can solve 90% of the problems, and sleeping can also solve it.
When you are anxious, hormones in your body soar to a high level in a short period of time, stimulating faster brain response, stronger muscle strength, and accelerated cardiovascular transport... These activities will consume the energy stored in the body.
As long as there is consumption, there must be recovery. The more anxious you are, the more you should pay attention to the quality of sleep. If we don’t sleep well, our body is tired, and our ability is reduced, it will be more difficult for us to actively regulate our emotions.
research has found that a night of poor sleep may increase anxiety by 30%, and deep sleep is a natural medicine for anxiety and can reduce anxiety levels.
Perhaps when you lie in bed, anxiety will still make it difficult to fall asleep, so you might as well hint to yourself:
Now I need to rest. I can wake up and think about these things tomorrow; I can write down these few things that are particularly important and I am afraid of forgetting. / Write them down on my phone and I will think about them seriously when I wake up tomorrow.
And, if necessary, you can seek help from a psychological counselor or a doctor to prescribe some medicine.
I hope everyone can have good dreams tonight
After the restart, you will be a brand new you
(Don’t worry, we still have some useful information)
If you have mastered these techniques to combat anxiety
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References
[1] Eti Ben Simon, Aubrey Rossi, Allison G. Harvey, Matthew P. Walker. Overanxious and underslept. Nature Human Behavior, 2019; DOI: 10.1038/s41562-019-0754-8
[2] [US] Written by Edmund Bonn and Lorna Galano, translated by Zhang Yibei, "Coping with Anxiety: Nine Simple Ways to Eliminate Anxiety, Fear and Worry" , September 2017, Beijing Machinery Industry Press
[3] [Australia] Written by Ruth Harris, translated by Zhang Dingqi, "The Happiness Trap", January 2018, Beijing Machinery Industry Press
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