The middle stage of Nascent Soul - The worry of ignorance
As mentioned before, Buddhism is a big pit. Fellow Taoists must not study it in depth, but we have to say that many things in Buddhism are a bit "similar" to patients with mental illness. I was a completely different person before and after I got this disease.
Therefore, I have also gone further and further on the road of delusion. If you have experienced the realms I mentioned, in the end it will actually be nothing. It may have been here before, or it may be by your side, or it may be you.
You can search for "ignorance" online, and I will quote some here.
Ignorance means not knowing what one is thinking or doing.
When we are aware of thoughts and are aware of our own awareness, we do not have any judgment because we are also aware of our own judgment and non-judgment. (What does this sentence mean? I am now sick and have anxiety and depression, but I don’t know or find out what I am doing. I didn’t go to the hospital until my condition worsened. Later, after taking medicine and recuperating for a period of time, I became sick again. Sometimes I can realize that I get sick again, why do I have this kind of disease, I am so irritable and painful, it comes out of nowhere, I want to seek relief, etc. Finally, there is another awareness of what it is. , you will find that no matter how much you think and pursue, you are still in the circle. Only one day, you suddenly come to your senses, will you realize that the you before was originally you. I want to say that understanding these is very important for us. For neurosis patients, it is basically useless and may even cause misunderstandings. Whether it is lectures or training, they try a lot in the hope of a speedy recovery and relief from pain, but they go in the opposite direction. Whether you accept it when you are sick is up to you. No, all mental disorders are reality. You are already mentally disordered, and you still try to seek relief when your brain is confused. Unexpectedly, when you seek relief, you may actually be in a state of neurosis. It’s all in vain.)
Nan Huaijin said that meditating usually feels empty, phew! So comfortable! So clean! I saw emptiness! Don't kid yourself, it's a feeling created by your own mind and body. Some people even came to me and said, "Teacher, no! It fell!" I said, "What fell?" "That hollow one fell away!" "Isn't it funny? You can't cultivate emptiness. It doesn't mean that you are empty if you don't cultivate. It doesn't require you to cultivate. It's empty in the first place. I often say, don't think about emptiness. Why are there so many things? It's just delusion that empties you. ! Delusion is empty. You can't keep it even if you want to. There is no need to empty it. As the saying goes: "The fallen leaves in the autumn wind will pile up in disorder. They will come back thousands of times after they are swept away. Just sit back and let them take care of themselves." The ground turns to ashes.
(After suffering from this disease, your thinking will become slower and slower, your brain reaction will also be slower, and your understanding, memory, logical thinking, social skills, etc., will all be removed from the shelves. So you seem to have become a different person, and you can’t help but doubt me. How could this happen? This may be the reason why many neurotic patients like to practice Buddhism and are superstitious and even deceive themselves. It’s not that you have reached that state on the road of spiritual practice. Maybe it’s because you and I have reached that level of illness and can’t help but have delusional thoughts. Laugh at it, we are all mortals, we cannot become gods in this life, and we cannot take care of ourselves, so we should not expect too much, let alone "let go". If you don't ask for "let go" when you are sick, you might be able to see the flowers bloom tomorrow.) Where did
students come from? Where does death go? Who was I before my parents were alive? Is there really reincarnation after death? Is there me? I don't know any of this.
Secondly, we cannot control the comings and goings of our thoughts and emotions. We cannot be the masters of ourselves, but instead become slaves of our thoughts and emotions. Where do these delusions and worries come from? Is ideal ? Is it materialism? Is it physiological? Is it psychological? You can never figure it out yourself, this is ignorance.
(Like everyone else, I still don’t understand what ignorance is. If I don’t understand it, I don’t understand it. If I don’t understand it, I don’t understand it. If I’m sick, I’m sick. My thoughts and emotions fluctuate up and down. I just can’t control it. Suddenly and inexplicably. Here comes the anxiety and depression symptoms, that's it.For this reason, I am in pain, heartbroken, struggling, and working blindly to find relief. I can't control myself not to demand. I feel uncomfortable, so I have to beg desperately. If I could control it, I would definitely not beg, right? . )
Buddha said a word "watch", which means just watching, watching yourself struggling, watching yourself troubled, struggling and suffering. Looking at myself with anxiety depression and insomnia , any thoughts are useless.
Therefore, don’t cut off the pain. “Cut off” may not be what we understand. If you want to die, you must be alive. If you want to live, you must be dying. If there is no life or death, then what else are you asking for? You can ask for a marriage, and maybe when you wake up the next morning, a beautiful and handsome man will fall into your arms. Since you can't decide the unlucky thing yourself, then the idea of winning a big prize is exciting just thinking about it. Seeing as I go further on the road of delusion, let’s talk more about the pain of insomnia, anxiety, depression, and neurosis. Those bits and pieces of joy are not relevant to us. What we are studying is pain, and we cannot go off topic.
