Qianjiang Evening News · Hourly News reporter Shen Meng and
This is the growth psychology room:
About learning, I have something to say, come here;
There are a lot of life problems and there is nowhere to ask, come here ;
If you are confused about life, come here.
Psychological communication, parent-child relationship, policy interpretation... Welcome to ask (email: [email protected]), we will answer.
Special thanks for this issue: Teacher Wang Qi, Mental Health Counseling Station of Daguan Middle School
1. Everyone says that girls should be slim, but I gained a lot during the summer vacation. Did my classmates laugh at me when I started the school?
Hot Answer: You must have enjoyed a lot of delicious food during the summer vacation. Children entering puberty, especially girls, pay special attention to their body shape. Because the current mass media continues to release the message that girls are slim and fit the contemporary aesthetics. It is not so much that you are anxious because of gaining weight, it is better to say that you care about the evaluation of others.
You can first define "fat", is it over-normal weight, which affects health? Or do you use "skinny" to demand yourself based on the public's aesthetics? If it's the former, you need to use a scientific method to lose weight; if it's the latter, don't be too concerned. When facing malicious judgments from others, you have to bravely express your dislike. Although everyone’s appearance and body shape are indeed closely related to self-evaluation, popularity, and peer acceptance, "looks are the first impression, and temperament is a powerful force", with a strong heart, no matter fat or thin, you are beautiful .
2. I really like Xiao Zhan, Wang Yibo , especially the interaction between them in and out of the play, I feel so sweet, and then I knock this pair of CPs day and night, why is it so?
Hot Answer: likes to watch other sweet and friendly interactions,This is the yearning for a beautiful relationship. But you knock around day and night. Is it because you encountered the pressure of study and schoolwork in real life, and then projected your pressure into the CP, seeking a short-term escape?
suggests that you return to reality and handle your study and life well. Make a study plan and make arrangements for your life. Use part of the power of CP to live a good life, and you may be able to harvest more gifts from reality!
3. According to my plan, I can finish all the homework before the start of school, but my parents are always nagging and urging me to finish it quickly, which is so annoying.
Hot Answer: Parents are nagging, and to some extent it has some distrust and accusations. No wonder you are disgusted. Parents may not be good at or aware of the need to control emotions, and vent their dissatisfaction on you during the "excessive nagging". When you and your parents are in negative emotions, "head-to-head" will only make the parent-child relationship more rigid.
You might as well try to tell your parents about your plan to dispel their doubts. When communicating with parents, you can try to use "my message", such as "I feel very sad because you don't trust my self-consciousness in learning. According to my own plan, I can complete my homework before the end of the holiday. I hope you can do more Trust, give me more encouragement.” This expresses both emotions and needs.
4. My good friend is a "child of someone else's family". He is very good and our relationship is very good. Why can't I help being jealous of him? I am really a terrible person.
Hot Answer: Jealousy is a normal feeling or emotion. Such emotions are easily generated in the people around you, so don't feel that you are an unqualified friend just because you are jealous of your good friend.
When you realize that your friend is excellent and you are jealous of him, it means that you see the gap or difference between you. This is your motivation and role model for starting to act. And your strong friendship also provides convenience for you to ask for advice and inquiries.I believe your friends will help each other, congratulations on having such a good opportunity to improve yourself.
You can also ask your friends: "Why are we friends?" You can even discuss your jealousy frankly. Your friend will say a lot of precious qualities that you can't see yourself, and will accept your "cute" emotions because of his excellence. Among friends, honesty is a precious quality.
5. In a few days, I will become a junior high school student. I am a strange classmate and teacher. I am so nervous...
Hot answer: Congratulations on becoming a high school student NS. Middle school is a new world. Great changes will take place in life, study, or interpersonal relationships. You may have a sense of novelty that you have never experienced before, but at the same time, it will also be due to the new environment, the increase in disciplines, and the teaching and learning methods. There is a sense of tension after changes, and even the thought of nostalgia for the elementary school years. This is a normal psychological phenomenon.
You can first go to the new school to take a look, familiarize yourself with the campus, and improve your sense of security and belonging psychologically. You can also try to develop a schedule of work and rest to gradually adapt to the rhythm of life in middle school. You have to learn to use positive actions to ease your nervousness, choose a suitable way to express your feelings, and vent your emotions in a timely and reasonable manner to avoid emotional backlogs.
6. It is about to be in the third year of junior high school. My good friend is in a bad state due to excessive pressure. What should I do?
Hot Answer: You can perceive the emotional changes of your good friends. It’s really caring. The third grade of middle school is very important for every student. Parents have high expectations, study hard but fail to get the desired results, and interpersonal tensions will cause people to fall into a "high pressure" state. Excessive suggestions may be just some "reasonable but useless" words, so let your friends know that you are a person who can accompany him/her and listen carefully to him/her. When there is a safe outlet for negative emotions, it is alleviated by half.
In addition,Behind the pressure is a complex combination of multiple emotions. You can analyze these complex emotions with your friends, sort out an action plan to deal with these emotions, and classify their severity, and use practical actions to relieve the emotional pressure.
Of course you have to take care of your emotions. We are easily affected by the emotions of the people around us. We must establish the correct boundaries of interpersonal relationships, avoid the pressure of symbiotic emotions, and maintain individual independence.
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Source: Qianjiang Evening News·Hourly News
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