1. At night, my husband was getting ready to go to bed. As soon as he got into bed, he shouted: Wife, my son wet the bed last night and asked you to take out the quilt to dry it in the morning. Wife: Yes, I dried it... Husband: Strange, the weather is so good today, the quilt is

1. In the evening, my husband was getting ready to go to bed. As soon as he got into bed, he shouted: Wife, my son wet the bed last night. I asked you to take out the quilt to dry it in the morning. Wife: Yes, I dried it... Husband: Strange, the weather is so good today, the quilt is not even dried? Where did you dry it? Wife: Oh, put it on Moments!

2. One time my husband was waiting for me in a private room. I went outside the door and wanted to tease him, so I whispered outside the door: 306, the lady you called is here, open the door! Unexpectedly, the door next door opened, and a man came out and said to me: Come to my side when you are done!

3. Once I went on a business trip with a lesbian. Suddenly I remembered a dirty joke. Then she said to him: I thought of a dirty joke to tell you, but she just ignored me and turned around and walked away, what a shame. Then she waved to me in a corner: Come here, come here, come here. There are few people here.

4. I went out to eat last night, and I unexpectedly got into a fight with someone. The person slashed me with a knife. Fortunately, my girlfriend blocked me and gave me seven stitches. Friend: I really envy you for finding someone who dares to stand up for you. As for your girlfriend, you must not let her down! Is she okay now? I raised my right hand and said, "It's not a big deal. I'm going to the hospital now to change my dressing?"

5. The teacher is teaching about drug addiction.

Teacher: Students, we often drink coffee to refresh ourselves, but it is not appropriate to drink too much coffee.

Xiao Ming: Yes! You really shouldn’t drink too much coffee, I know this very well.

Teacher: Xiao Ming, please tell me how you feel.

Xiao Ming: Teacher, if I drink too much coffee during the day, I won’t be able to sleep in class.

Teacher: Get out!

6. When I went to a certain place, I met a beautiful woman who asked me if she wanted some service. She looked good and asked about the price. She said 300 and thought it was not expensive, so I went with her. When she finished, she told me it was 300. I was confused at that time.

She saw that I didn’t want to pay and called some tattooed men over. She had no choice but to pay 600. I was so scared after thinking about it that I almost went bankrupt.

7. My husband keeps playing with his mobile phone while riding the subway. Me: Husband, is it really okay to have a beautiful wife sitting next to you while you keep playing with your phone?

Husband: I just don’t think it’s appropriate to play with my wife in public places. . .

8. After all the storm, my wife: If you were in ancient times, you must have been a martial arts master.

Husband: Why?

Wife: The only martial arts in the world is fast.

Husband. . .

9. My colleague Lao Wang was happy to have a baby son and rushed to congratulate him.

When he went to the bedroom to see the baby, his wife happened to be breastfeeding the baby. You didn't shy away from me, and asked generously: You are so polite, and you came here to visit me. Have you eaten?

I blurted out: No, the children eat first, adults don’t worry!

10. I was just overtaken by a Ferrari . My wife asked, what kind of car is it with a horse on its logo?

I say, Ferrari.

Wife: Where is the cow?

me: lamborghini .

Wife: Where are the sheep?

Me: Dodge.

Wife: Where is the shit fork?

me:maserati.

Damn! It seems that all good cars are made by farmer brothers! Where's the bra?

mazda .

What about thongs?

hippocampus .

Where are the briefs?

Benz

What about sanitary napkins?

I said impatiently: That is Chevrolet !