1. Reporter: Uncle, you are over 80 years old, and you still call me my wife, my dear, how did you do it? Uncle: Don’t mention it. I have forgotten what she is called and I dare not ask.
2. Others are worried about how to make money, but I am worried about how to spend money. Friends, please give me some advice, how can you spend 20 yuan until the 10th of next month?
3. Seven years after graduation, I finally took on a big project to build a 30-meter chimney with a construction period of two months and a cost of 300,000 yuan, but I have to advance the funds. Finally finished at the end of last year. Today, someone went to inspect the inspection and was scolded to death and had no money to get it. Why? Hi! The drawings are reversed, and they want to dig a well!
4. One day, Ah Dai suddenly discovered that he had an aunt, a second aunt, a fourth aunt, but no third aunt. So he went to ask his father: Why don’t I have a third aunt? Did Aunt Third died when she was a child? His father said angrily: Your third aunt is your mother!
5. I wanted to ask a girl out that day. I had been planning for a long time before calling, but her father answered the phone. I was excited and said: Hello Uncle, is Aunt at home? I want her to come out and play. The phone was hung up directly.
6. There is a customer who always buys financial management here, and gradually I am with his daughter. On the day I met my parents, I thrust my mind and said, "Uncle, you will let me go this year, and you will be one big and one small next year."
7. On the first day of my marriage, my wife cooked two dishes. I was shocked to eat the first one. Is there anything more difficult to eat in the world than this? I cried when I ate the second one, and it really happened!
8. When I was a child, I was often confused. When I grew up, I would be better at Tsinghua , Peking University , or Fudan ? When I grew up, I realized that I was really thinking too much.
9. My husband was asleep and was beaten up by his wife. My husband was confused and asked his wife the reason. His wife: I dreamed that I was pregnant, you don’t want me anymore. Husband: Fool, dreams are the opposite. Wife: Then you mean I am not pregnant, and you don’t want me? After that, my wife beat my husband up again.
10.Q: Why can’t I find where disk D is?
Customer Service: Please open "My Computer".
I asked: How can I open your computer?
Customer Service: Please open your computer.
I asked: My computer is on!
Customer Service: What are you on your desktop?
I answer: There is a mobile phone, a water cup, and a half bucket of instant noodles!
11. That day, I took the bus and heard a conversation in a crowded and noisy environment. A young woman said: "Look at you, I don't even fart when I step on my feet." A man said calmly and slowly, "I'm sorry to step on your feet. If I fart at you again, am I still a human being?" Suddenly, there was a burst of laughter in the carriage.
12. My wife suddenly got angry and scolded me for some reason. I coaxed her for a long time before calming down and asked, "Do you know where you are wrong now?" I said angrily, "What do you mean? Can't you be scolded by you if I am not wrong?"
13. I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a very accurate view of girls. Any girl I have been chased by me will eventually marry a good family without exception.
14. I had a dream last night and dreamed that I was beaten by a group of people. I was frightened and then continued to fall asleep. I met the group of people again and said to me, do you dare to come back?
15. A person steals instant noodles while at work. After eating, he is anxious to eat gum. He accidentally swallows the gum. He is so worried that he is afraid that the gum will stick to his stomach and cannot be discharged. The colleague comforted him and said, "It's okay, it's definitely possible to be discharged, but I'm afraid..." The man asked in a hurry, "What are you afraid of?" The colleague said, "I'm afraid of a bubble popping up when farting..."