Smile for ten years~ Happiness is the most important thing! ↓↓↓1.Customer: When will your code be written? Programmer: Just get off work. Customer: Send an email when you are done. Programmer: OK. (The next day) Client: It’s almost noon, why haven’t you received your code yet? Di

Smile and you are young for ten years~Happiness is the most important thing! ↓↓↓

1.Customer: When will your code be written?

Programmer : Just be good before get off work.

Customer: After that, send an email.

Programmer: OK.

(the next day) Client: It’s almost noon, why haven’t you received your code yet? Didn’t you say you could send me the money after get off work yesterday?

Programmer: I haven't gotten off work yet.

2. The company organized a trip to Wutaishan . After taking the bus for a long time, I finally got off. Because I couldn't hold it in, my boss and I went to find a bathroom together. I was unfamiliar with the place. There was a master in front of me and asked: Master, is the grass house over there a toilet? Master: Except for that grass house, the rest of the place is a toilet! . .

3. Check the nephew to do his homework and see the word "cloud" is used to form words. I saw that he wrote " Jack Ma ". I originally wanted to say that I could not use the names to form words, but I asked you, "Jack Ma"? My nephew said that it was "dark cloud".

4. My nephew often asked me to wipe his butt when he went to the bathroom. Once I teased him. I told him that my sister-in-law wiped her butt every day. Should you give her a big red envelope when you grow up and get married? He replied: No! I will wipe your butt when I grow up. I. . .

5. Today my son wanted to go out for fun at noon, but I refused.
I said to my son: The weather is too hot, don’t go out.
Son: Is the weather really hot?
Me: Of course.
Son: Then I want to eat ice cream. You said you would give me some food when it gets hot.

6. Discuss with my deskmate Xiao Ming why it was so annoying that poets wrote so many poems in ancient times! Xiao Ming said: I don’t understand why you hate it to the core. Is it that scary? Anyway, I am the happiest thing to do when I take Chinese class, and I sleep very well every time!

7. Just today, I spent a lot of money to buy a big gold chain as thick as a little finger, which was snatched away by a motorcycle. Before I could call someone, the man who robbed my gold necklace came back and threw my gold chain on my face, and scolded me in his mouth: Don’t wear a gold necklace if you don’t have money, and disturb my work. I picked up the gold necklace I bought for 15 yuan, and I felt really uncomfortable.

8. "I personally think that according to the balance theorem of natural laws, the bulge must then be raised, otherwise the body will lose balance. You go to the street to find someone, there is no bulge and backward, nor does it have bulge and backward…" "This is the reason why you lift someone's skirt on the street???"

9. Some time ago, Xiaogang went to the supermarket, and two foreign friends on the checkout counter checkout were checking in front of Xiaogang. The clerk asked, "Can you speak Chinese?" Two foreign friends answered in Chinese: "If you speak slowly, we can understand!" The clerk continued, "Can...you...speak...Chinese?"

10. When I got home, my roommate stewed a pot of meat for me. Roommate: "For the sake of the meat I'm giving you, please tell you something, don't be angry, okay?" I said: "Don't be angry." Roommate: "I used your wife today." I said: "It's okay, just use it." Roommate: "The key is that I don't know that your wife is afraid of fire..." Me: "...Wait here, I'll get a knife."

11. Go to take the bus after work, a man and a woman are waiting for the bus in front of the platform, and there is 100 yuan on the ground. I was embarrassed to pick it up, so I stepped on it and wanted to wait for him to leave before picking it up! Seeing that buses were leaving like this, the two of them didn't leave yet. At this time, the man looked at me and said: Brother, the money was thrown by my wife when she was just quarreling with me. Don't step on it. We should leave. Look at the woman's forced smile and ten thousand deer flew over in her heart! I won't take you to play like this!!

12. A few months ago, my girlfriend ran away. A few months later, she came back, pregnant, and said in tears that he didn't want her anymore and asked me to accompany her to abort the child. I said I'll give birth to it, I'll raise it.A few months later, the baby was born and I ran away!

13. I went to work this morning. In the employee channel, our company's recognized goddess walked past me. I hit my buddy with my arm and signaled him to see it! Unexpectedly, the guy ran over and hugged her, turned to me and said: Why are you pushing me? I'll go, I must break up with him! !

14. Mumu complained to his friend Ye Ye: "The newly moved neighbors are so hateful. Last night, at midnight, I ran over and rang the doorbell of my house." Ye Ye said: "It's really hateful! Have you scolded them?" Mumu said: "No. I think they are crazy and continue to blow my little trumpet."

15. Xiaodong: "I fell in love with a girl, but I don't know what her shortcomings are." Xiaomei: "Oh, chat with her best friend, praise the girl's perfection hard, and then you will know all the shortcomings of the girl."

16. The wife suddenly asked her husband: "Do you love me?"
"Love! Of course I love!" The husband said without hesitation.
’s wife was silent for a while: “Are you afraid of hurting me?”
’s husband quickly said: “No, no, I said that I was afraid of hurting me.”

17. Not long after I got married to my wife, I paid attention to her figure. I was a little fat before getting married, so I often nag her.
One day she decided to lose weight, but finally with her unremitting efforts, she lost 20 pounds and she started crying.
I asked with a confused look on my face: Why are you crying? Isn't it good to lose weight?
didn't expect my wife to cry even more sadly: If I had known that I had lost weight, I wouldn't have married you!

18. Ye Ye and Xuexue went to the mountain to play together, and Xuexue accidentally fell off the cliff.
Ye Ye shouted anxiously: "Xuexue, how are you? Is there anything wrong?"
Xuexue answered in panic: "I don't know, I'm still falling down!"

19. Someone told me that the divorce rate in China is getting higher and higher. Last year alone, 9161645 people divorced... I am not picking, but shouldn't this be an even number? Can't figure it out.

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