1. My wife is usually very lazy, and I always take her to cook. Today I was sick. My wife suddenly said she wanted to make chicken soup for me to drink, which made me excited. As a result, she came with two bags of instant noodles. She said with great sincerity: I ate the noodles

1. My wife is usually very lazy, and I will take her to eat when I cook. Today I am sick. My wife suddenly said she wanted to make chicken soup for me to drink, which made me excited. As a result, she came with two bags of instant noodles. She said with great sincerity: I ate the noodles later. The noodles are not nutritious, and the nutrition is all in the soup!

2. Husband: "We are together, which is a perfect interpretation of the earth-shaking old saying." Fat wife: "What ancient saying?" The thin husband: "(I) is lighter than a feather, (you) is more important than Mount Tai."

3. Last night, my wife got up at night and suddenly heard my phone ringing. She suddenly became suspicious: Who calls in the middle of the night? Is there any ulterior secret? So my wife answered the call. A man's magnetic voice sounded: Hello, are you Xiao Ming? My wife casually answered: Yes! Man: Xiao Ming, I finally found you. I am your first love Xiao Wang. Do you still remember me? My wife has a difficult childbirth and requires 3,000 yuan in the surgery fee. Can you help me? My wife has already made up her past grudges against me, and she deliberately said loudly: My Xiao Ming is a serious person, and she will not have a first love like you. You can distinguish between men and women first, and then lie to others.

4. When the wife saw that the child was not having a good meal, she told the child: Good son, after eating this bowl of rice, my mother will reward you with 2 yuan. My son agreed, and then I pushed the door open and came in. My son quietly told me with a bowl: Dad, if you eat this bowl of rice, I will reward you with one dollar.

5. One day, I had a meal with my buddy, and the second guy just said that we were just boring.

I said, yes, it's meaningless.

He said, "Why would I call two girls to come?"

I agreed instantly. A few minutes later, his wife came with his daughter.

I...

6. An elderly couple is unwilling to cook. They decide who loses and who does it, and use objects in their lives as cards.

The old man took out a pair of hoes and put them on the table and said: One pair of seven; the old woman took out two gourds and said: One pair of 8;

The old man took out two eggs and said: One pair of eggs and said: One pair of tongs and said: One pair of pointed;

The old man grabbed two ducks and said: One pair of 2, the old woman hugged her grandchildren and put them on the table and said: One pair of little ghosts;

The old man hugged the old woman on the table and sat up and said: A pair of big ghosts. At this time, the old woman suddenly smiled, she farted and said: Bomb! Then the old man lost and went to cook.

7. Husband: "Thank you for praising me for being talented in front of your neighbors."

Wife said: "You have money but no money, no appearance but no status. If I don't say you have talent, others will be stupid."

8. My wife turned around and accidentally touched her left ear. She grabbed her ear and jumped in pain.

I hurried over and asked with concern: "How is it? Wife, does it hurt?" My wife looked at me and nodded in grievance.

"Don't be afraid! Be good, my husband will do it for you, and now listen to my husband. Come on, slowly take down your left hand."

My wife looked at me trustfully and slowly took down her left hand.

" Then gently lift his right hand and put it on his ear."

"Muick gently."

"Does it still hurt?"

My wife looked at me stupidly and said, "It doesn't hurt anymore!"

Several neighborhood women visited Lao Wang's house and saw Lao Wang's wife moving the furniture around while cleaning the house, which made her back and forth.

A woman asked, "Where is your old Wang? Why don't you wait for him to come back to move?"

Lao Wang's wife said angrily, "He comes back and lies on the sofa. Can I still move it?"

9. Today I asked my husband, why did I lose weight for so long? My husband tells me a method, you can try it too! This method is: eat rice with toothpicks and drink soup with chopsticks.