1. On the day of the wedding, my husband came to welcome me. Just as he carried me out of the house, my mother cried. My tears couldn't help but flow. I went back and hugged her and said, "Mom, I can't bear to leave you either!" My mother choked and said, "I finally got you out o

1. On the day of the wedding, my husband came to welcome me. Just as he carried me out of the house, my mother cried.

My tears couldn't help but flow. I went back and hugged her and said, "Mom, I can't bear to part with you either!"

My mom choked and said, "I finally got you out..."

2. Teacher: "Xiao Hu, your academic performance is so poor now. What should I do in the future? The teacher is really worried about you!"

Xiao Hu: "Teacher, how much is your monthly salary?"

Teacher: "Five thousand, what's wrong?"

Xiao Hu: "My parents have two villas and three factories, and their monthly income is several million. What are you worried about?"

Teacher: "Worry that you will never spend it in the future!"

3. Female classmate: "Let's not contact me in the future. I My husband suspects that we are two! "

Male classmate: "Old classmate, it seems that we have been adding friends for more than two years, and have never seen each other before?"

Female classmate: "That's good, I'm her husband. It seems you're okay, I'll try others again."

Male classmate: "Ah? What's the situation?"

Female classmate: "I was taking a shower just now, and my husband used my phone to test you. Fortunately, you didn't say anything."

Male classmate: "Don't joke, if you make trouble again, be careful that the boat of classmates' friendship will overturn!

Female classmate: "I'm still her husband, I'm confirming you're okay again, I'll try others again!"

4. I went shopping today and saw a pair of shoes that were pretty good.

Me: "Boss, how many pairs are there?"

Boss: "Two one pair,"

Me: "I'm asking you how to sell it?"

Boss: "How else can you sell it? Just put it on sale!"

Are you here to make fun of it?

5. Girl: "Dad, do you have any more horrible books for me?"

Dad: "There is a book that I bought for more than 20 years. It's so scary, so I rarely read it."

Little girl: "What book?"

Dad took out the marriage certificate for the girl...

6. I drank with a few buddies last night and came back very late, and my wife was a little unhappy.

Wife: "I go out with a group of friends all day long, and I don't care about my family at all."

Me: "Is this called brotherhood? Qin Hui has three brothers; Yan Song has a talented man Xu Wei flattery; Boss Li has a bald strong to work hard for him, can't I have a few friends?"

My wife gave me a blank look: "Qin Hui is the top scorer of Song Dynasty . Yan Song passed the exam at the age of 24. Boss Li has his own timber company. What do you have??"

Me: "Wife, stop talking, I'll go kneel on the washboard!"

7. Lao Wang: "Lao Li, come out to treat you to dinner in the evening!"

Lao Li: "Okay, I'll call two friends later and go together."

Lao Wang: "Do I know?"

Lao Li: "I don't know you, don't you know each other after meeting?"

Lao Wang: "I'll treat you to dinner. You can find two people you don't know, right? Otherwise, you'd better eat yourself, I won't go."

Lao Li: "Two beauties!"

Lao Wang: "Well, go out right away."

8. An old man went to People's Bank of China Withdraw money, he walked directly to the window. The security guard came over and said, "Uncle, count." The security guard said, "What?" The security guard said, "By the number." The old man thought to himself that he is worthy of being a big bank, and he still needs a secret code to withdraw money, so he whispered to the security guard, "The king of heaven is the earth." The security guard helped the old man to press a line ticket. The old man thought to himself: I'm scared to death, but I was fooled by me!

9. A buddy got married and arrived at the door of the bride's boudoir. He was blocked by relatives and friends to ask for red envelopes. The red envelopes on his body were stuffed, but he still refused to open the door.

The groom shouted directly inward, "Silly wife, this stuff is all our money..."

The bride heard this and ran to open the door!