1. At noon today, I accompanied my wife to the supermarket to buy vegetables. On the way home, the sun was too hot, and my forehead was sweating. It was really raining. I suddenly had a whim and asked my wife: "Do you know why I sweat on my forehead?" My wife: "Hahaha, that's bec

1. At noon today, I accompanied my wife to the supermarket to buy vegetables. On the way home,

The sun was too hot, and my forehead was sweating. It was really raining.

I suddenly had a whim to ask my wife: "Do you know why I sweat on my forehead?"

Wife: "Hahaha, that's because my brain has water, and it's all discharged now."

2. Husband: Where is it? When will you come back?

Wife: Do you want to care? Don't think that I will forgive you if I say good things to me.

Husband: Whoever says good things to you? Come back and bring me some food. . .

Wife: Why don’t you starve to death!

3. Two men were chatting. When a married man talked about a woman, he said, "Women love to act coquettishly before marriage."

The unmarried man asked, "Do you still love to act coquettish after marriage?"

The married man took a deep breath of cigarette, and said to the unmarried man with tears in his eyes, "After getting married, I started to act wild."

4. On the weekend, a business friend came to reminisce about the past. After three rounds of drinking, my friend said to me half drunk and half awake: "Brother, you have changed your house, your appliances, your car, and your wife should be replaced in the next movie, right?" I pretended not to hear it and quickly left the topic. After all, my friend was sent away, and my wife gave me an ultimatum: "You can not change the house, you can not change the appliances, or you can not change the car. You can not change anything, but you can change this friend first!"

5. "Do your wife have shortcomings?"

" Yes! Many are like stars in the sky"

" Then do your wife have many advantages?"

" Less! Less! Less! It's like the sun in the sky! "

" Then why do you love her so much?"

" Because as soon as the sun comes out, the stars are invisible!"

6. When I visited my colleague's house, the couple was quarreling. I persuaded me a few words and finally eased. I planned to leave. My colleague's wife took me a big bag of bananas and took them away. I said politely: Don't give them to me, leave some for Brother Wang. Her wife said: Even if you give it to the beast, you won’t give it to him. I said thank you and left. Now I think about it. Why is something wrong!

7. Wife: "Husband, if someone spends 10 million to buy me, will you sell it?" Husband: "Of course not!"

Wife was very happy and kissed her husband suddenly and asked, "Why?" My husband glanced at his wife and said with disgust: "You are not worth 10 million. I won't make such conscience-abiding money!"

8. The little earthworm was bored at home, so he cut himself into two pieces and went to play badminton.

The earthworm mother saw that it was good, cut herself into four pieces and played mahjong.

So, the earthworm father cut himself into meat.

When my mother came back, she looked and cried and said, "It will die if you cut it like this." Earthworm father said extremely weakly: There is no way, it’s Valentine’s Day, this is not enough to divide it. ?

9. When I was a child, I went to my grandfather's house. My grandfather's house was in the countryside, where there were many sweet potatoes, and I like to eat sweet potatoes very much. But I heard that when the countryside homes use sweet potatoes to feed pigs, I stopped working. I had to squat beside the pigpen and wanted to eat sweet potatoes, otherwise I wouldn't let my grandfather feed the pigs. My grandfather had no choice, so I fed me one piece, one piece of pigs, and one piece of pigs...

10. Girlfriend Sitting on the sofa toss the coin, she muttered to herself: "If it is thrown three times, I will lose weight." The first time was the opposite, she was calm: "It's okay, there is still a chance." The second time was the opposite, she was still lucky: "Fate won't abandon me like this." The third time was the opposite, she finally slapped the table firmly and said angrily: "My fate is up to me, not to God!"