1. The salary was paid. When my wife found out, she made me a delicious meal to reward her. After the meal, I went to the sofa. My wife started to snap her fingers and she kept snapping her fingers, but it couldn't be called. I said to her, "You're not fighting like that, look, h

1. The salary was paid. When my wife found out, she made me a delicious meal for me. After the meal, I went to the sofa. My wife started to snap her fingers, but it couldn't be called. I said to her, "You're not fighting like that, look, hitting like me." As I said that, I hit her loudly, "Don't pretend for me, I'm asking you for money, so I'll transfer the money to me." I...

2. On the bus, a beautiful woman stood beside me and asked me if I couldn't get to a certain place. I said, "Beauty, you're in a wrong place!"

0. The beauty stayed for three seconds and suddenly rushed to the driver and said: Master, your car is driving in the wrong way.

3. Today my friend sent me a text message: "I saw a beautiful girl on the bus, I sat on the stand." I replied: "How beautiful is it?" He said: "I have been to four stops..."

4. Go shopping with my boyfriend. After walking around for a long time, I was extremely anxious to urinate. I searched for a long time but couldn't find the toilet.

After a few turns, I finally found a toilet for disabled people, with the door not locked. When I was hesitating, my boyfriend

said, "Get in quickly! Brainlessness is also a kind of disability!"

and I went in...

5. It was not very busy all day, and a friend asked me to help and write a wedding invitation. I have been writing for a long time, but I feel something is wrong, but I can't tell where it is wrong no matter how I look at it.

At this time, my buddy’s wife came to see it and said, “It is impossible for us to change the name of the groom.”

I... It turns out that the groom's name is mine.

6. My best friend's leg was injured. I went to the hospital to see her. Her eyes were red and she said, "You have to see a man clearly. You must not ask for someone like my husband."

I was shocked: Did he hit the leg?

Best friend said hatefully: "Today he dared to hide, and I kicked the table on the leg."

I...

7. My roommate often doesn't take a shower.

That day I said he didn’t take a shower every day, but he said there was no one, I just took a shower on the 22nd.

That day was November 8

I...

8. I played chess with the old man in the community this morning, and I was a little nervous.

After taking the first step, the old man was silent for a long time and said, "Are you a novice?"

I was very surprised: "Uncle, how do you know?"

Uncle: "I have been playing chess for a few years, and there are not many handsome moves in the first step."

Me: "Don't you let the leader go first?"

9. I was tired of working today, and I was slow to go and didn't want to cook dinner.

My daughter looked at me seriously and said, "This is just like doing my homework. I have to write early and late. You have to do it early and late, and you can't run away. So hurry up and do it! Be good!" After

said that, he patted my shoulder seriously.

Alas! I can't argue.

10. The geography teacher asked, "Where is the river flowing?"

A student stood up and sang, "The river flows eastward!"

The teacher ignored him and continued, "How many stars are there in the sky?"

The student sang again, "The stars in the sky are simultaneous!"

The teacher was angry: "Get out!"

Student: "If you say you can leave, let's go!"

Teacher helplessly: "Are you sick?"

Student: "You have me and I have everything! "

Teacher: Get

11. The teacher is a bald man. Once in class, he said, "What if my left hand is positive and my right hand is negative, what will happen if my hands are held together?" My deskmate replied, "Your head will light up."

12. A classmate said that he always sweats when he sleeps, and he sweats all over when he falls asleep at night. He went to the hospital for examination several times but found no problem. He didn't drink a lot of Chinese medicine, and it didn't work, and it became more and more serious every day. Later, he said that he was cured. I was very interested and felt that he used some magic medicine. So he asked him how he cured it later, and he said, "I changed into a thin quilt."