1. Emphasize again: the body fat rate of pigs is only about 10%, and they have the same good figure as models and athletes. You are so fat and you say you are "fat like a pig". Pigs want to hit people after hearing this.
The body fat rate of seals is close to 50%. Please change your words in the future and say, "If you eat it again, I will be a seal. This statement is elegant and vivid!"
2. A beautiful girl added me, and after chatting for a few words, she asked me to send her a red envelope. I said unhappy: Why don't you go to the street to beg for food?
For a moment, she replied: I went there before, but later I found that the wind and sun were not good for the skin...
3. Two women in the office quarreled, and the manager couldn't bear it: "What's the argument? Tell me the reason!"
When the two women heard this, they rushed to each other.
"Enough!" The manager shouted: "Let's talk about ugly first!"
Suddenly the world was quiet!
4. A beautiful woman went to withdraw money at noon. After inserting the card, she found that the man behind her stared at her. She was so nervous that she didn't even withdraw the money after entering the password several times.
yelled at the man behind him, "What do you want to see? Do you want to rob?"
The man behind him was not showing weakness: "I just want to see how much money can you withdraw by inserting your ID card into it.
5. When he was in college, he wanted to chase the goddess, so his friend gave him an idea and asked him to sing a song down the goddess's building.
He was very inspired and called his second uncle and third brother that day.
That night, he played suona , his second uncle played erhu , his third brother played flute , and he played the scene down at the Goddess Tower. The scene... Until many years later, this scene was still regarded as the top ten classic scenes on campus.
6. A neighbor's child told him that he picked it up by the roadside and there were still 200 yuan in his bag.
0 The child cried after hearing this, and said while crying, he returned the two hundred yuan to me. !
7. The first time I went to my boyfriend’s house for dinner, his family was very friendly to me, but his dog rhubarb was very fierce to me.
I couldn’t understand it…
My boyfriend said that I used to have too many leftovers every day, and my mother thought it was a pity to waste, so she raised rhubarb.
You came and ate a table of dishes clean, it felt that you threatened it.
8. I changed my new number today and sent a text message to tease my girlfriend.
Do you want to know your fate with him (her)? Please reply directly to the real name of the two, and the consultation fee is two yuan.
collect it in one minute The text message is the name of my girlfriend and my brother...
9. I am single now! I have been working alone for many years, with assets of 35 million, living in a villa, a yacht, and three luxury cars. I am not asking for marriage here, nor showing off my wealth here, I just want to tell you
……
Give me another bottle, I can make you doubt your life. Before drinking, I am from Shaanxi, and after drinking, Shaanxi is mine!
10. At night, I was drinking happily in the bar. At this time, a friend ran in and asked, "Hey, why are you not at home with your beautiful and plump wife at this time? ”
He asked back, “Then why don’t you accompany me? "
The buddy said, "Because I didn't know you would be here! "
11. The son returned home tremblingly: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today."
Dad was very angry: "If you get a low exam next time, don't call me dad! ”
The next day, my son came back with the test paper: “I’m sorry, brother! ”
12.Admission: Master, why has my kung fu not improved?
Master: Have you seen geese flying over the sky when the sun sets in the sky 2 burning clouds ?
Admission: Have you seen
Master: What about the waves caused by the stones when they are thrown into the water?
Admission: Have you seen
Master: What about the reflection of the moon on the calm water?
Admission: Have you seen
Master: What about you to improve if you don’t practice qi?
Handle: You have seen these things all day long and you can do what you can make without practicing?
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