1. If you really don’t understand fatness, you will be ridiculed. What qualifications do you have to laugh at those who turn rice into meat? 2. At the dinner in the unit, the leader rarely praised me in front of everyone, saying that I was often late, so I got the funds for this

1. If you really don’t understand fat, you will be ridiculed. What qualifications do you, who have turned rice into shit, have you the right to laugh at the people who turn rice into meat!

2. The company had a dinner together, and the leader rarely praised me in front of everyone, saying that I was often late, so I had the funds for this event.

3. Whenever my friends around me are unhappy, I will advise them to look far and let the past pass. But they were always unwilling to give up and kept urging me: Pay back the money quickly!

4. My classmates talked about the English pass exam. He said he didn't have the ability to listen to it. I asked, "Then how did you do the questions? All of them were puzzled?"

He said, "The students behind me wrote loudly when doing the questions, and I heard his voice."

"Then do you know which one ABCD choose?"

He said, "A is three strokes, C is one stroke, B and D are two strokes, but D is written faster."

This is the real listening!

5. When I was a child, I saw someone carrying two ears of a rabbit. I asked my mother, wouldn’t the rabbit hurt like this? My mother told me that rabbits have such long ears to facilitate people to carry.

The sentence has been imprinted in my ignorant mind until one day, I saw a donkey! That day...I was almost kicked to death!

6. Boss Xiao Li likes to joke with his employees. Once, Xiao Li caused great losses to the company due to a work mistake. The boss talked to him and said, "You go to the finance department to pay this month's salary, and it won't be used tomorrow!" Xiao Li nodded, turned his head and walked to the finance department. Then the boss patted Xiao Li on the shoulder and laughed and said, "I just joked with you! You are still so serious! You have caused the company to lose so much money, and you really have the nerve to pay the salary. Get out of here now! Get out!"

7. My boyfriend Xiao Wang came to his house for the first time. My mother: I heard you often go on business trips? The boyfriend nodded: Yes. Mom: Oh... In this case, I really don’t feel at ease to marry my daughter to you. Boyfriend: Aunt, don’t worry, I will never do anything to sorry for her. Daughter: Mom, he is very honest and never comes blind outside! Mom: I'm talking to Xiao Wang, why are you fucking? Daughter: I will ask you to rest assured of him. Mom: I don’t feel at ease with you. He often travels on business trips, and you don’t know whether this or that. I’m afraid you will starve to death! Daughter:...

8. Female: "What are the conditions for falling in love?"

Male: "A man and a woman."

Female: "Nonsense!"

Male: "Yes, there is still a lot of nonsense."

9. I was idle today and chatted with a female colleague. She said angrily, "My boyfriend is pretty ugly." I said, don't say that about your boyfriend."

She said, "Well, I'm not modest, everyone recognizes it as ugly. ”

I asked: “How ugly is it? "

She said, "It's hard to say this."

I induced: "Let me say so, if I give me 60 points, how many points will I give him? ”

She said without hesitation: “68 points! "

I...

10. My dad called just now and asked anxiously: "Are you okay? ”

I said, “It’s pretty good! What's wrong? ”

He said: “I received a text message saying that you were kidnapped and asked me to call him 200,000 in 3 days, otherwise I would tear the votes! ”

I hurriedly comforted my dad: “Don’t worry, I’m pretty good, that’s a liar! When did you receive the text message? "

He hesitated for a moment and said, "Last month, when I got busy, I forgot about this..."