When I woke up in the morning, I found that I had a cold and fever very uncomfortable, so I said to my mom, "Mom, buy me some cold medicine." My mom said, "I'm not available now, so you drink more boiled water, sleep a little, and go to the clinic by yourself later..." I said, "M

When I woke up in the morning, I found that I had a cold and fever very uncomfortable, so I said to my mom, "Mom, buy me some cold medicine." My mom said, "I'm not available now, so you drink more boiled water, sleep a little, and go to the clinic by yourself later..." I said, "Mom, what are you busy with?" My mom said, "The dog you bought a few days ago is a little panting, so I will take it to pet hospital to check it out. This dog cannot have three long and two shorts, which costs more than 10,000 yuan."

The Chinese Valentine's girlfriend was clamoring for a gift early in the morning: "My husband wants a sports car~ I heard that the throttle of Lamborghini is so cool, it only takes 3 seconds to soar from 0 to 100!" I shook my head. "Then...then Ferrari is fine! It only takes 5 seconds to start until 100!" I smiled and hugged her and said, "What you said is too timely. If you want to buy it, I will buy you the best one, and buy the fastest one from 0 to 100!" Later, I did what I said and gave her a scale. A new buffet restaurant was opened downstairs of

. An advertisement was posted at the door, "A buffet only costs 48, let's eat it as much as you want!" Several magnificent fat men passed by and said, "Let's go teach the young boss a lesson." After that, he went to the restaurant to tell the boss the correct usage of "degree" for an hour: "It's to eat it as much as you want, not "they'!"

There is a little beauty in the company with a lively personality. Once, she saw a man sitting there watching football at a snack bar near the company, with his back very much like a male colleague, so she went over and took a photo of him. The man looked back and said unhappily: "What are you doing randomly? You are not familiar with you!" The little beauty is the one who doesn't suffer any loss. She blushed and said, "How can you know if you don't take pictures?" The man was stunned for a moment, seemed a little embarrassed, and whispered, "I'm not a watermelon."

Just met an old grandma buying tomatoes. She picked three, and the stall owner weighed them and said, "One and a half pounds, three yuan and seven yuan." Grandma said, "Just make soup, there is no need to do that." After that, he removed the largest tomato. The stall owner quickly glanced at the scale again: "One pound, two liang, three pounds." Just as I couldn't stand it and wanted to remind my grandma to pay attention to the stall owner's scale, my grandma calmly took out 70 cents, picked up the big tomato that had just been removed, and turned around and left.

Passing a small stall for keys, I heard a MM ask the boss: "Boss, can I get the key?" The boss replied: "Yes." Then, MM stood in front of the stall, the boss looked at her, and was silent for a long time...silence... Finally, the boss couldn't help but say, "Where is the key?" MM: "Key? Why do I come to you to match with if I have the key?" Boss:...,

. I accompanied my wife to shop for clothes on the weekend. My wife picked two clothes in a store. When she took cash to prepare for payment, I saw that there were many beauties around me, so I took out my husband's spirit and wanted to show it. I immediately took out my credit card and said to my wife, "I'll swipe the card!" Unexpectedly, my wife glanced at the girls around me and said, "I'll do it, it's so bad that your wife knows!" All the beauties around me looked at me differently!

A few days ago, she scratched me two holes. Yesterday we went to my mom’s house for dinner, and my mom asked me what was going on on my face. I said it was a cat at home scratching me. After dinner, my wife and I left. As soon as we walked downstairs, my mother shouted on the balcony: "Hey, I forgot to take your cat's phone."

Today my ex-girlfriend suddenly asked me to send me an invitation and said she was going to get married. She dumped me at the beginning, and it is said that the rich second generation fell in love with her. After she gave me the invitation, she showed off to me that her husband's father was a Rolls-Royce .Seeing her life well, I felt relieved. I opened the invitation and looked at her strangely... Because yesterday my driver also gave my dad a copy of the same......

Xiao Ming scored zero. The teacher pulled Xiao Ming to the podium and said, "Everyone, this is because I am not focused and don't listen to my lectures well. I actually scored zero. Everyone should learn from this!" At this time, Xiao Ming said with tears in his face: "Teacher, when will the exam be taken? Can you inform me next time?"

When I was a child, I couldn't resist the temptation of snacks. My sinful black hand finally reached to my mother's wallet. While choosing a smaller denomination, my mother came in. I blurted out, "I took it myself, not my dad asked me to buy cigarettes!" I, Temo, was so smart. My mother touched my head and didn't beat me up. It’s just that I don’t have a good sleep at night, it’s not because I feel guilty, but because my parents’ room is too noisy!

My mother in the family takes care of the money, and my mother always pays me for living expenses. Once the money is spent too much, there is no money to have a meal in the middle of the month. I had to call my dad and asked him to call me 500 yuan, so I couldn't let my mom know. My dad was silent for a while, and then said: "I'll think of a solution!" The next day, my dad called me five hundred yuan. I asked my dad: "How did you get the money?" My dad said: "I hid all the dog food at home and asked your mom for money and said it was buying dog food!!"

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