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01
Many people only know the fantasy of beautiful love, but they have never thought about what kind of love is beautiful. Although
love is not an equation, there are corresponding rules and precautions. If the dividing line is 0, love greater than 0 can be called a good love, and love less than 0 is not beautiful at all. The love with
greater than 0 specifically refers to: love has respect and tolerance, two people are in an equal state, no one looks down on each other, only love. Love where
is less than 0 is the opposite: there is no respect, no tolerance, no equality, and nothing beautiful in love.
Everyone should think about and analyze these issues when facing love, including when facing marriage. If you can recognize the problem before love and marriage begin, don’t let it begin; after you recognize the problem, if you can’t adjust and fix it, the end should end as soon as possible.
We can’t take it for granted that ending a relationship means not knowing how to cherish. Some things will only rot in your hands if you leave them in your hands, meaningless, what are you waiting for if you don’t throw them away?
02
Some time ago, Tiantian angered a female colleague who admired vanity and said, "You remind me of my previous sister-in-law. You love vanity as much as her. I tell you clearly that my sister-in-law did not end well If you insist on admiring vanity, you will definitely follow her footsteps!"
admiring vanity is often associated with words such as vanity and comparison. When we evaluate a person's love of vanity, it is definitely not for praise, because this word goes against the common sense. Values, it can even be said that to evaluate a person's love of vanity is to say that this person is not living right.
Of course, this is not to say that we should be cautious and abide by a certain kind of ethics while we are alive, but that the degree to be grasped must be grasped well. Vanity and comparison also have a reasonable part. Appropriate vanity and comparison can inspire a person's fighting spirit and make a person better and better. However, beyond this reasonable range, there is almost no benefit to a person.
In fact, we can see from the specific things that people who admire vanity do: Such people often do not have any great strength in themselves, and it is precisely because of this that they will think of packaging with vanity and comparison. For themselves, what they want to live is not how good they want to be, but how good they want others to think of themselves, so as to achieve the goal of getting something for nothing. There is a word called "fishing women", which refers to this kind of person.
sweet sister-in-law, that is, her brother's ex-wife belongs to this kind of person. If she has been single, it doesn't really matter how she plays, because she won't harm anyone. But the problem is that she is already married. She should have put her life’s focus on marriage and family, but she didn’t. She wanted to focus on admiring vanity. She always compares. The specific manifestation is to spend money and buy. She wants to own things, mixed circles, and things that others have. Even if she buys a copycat to wear on her, she feels satisfied that she has become a lady.
This kind of behavior is not only not recognized by her husband, but also not recognized by her in-laws, including her own parents. Everyone asks her to settle down a little bit, but she wants to sing the opposite. Not only is she restless, but the more people persuade her. She, the more unscrupulous she is.
Sweet brother wants to divorce her, specifically because:
"After all, she is married to our house. She is my brother’s wife and my parents’ daughter-in-law. She is seen as a joke, which means we are The family is seen as a joke, she has not restrained, our family will always be a joke in the eyes of others. Our family doesn't have to care about the eyes of others. Rather, it is obviously possible not to be laughed at by others, but because she is being talked about by others, why should we let her stay in our house? 』Z1z
Tiantian said, her sister-in-law heard her brother mention divorce, and was anxious. On the other hand, she said, "What are you, it is me divorcing you, not you divorcing me. You leave me as your loss , You will lose a good wife, your parents will lose a good daughter-in-law, and I, after leaving you, will definitely live better. I am such a good person, I do not despise you for being poor, but you think that I love vanity, It’s ridiculous! If you don’t want to spend money for me, just tell me, don’t be thriftyThat way to restrain me, in life, I should have fun in time. If you don’t understand, it means you are not worthy of me. I would like to divorce you and marry the rich soon! "Z1z
maybe she really thinks she can marry a rich man after divorce, or maybe she deliberately used this kind of bravado to get her husband to dispel the idea of divorce, but it didn't work, and finally divorced." I don’t know how I feel after the divorce, I only know that after she divorced my brother, our whole family was relieved, and there is no need to be jokes by outsiders because of her! "Z1z
Tiantian angered that female colleague and said that her sister-in-law had suffered retribution, specifically referring to: her vanity-loving sister-in-law lost her fulcrum of admiration for vanity after the divorce, and her own money was not enough to support her. Continuing the comparison, she wanted to find someone to take over, but no one wanted to take over. When the remarriage was not smooth, she thought of remarrying to find her ex-husband to take over, but the remarriage was also rejected. Z1z
may be because she knows her sweet brother better. He knew where his weakness was, so that when he was crying and selling badly, his brother was shaken. Fortunately, he discussed with his family when he was uncertain. Otherwise, he wanted to get rid of his ex-wife after remarrying. It’s not that easy.
Regarding remarriage, his mother’s advice is:
"Your ex-wife, a vain woman, looks down on you from the bottom of her heart. The cruel words she put on when she divorced you were in her heart. The most true thought. Now she can't get on with herself anymore, but she wants to find a shelter from the wind, she wants to find a wrongdoer, so she will remarry you. In her eyes, you are the wrongdoer and the bully, that is her. People who look down on, such a person pretends to love you, how can you believe it? You can't care, can't take it seriously! If you can't behave, the scar is forgotten to hurt, how she treated you before, our family is because of her How was it laughed at by outsiders, have you forgotten it? If you remarry, everything you experienced before will be replayed. We finally get rid of her and invite her in again, which is to make ourselves suffer!"
03
There are a total of two issues covered in the article, each of which is very realistic and worthy of everyone’s attention:
first, admiring vanity will basically not end well. Maybe you have heard that some people who admire vanity climbed to the top, but such people How many can there be? And you just heard it, and you don’t know if it’s true or false. Since popular values cannot tolerate love and vanity, you don’t need to be individual for the sake of individuality. Otherwise, you will go against the trend and you will ultimately suffer. .Z1z
Second, the last thing Tiantian’s mother said to her brother is very profound, don’t love people who look down on you, and don’t accept the love of such people, because it’s all pretense. If you are not easy to follow This kind of person breaks up and gets divorced. You shouldn’t heal the scar and forget the pain. You should permanently exclude this kind of person from your emotional world. Otherwise, there is only one ending to remarrying someone who looks down on you. : She will repeat the same mistakes, your marriage will repeat the same mistakes, and all the unpleasant things that happened before will be repeated.
Even if you have not personally experienced the above two things, since someone has ushered in a tragedy, it is worth your thought Quit. You can only ask yourself not to make the mistakes made by others if you take it into consideration. Otherwise, if you don’t learn from other people’s marital tragedies, you may unknowingly retake the wrong path that others have taken. In the end, The tragedy that others have experienced will be repeated on you.
