Let’s discuss a question first. The man’s family has the idea of favoring boys over girls. His boyfriend does not, or he cannot be sure. Do you suggest that girls marry?
As we all know, for a girl, the most cruel thing is to reincarnate in a family that favors boys over girls. Not only are they not favored by their parents, they may also be forced to become brothers' ATMs and be sucked by their parents and brothers for the rest of their lives.
Keigo Higashino There is a passage in "Shisheng" saying: "Everyone wants to be born in a good family, but he cannot choose his parents. If you give you a card, you can only try to play it as well."
We cannot choose a native family, but if we choose a partner, that is, who we can make the decision on ourselves, then you must keep your eyes open, and you cannot jump into the fire pit, and you cannot marry a family that values boys over girls. Otherwise, you will not only cheat yourself, but also cheat your daughter.
So, how do you judge whether the man’s family has the idea of favoring boys over girls? First of all, you can judge from their words and deeds. If the man's words are urgently hoping to have a grandson, emphasizing having a boy, or saying that things about other people's families are revealed, you must be careful.
Secondly, based on their attitude towards their daughter, you can clearly judge that if the gap in their attitude towards their son and daughter is extremely obvious, and treat their daughter as an ATM, I advise you to be careful of marrying.
Finally, the idea of favoring boys over girls is often linked to the idea of men being superior to women. You can see the status of their women.
But, what if the man doesn’t have it, should he directly deny this marriage just because his parents have it?
reader Yang Rongrong encountered such a problem. On the one hand, she saw her boyfriend's actions and felt very satisfied and thought that her boyfriend was a clear person. On the other hand, she thought that she would have a boyish in-laws who prefer boys over girls, Yang Rongrong felt worried. After her parents found out, they opposed this marriage, which made Yang Rongrong, who has always been a good girl, at a loss and didn't know how to deal with it.
01.
Yang Rongrong is 23 years old this year and has been graduating from college for one year. She and her boyfriend began to have a good relationship in their freshman year. She confirmed her relationship last semester of her sophomore year. The two experienced the test of graduation breakup season and long-distance relationship. As well as the tossing of meeting due to the epidemic, their relationship is still stable.
Some time ago, my boyfriend proposed to Yang Rongrong, saying that his parents learned that they had a girlfriend and looked at the photos. They liked the gentle and quiet Yang Rongrong very much. They hoped to meet their future daughter-in-law, confirm the marriage earlier, and want to hold their grandson earlier.
"He told me that his grandfather is 82 years old and his health has become much worse in recent years. I hope he can see his grandson get married before he dies. If he can report his great-grandson, he can close his eyes with peace of mind when he sees the successors of the old Dou families. I think, anyway, after graduation, after talking for so long, it's time to get married, so I agreed."
According to tradition, Yang Rongrong took her boyfriend back to meet her parents first. The two are considered to be of equal status, both of them are migrant workers' children. The two are college classmates. The man's income is higher than that of Yang Rongrong, he acts politely and very good. He has been liked by Yang Rongrong's parents and passed the stance of the woman's parents.
"My mother did not agree to the marriage immediately, but asked me to go to my boyfriend's house to see two things. First, whether my boyfriend's parents attached enough importance to me, whether they really accepted me, and second, let me see if his family has the idea of favoring boys over girls."
has the second requirement because my boyfriend mentioned that he had a sister three years older than him, because they were born in an era when the birth policy was the strictest. Therefore, Yang Rongrong's parents uphold the principle of being more cautious and let their daughter pay more attention.
02.
Unexpectedly, Yang Rongrong's mother's guess actually came true. Her boyfriend's family does have the idea of favoring boys over girls, which is still very obvious.
After Yang Rongrong arrived, she received warm hospitality from her future parents-in-law, especially her boyfriend's mother, who asked Yang Rongrong about her well-being, prepared the fruits that Yang Rongrong liked, and cooked them in person. The food she made was all about Yang Rongrong's favorite food, which made Yang Rongrong flattered and felt that she had received enough attention. After
, Yang Rongrong paid a visit to her boyfriend's grandfather and felt very shy when she heard the urge to get married. In fact, if there is no accident, they can get married at the latest on National Day next year.
However, after a while, Yang Rongrong saw her boyfriend's mother take out a bank card and stuff it into her son's hand, saying that she had saved 400,000 yuan here, which was for her son to get married.
"We must buy a house. My mother said that she would not give all the pressure to her son-in-law, and our family would pay half of the down payment. We can't afford a school district house. We are just ordinary people and just plan to buy a house in the suburbs. The down payment is about 300,000 yuan. I was surprised to see his mother paying 400,000 yuan at one time. You must know that his parents are also migrant workers, and they can save so much money with two children. Then, I heard such a conversation."
"400,000 yuan? Mom, where do you have so many people? Money? Last time you told me that you only have 200,000 yuan in your hand, and you are afraid that it will not be enough to get married to me. "
"Will your sister get married at the end of the month? The bride price is 200,000 yuan, this is all here, it is all yours, if it is not enough, let your sister find a way."
03.
Hearing her boyfriend's mother's answer, Yang Rongrong's face instantly became ugly, and the four words "favoring boys over girls" appeared in her mind, making her feel difficult to breathe.
Fortunately, my boyfriend's performance was quite satisfactory. He was unhappy and argued with his mother: "What? The 200,000 yuan bride price is here, give it to me? Mom, aren't you selling your daughter? How can this be done! I remember that my future brother-in-law is also a child of an ordinary family. This 200,000 yuan bride price is definitely a big number for his family. If he gives this money, his family may not be able to afford a house, and even have to bear debts!"
"So what? He is not my son, what do I care about him? He married a girl I have raised for 27 years and only gave me a 200,000 yuan bride price. "
At the insistence of her boyfriend's mother, her boyfriend took it away in desperation. However, when her mother left, he said to Yang Rongrong: "rongrong, let's discuss it. I know you want to buy a house, but I can't take this money. If I take it, I'm afraid that my sister's in-laws' family will get angry and ruin her happiness. She is already 27 years old."
My boyfriend told Yang Rongrong about his experience. It turned out that he and his sister were raised by their grandparents. They grew up together, and the sister took care of him a lot. When he was in college, his sister had just graduated and his parents asked her to support him in school. Her sister agreed and saved money. He went to see her sister and saw that she lived in a basement with a network block. She felt extremely guilty and felt that she and her parents owe her too much.
"My parents have ruined my sister's marriage. It was my sister's first love. Because I couldn't give the bride money, the two of them shared it. I think I can do it myself and earn money to marry you. I can't sacrifice my own sister no matter what!"
04.
04.
Yang Rongrong nodded and supported her boyfriend to return the money to her sister. So her boyfriend went to the bank and transferred the 200,000 yuan gift to her sister, telling her that the money was her dowry and no one would touch her.
My sister refused to ask for it. The two argued for a long time. In the end, my sister transferred 100,000 yuan and took only 100,000 yuan away. She also agreed that her parents should not know before the sister got married.
Yang Rongrong went home and told her parents about this. She thought her parents would praise her boyfriend, but she didn't expect that. After hearing this, her parents frowned and suggested that Yang Rongrong consider this marriage carefully, which made Yang Rongrong feel incomprehensible.
"Silly girl, don't talk about whether he is pretending or not. I'm worried that you will leave him because of this. Even if he comes from the bottom of his heart and is not stained with the mud, having such a parent-in-law who prefers boys over girls is a troublesome!"
Parents believe that even if Yang Rongrong's boyfriend is really pure in his mind and does not favor boys over girls, he is a good man, and it is impossible for him to stand firmly next to Yang Rongrong after the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has occurred and protect Yang Rongrong for the rest of his life.
Once Yang Rongrong gives birth to a daughter, she will inevitably be disliked by her parents-in-law. Even if her husband protects her, she will be quarrels and life will be very bad.
If Yang Rongrong gave birth to a son and a daughter, maybe Yang Rongrong's daughter would repeat the mistakes of her boyfriend and sister.
"Child, don't believe in human nature, and don't believe in the promise that men will protect you for the rest of their lives. This is marriage, about the rest of your life, I can't afford to gamble."
After hearing what his parents said, Yang Rongrong felt very painful and didn't know what to do.
END.
Today's topic: Do you have any good suggestions for Yang Rongrong? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
This article is original by Qinglu Xiangfeng. Welcome to follow and take you to gain knowledge!
