Hello everyone, I am Strange
Why do we embark on a "road where few people walk"?
The author of this book has used as much as possible to tell us how to walk this path well with a gentleness unique to psychologists, but after reading the whole book, I still feel an unusual heaviness.
Because no matter how you do it, life will be suffering in the end, and this is actually one of the greatest truths in the world.
No one wants to be expelled from " Eden ", but since the moment of exile, one day it must mature, just as irresistible as part of the original sin.
Rejecting maturity means avoiding problems and avoiding pain. But the more a person escapes, the heavier the price he will pay for it and the greater the pain he will suffer.
If humans are really beneficial animals, walking on this path that few people take will become the most cost-effective thing.
, if there are fewer people walking, it will not be crowded, just like a person who can climb the highest mountain is worthy of seeing beautiful scenery that others cannot see.
The problem is, how should I go about this difficult road?
If you can't solve the problem, you will become a problem
In Okinawa , a young soldier's wife cut her wrist with a razor blade. Fortunately, the rescue was timely and she failed to commit suicide. But after seeing the conversation between her and the psychologist, I do feel that it may not be the only life she should be rescued.
Psychologist: Why do you do this?
Soldier's wife: Of course I want to commit suicide.
Psychologist: Why do you want to commit suicide?
Soldier wife: This place makes me feel bored and boring, and I can't stand it for a moment. You must send me back to China, and if you still have to stay here, I will still commit suicide.
Psychologist: Why does living in Okinawa make you feel so painful?
Soldier Wife: I have no friends here, I have always been lonely.
Psychologist: This is really bad. But why don't you make friends?
Soldier's wife: Because I live in a damn residential area of Okinawa, where no one speaks English.
Psychologist: Then why don’t you drive to the US military family area, or go to the Military Wife Club, and make friends there?"
Soldier Wife: Because my husband has to drive to work during the day.
Psychologist: Since you are lonely and bored during the day, why don’t you drive to work with your husband?
Soldier Wife: Because our car is a gear shifter, not an automatic, I don’t know how to drive a gear shifter.
Psychologist: Why don’t you learn to drive a gearbox?
Soldier’s wife: Are you learning on that kind of road? You must be crazy.
Alas, the mentality of "there are always troublemakers who want to harm me" is a disease. Otherwise, how could she come to the conclusion that "the whole world is targeting me", and she became the innocent person who had no problem with having to commit suicide.
A few days ago, the itinerary of a close contact person who was infected with the new crown in attracted a lot of attention online.
As a deliveryman, on November 2, he set off from home at 6:20 am to take orders until 10:53 pm, and ran a total of 65 orders, and only had one meal during that time.
And this is just his most ordinary working day. If it weren't for the epidemiological investigation record, we might be willing to not know how hard he worked. I don’t know that he worked so hard because he was about to become a father and wanted to earn more money on milk powder.
There has never been a word easy in the adult world, but fortunately some people are unwilling to give up.
Three years of the epidemic, I don’t know how many people have been forced to lose their jobs and lost their source of income.
There are always people looking for a way out, and there are always people lying flat on the spot.
Don’t let yourself become a problem, so as to better solve the problem.
The best way to love someone is to make her independent
In May this year, my little cotton jacket was born.
What followed was my beautiful vision for her future life and my infinite anxiety about her future growth.
Hello everyone, I am Strange
Why do we embark on a "road where few people walk"?
The author of this book has used as much as possible to tell us how to walk this path well with a gentleness unique to psychologists, but after reading the whole book, I still feel an unusual heaviness.
Because no matter how you do it, life will be suffering in the end, and this is actually one of the greatest truths in the world.
No one wants to be expelled from " Eden ", but since the moment of exile, one day it must mature, just as irresistible as part of the original sin.
Rejecting maturity means avoiding problems and avoiding pain. But the more a person escapes, the heavier the price he will pay for it and the greater the pain he will suffer.
If humans are really beneficial animals, walking on this path that few people take will become the most cost-effective thing.
, if there are fewer people walking, it will not be crowded, just like a person who can climb the highest mountain is worthy of seeing beautiful scenery that others cannot see.
The problem is, how should I go about this difficult road?
If you can't solve the problem, you will become a problem
In Okinawa , a young soldier's wife cut her wrist with a razor blade. Fortunately, the rescue was timely and she failed to commit suicide. But after seeing the conversation between her and the psychologist, I do feel that it may not be the only life she should be rescued.
Psychologist: Why do you do this?
Soldier's wife: Of course I want to commit suicide.
Psychologist: Why do you want to commit suicide?
Soldier wife: This place makes me feel bored and boring, and I can't stand it for a moment. You must send me back to China, and if you still have to stay here, I will still commit suicide.
Psychologist: Why does living in Okinawa make you feel so painful?
Soldier Wife: I have no friends here, I have always been lonely.
Psychologist: This is really bad. But why don't you make friends?
Soldier's wife: Because I live in a damn residential area of Okinawa, where no one speaks English.
Psychologist: Then why don’t you drive to the US military family area, or go to the Military Wife Club, and make friends there?"
Soldier Wife: Because my husband has to drive to work during the day.
Psychologist: Since you are lonely and bored during the day, why don’t you drive to work with your husband?
Soldier Wife: Because our car is a gear shifter, not an automatic, I don’t know how to drive a gear shifter.
Psychologist: Why don’t you learn to drive a gearbox?
Soldier’s wife: Are you learning on that kind of road? You must be crazy.
Alas, the mentality of "there are always troublemakers who want to harm me" is a disease. Otherwise, how could she come to the conclusion that "the whole world is targeting me", and she became the innocent person who had no problem with having to commit suicide.
A few days ago, the itinerary of a close contact person who was infected with the new crown in attracted a lot of attention online.
As a deliveryman, on November 2, he set off from home at 6:20 am to take orders until 10:53 pm, and ran a total of 65 orders, and only had one meal during that time.
And this is just his most ordinary working day. If it weren't for the epidemiological investigation record, we might be willing to not know how hard he worked. I don’t know that he worked so hard because he was about to become a father and wanted to earn more money on milk powder.
There has never been a word easy in the adult world, but fortunately some people are unwilling to give up.
Three years of the epidemic, I don’t know how many people have been forced to lose their jobs and lost their source of income.
There are always people looking for a way out, and there are always people lying flat on the spot.
Don’t let yourself become a problem, so as to better solve the problem.
The best way to love someone is to make her independent
In May this year, my little cotton jacket was born.
What followed was my beautiful vision for her future life and my infinite anxiety about her future growth.
As the child’s first teacher, what I do will affect her life.
OMG, I actually have the ability to "steer others' life" and is full of God's perspective.
But what should I do to live up to the brave decision she made when she was reincarnated. Alas, she will be able to call her dad in a few months.
I can't give you gold and silver mountains, and my ancestors didn't pass it down to the treasures of the previous dynasty. If there were mines at home, my parents would have told me long ago, why did I live in my current residence? There was no swimming pool in the backyard. Oh, by the way, there is only a balcony above the second floor, so where did I get the backyard?
It seems that I can only think about how to care for her correctly.
A few days ago, my wife suddenly asked me if the company asked her to do the errand of the sales director, could she take over it? I said, as long as you don’t delay getting along with your daughter, just do it if you want to.
My wife was quite surprised because she didn't have much experience in this area. "You really support me." I asked back without thinking, "Is it fun? Let's do it if you are fun."
Alas, there is no way, I'm used to it.
But to be honest, I hope my lover and my children can do what they find interesting, fun, and interesting, instead of doing so-called meaningful things.
, but who wouldn't want to? The problem is, there must be a foundation for the choice.
I guess, you think what I am talking about is the material basis. That's right, you guessed it right. But beyond that, I think there is something more important.
What I want to say is the "independence spirit". Including independent personality and consciousness, independent thinking and judgment ability, independent ability to express oneself independently without external interference, and independent financial ability several years later.
Love your children, so that they must be free from their parents and have the ability to think independently, and that they must be brave enough to face problems and pain, face difficulties, and stand alone with their feet. This sentence in the book is right, but it is difficult to do.
For example, what should you do if your child starts to quarrel with you? That's what the most reassuring answer I've ever seen.
"That's great, it means that your child no longer thinks about things according to your thinking. This is an important step in ideological independence. If she can surpass you, it means that her expression ability, thinking patterns, language logic, etc. have surpassed you. Are you still worried about whether her Chinese grades will be too poor?"
What you fear most are parents who allow children to be unfilial but cannot accept their children’s dissatisfaction.
Children who grow up like this will always live in a more closed and narrow world than their parents, and they will be unable to breathe.
The highly educated man who killed his mother and hid his body in the TV series " Bottom Line " is a giant baby who has never grown up independently. It is not that he doesn't want to, but that his mother holds him tightly and refuses to give up.
The best way for a life to bloom is to allow her to grow independently enough. We must believe that even a baby who is just a newborn in this world will be born towards the sun without the guidance of his parents and will not be far away.
So, as people who love their children the most, what should we do?
There is a low-profile question on Zhihu: Is it useful to educate children to talk about big principles?
My answer is, is it useful to educate adults to talk about big principles? If it is useless, why bother telling the child, anyway, he will grow up one day. If it works, it will work for adults long ago, and then let the child imitate it, why waste your saliva? Just do it for her to show it.
The dragon gives birth to the dragon and the phoenix gives birth to the phoenix, and the mouse's son can dig holes. The focus is not on "birth", but on "knowing". What you know, your child will have the opportunity to imitate.
Live your own well, and watch your child live your own well with a trustworthy look. This is the best love.
Life is short
The first time I was moved by these words was when I watched the movie " If You Are the One 2".
It’s a pity. I didn’t understand the bitterness at that time, and I had already passed the New Year.
Because it was for , my wife was allowed to go home for confinement on the third day after giving birth to her daughter. But because of premature birth, my daughter had to stay in the hospital for several days.
On the night when I got home, just before I was about to turn off the lights and go to bed, my wife suddenly looked at me affectionately, said, "I will marry you in the next life," and then fell asleep.
For this sentence, I didn’t sleep well all night, and the sweet water in my heart was invisibly frozen into a large Northeast board.
An invisible panic made me put my fingers under her nostrils more than once in the second half of the night to investigate, and then, in the morning light, I used the bags of the two silkworms to lie down and watched her wake up from the energy of a hundred times.
I suddenly realized that Korean dramas are indeed lying.
But then I thought, it was good, I booked my next life earlier, so as not to have time to say it because I didn’t know which one of the accidents or tomorrow would arrive first, but it would be troublesome.
Life is really short, far from as long as we imagined, so you might as well be kind to the person who loves you and to yourself. Today is your pillow, and tomorrow may be a stranger. If you don’t have time to love well in this life, don’t expect to meet again in the next life.
I insist on giving my daughter a bath every day, because from the perspective of gender education, after the age of two, I can only leave this matter to her mother. In fact, after the past six months, the remaining one is only more than 500 days. Since then, her bare butt has only existed in her memory.
There are always some things that happen, which are shorter than a lifetime.
After taking maternity leave, my wife insisted on taking her daughter to work, but she didn't want to miss the moments of her daughter's growth.
When you go to work during the day, you have to wake up 5 or 6 times at night to feed your daughter.
How can you let go of any moment in such a short life?
ending
Can we really take a path that few people walk?
Maybe, it depends on your understanding, opportunity, and more importantly, whether you are willing to go to a mature direction and take a step further.
On the night when I got home, just before I was about to turn off the lights and go to bed, my wife suddenly looked at me affectionately, said, "I will marry you in the next life," and then fell asleep.
For this sentence, I didn’t sleep well all night, and the sweet water in my heart was invisibly frozen into a large Northeast board.
An invisible panic made me put my fingers under her nostrils more than once in the second half of the night to investigate, and then, in the morning light, I used the bags of the two silkworms to lie down and watched her wake up from the energy of a hundred times.
I suddenly realized that Korean dramas are indeed lying.
But then I thought, it was good, I booked my next life earlier, so as not to have time to say it because I didn’t know which one of the accidents or tomorrow would arrive first, but it would be troublesome.
Life is really short, far from as long as we imagined, so you might as well be kind to the person who loves you and to yourself. Today is your pillow, and tomorrow may be a stranger. If you don’t have time to love well in this life, don’t expect to meet again in the next life.
I insist on giving my daughter a bath every day, because from the perspective of gender education, after the age of two, I can only leave this matter to her mother. In fact, after the past six months, the remaining one is only more than 500 days. Since then, her bare butt has only existed in her memory.
There are always some things that happen, which are shorter than a lifetime.
After taking maternity leave, my wife insisted on taking her daughter to work, but she didn't want to miss the moments of her daughter's growth.
When you go to work during the day, you have to wake up 5 or 6 times at night to feed your daughter.
How can you let go of any moment in such a short life?
ending
Can we really take a path that few people walk?
Maybe, it depends on your understanding, opportunity, and more importantly, whether you are willing to go to a mature direction and take a step further.
