Some people say that 25 years old is a watershed for women. If you are not married after 25 years old, it will be difficult to meet true love.
Some people also say that love does not matter age, and will definitely come when it is time to come, so don’t force yourself to get out of singleness by blind date.
But many elders do not think so. They will constantly urge the younger generation in their family to find a partner, and even spare no effort to help her/him arrange a blind date.
In such a blind date atmosphere, there are many people who find happiness, but there are many people who make themselves messed up and even cause trouble to their family.
Event Review:
Suffering
He Yan (pseudonym) and Wang Rui (pseudonym) have been dating for more than a year and are finally getting engaged. He Yan's grandmother Li Xiuping was so happy when she learned about it, because she didn't have to worry about not being able to see her granddaughter wearing a wedding dress and getting married in her lifetime.
But unexpectedly, when Wang Rui and He Yan proposed to take wedding photos, He Yan refused. Wang Rui, who was unknown, asked He Yan in frustration why, and He Yan was just silent.
When Li Xiuping learned about it, she said to He Yan, "If you don't take wedding photos, how can you get married? Could it be that you don't put photos at the wedding?"
He Yan said to Li Xiuping without raising her head, "I would rather take photos with a dog than take photos with him."
He Yan's words shocked Li Xiuping. She realized that something must have happened between her granddaughter and Wang Rui, so she said, "Aren't you okay? You're going to get married, why do you still say such things?"
He Yan said that I don't like him and don't want to marry him.
Li Xiuping said, you are all engaged, and they have bought you a car, so it is impossible to return it.
He Yan stopped saying anything after hearing Li Xiuping's words, but locked herself in the house, not eating or drinking, and not working, which scared Li Xiuping.
But no matter how Li Xiuping persuaded him, He Yan remained silent. Her extreme state made 78-year-old Li Xiuping unable to sleep or eat. In order to open up the knot of her granddaughter, Li Xiuping found a mediator.
As soon as he saw the mediator, Li Xiuping said in tears that her granddaughter was pulled by her shit and peeing, and she still ate and slept with her until now.
The mediator said, where are her parents?
Li Xiuping said that my eldest daughter divorced shortly after giving birth to her, and then she threw her to me and went to work in the south. Later, my eldest daughter formed a new family and gave birth to a child, so she entrusted her to me.
Li Xiuping did not mention He Yan's biological father, but those present could also feel that He Yan had not received the care of her father.
For a moment, everyone was heartbroken by He Yan's experience, and at the same time they were moved by Li Xiuping's greatness.
Wedding Photos
But Li Xiuping said that she is a guilty person.
The mediator asked her why she said that.
It turned out that He Yan and Wang Rui met under the help of Li Xiuping. Li Xiuping told the mediator that when her sister's child got married, she accidentally saw Wang Rui and felt that Wang Rui was not only energetic, but also very polite, so she became interested in introducing him to her granddaughter.
Then she found her sister Li Xiuqin (pseudonym) to inquire about Wang Rui's situation. Li Xiuqin told her that Wang Rui graduated from university, had a stable job, good family conditions, and no partner yet.
Li Xiuping was very happy when she learned the news. She felt that she had found a good marriage for her granddaughter, so she immediately arranged for two young people to go on a blind date.
According to Li Xiuping, after He Yan and Wang Rui first met, they had a good impression of each other, so they had further interactions.
But one day not long after, He Yan and Wang Rui originally made an appointment to go shopping together to buy clothes, but He Yan stayed in bed and couldn't get up. When Wang Rui, who was downstairs, found out, he sent a message and said, "Why can't you get up? Didn't you agree to go shopping?"
Unexpectedly, this message made He Yan lose his temper. She said that Wang Rui was not patient with her, and said that Wang Rui was not the type she liked at all, so she proposed to break up with Wang Rui.
After Li Xiuping learned the cause and effect of the matter, she patiently advised He Yan not to break up just because of a small matter. After all, such a boyfriend is not easy to find.
After Li Xiuping's persuasion, He Yan quickly got angry and reconciled with Wang Rui. After that, the two of them naturally got engaged at the arrangement of their family and gave a bride price of 150,000 yuan.
In addition, Wang Rui also paid 150,000 yuan to buy a car for He Yan. Originally, Li Xiuping thought that his granddaughter's marriage was a foregone conclusion.
Who knew that when the man asked to take a wedding photo, He Yan said, "I would rather take a picture with a dog than take a picture with him."
He Yan also said that she would rather die than marry Wang Rui. After that, she began to stop eating, not go to work, and locked herself in the house.
Speaking of this, Li Xiuping's tears burst out from her eyes. She said, "I am already seventy-eight years old, my granddaughter is my life. She ignores me now, and I really don't know what to do."
The mediator said, has your granddaughter always listened to you?
Li Xiuping said, yes, she is very well-behaved, and she also said that she would take me around the world after she earns money.
Mediator said, "Then did there be any unpleasantness after they got engaged?"
Li Xiuping recalled carefully and said, after they got engaged, my sister said to my granddaughter, you are so lucky, he is more than enough to match you.
Li Xiuping said that in her opinion, it was her sister's words that aroused the disgust of her granddaughter, so she didn't want to take wedding photos or get married.
dare not refuse
Li Xiuping's words surprised the mediator. After all, marriage is a lifelong event, and no matter what, it should not affect your marriage because of a word.
The mediator asked He Yan: "Do you like this boy?"
He Yan said, I don't like him from beginning to end, and I don't want to marry him either.
Li Xiuping said, if you don’t like it, why would he ask him to buy you a car?
In response to this, He Yan explained that she just wanted to make him retreat through this method, but unexpectedly, the other party really bought her a car.
The mediator said, since you don’t like it, why don’t you refuse at the beginning?
He Yan said that she dared not refuse because she was afraid that it would make her grandmother sad.
Regarding the grandmother’s story about breaking up because of a text message, He Yan said that she was actually just finding an excuse to break up with the other party.
But Li Xiuping did not agree with He Yan's statement. She told the mediator that her granddaughter still liked Wang Rui a little at that time, otherwise it would be impossible for him to care about Wang Rui every day.
Li Xiuping said that it was precisely because of her granddaughter's performance that she tried her best to persuade her granddaughter to forgive Wang Rui.
Li Xiuping also said that she felt reluctant to part with Wang Rui from the bottom of her heart. After all, her granddaughter is already twenty-five years old, and it is really difficult to meet such a suitable marriage partner.
It is obvious that Li Xiuping loves her granddaughter very much. She feels that she will definitely be happy if she marrys her granddaughter and Wang Rui.
But He Yan doesn't think so. She said that she doesn't want to be with someone she doesn't like, nor does she want to sell herself like a goods.
Mediator said: "Why do you think you are a goods?"
He Yan said, this is what I feel.
The mediator said, have you told your grandmother or family members about your thoughts?
He Yan said, I haven't said it before, and it's useless if I say it. They will scold me for not knowing what is better, and they will also say that I don't know how lucky I am in a blessing.
He Yan also said that she was more worried that she would make her grandmother unhappy, and that would make her a sinner in everyone's eyes.
It is not difficult to see He Yan's helplessness and worries from her words.
A deep love
In order to further understand the situation, the mediator connected He Yan's mother He Shiqi (pseudonym).
He Shiqi told the mediator that her daughter had clearly stated to her that she did not agree to the marriage, and she had a dispute with her mother about this matter, but nothing changed.
He Shiqi also said that her daughter grew up with her grandmother since she was a child, and she was very distant from her relationship, and she felt guilty, so she was not inconvenient to interfere in her daughter's affairs too much.
From He Shiqi's words, it is not difficult to see her helplessness.
Then the mediator contacted Wang Rui. The mediator said, you have been dating for so long, have you never felt that she is so disgusted with you?
Wang Rui said, I don’t feel it, I think both of us have always been pretty good.
Wang Rui also said that he likes He Yan very much, and as long as He Yan is willing, they can start over.
It can be seen that Wang Rui is not only deeply in love with He Yan, but also full of expectations.
But He Yan was not moved. She said that she just wanted to make decisions for herself and did not want to passively find someone who was arranged by others to live her life.
He Yan also said that she knew that her grandmother was good to her, but she just wanted to pursue her own love. Even if her choice was wrong, she was willing to walk on her knees.
He Yan's words touched Li Xiuping. She murmured to herself, "I will introduce this object to you, it is really the best."
mediator told Li Xiuping that this is not a sin, but that everyone has different choices.
Later, under the persuasion of the mediator, Li Xiuping expressed respect for her granddaughter's ideas and no longer put pressure on her.
Seeing that his grandmother changed his attitude, He Yan also said that she would arrange her life and would fulfill her promise when she made money in the future - to take her grandmother on a trip.
As He Yan took the initiative to walk to Li Xiuping and held her hand. Li Xiuping said, "Your knot is opened, and I will have less sins."
The mediator said, it’s not that you have less sins, but that’s why you feel relieved. The elderly should still say less sins in the future. Such words put too much pressure on the children.
Li Xiuping said yes repeatedly, and then she said to He Yan, let’s go, go home with grandma.
Finally, He Yan said that after she went back, she would handle the matter with Wang Rui and return the money and goods she should have returned to the other party.
Conclusion:
People often say that a happy childhood heals a lifetime, and an unfortunate childhood heals a lifetime. It means that childhood has a great impact on a child. If a child is happy, the child will be happy all his life. If a child is unhappy, the child may need to spend his whole life to heal himself.
In real life, every child hopes to grow up with the company and care of his parents, but not all children can get what they want.
Just like He Yan in the story, she grew up with her grandmother since she was a child, and we can't imagine her expectations for her parents, but it is not difficult to see that she is very inferior and unwilling to express herself too much.
Although He Yan was not satisfied with the partner she introduced to her, she did not dare to refuse, and did not know how to refuse, because she was afraid that her grandmother would be unhappy, and she was even more afraid that she would be infatuated with the infamy of being unfilial. Finally, she was about to get married. She found that it would be too late for her to resist, so she took an extreme approach.
Her approach is undoubtedly irrational and hurts others and oneself, but it is hard to help but tracing back to her growing environment.
He Yan said that she wanted to pursue her own happiness and wanted to make decisions for her life. It can be seen that on her growth path, everything she had been arranged, and what she had to do was obediently.
This shows that she is not satisfied with such a life. In fact, if she really doesn't like it, she can definitely refuse it at the beginning instead of force herself to accept it.
As an elder, Li Xiuping loves He Yan very much. It can be said that she devoted all her love to He Yan.
As a person who has experienced it, Li Xiuping found that Wang Rui was very good and happily matched him to marry his granddaughter.
But at the same time, her love was heavy, and she made He Yan breathless.
.3 million is a considerable amount for an ordinary family. Wang Rui did not mention money at all on the phone, but instead looked forward to He Yan. It can be seen that he liked and cared about He Yan very much, but their way of getting to know each other became an obstacle between them.
Through this mediation, I believe that Wang Rui can re-examine this relationship and make corresponding adjustments.
If He Yan insists on breaking up, she should return all the 150,000 yuan gift and the money for buying a car to Wang Rui.
Behind this farce caused by blind date, it seems to be an extreme resistance made by children in pursuit of love, but in fact, what is hidden is the love of elders for their children.
Sometimes young people cannot predict some things in the future, and elders will remind them and give them some help, but if this kind of help is accepted, everyone may be happy. If rejected, they may be hurt by each other.
As an elder, you can give your child advice and constructive opinions, but you cannot help her/him make decisions. Even if the road ahead is muddy, she/him is willing to walk on his knees, because this is youth and this is the best growth.
