It is said that you have been looking at your mother-in-law for ten years and your daughter-in-law for ten years, but there are only two women who are simple and simple friends who meet a few times and can't understand what the other person is thinking.
How is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law? It is necessary to get along with each other for a long time and understand each other before you can make a conclusion. Sometimes, even if both of them have no bad intentions, it is not easy to get a peaceful and good relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
. The most important thing is to look at the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The most important thing is to look at the day after the daughter-in-law has given birth. This is the time when two people get along most frequently and are most touching.
Understanding, communication, and empathy are not only applicable to husband and wife relationships, but also between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. This is determined by the subtlety and complexity of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
In fact, in marriage, whether it is the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law or son-in-law, once it is not handled well, it will greatly affect the relationship between husband and wife. However, there are still a large number of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationships, which are not optimistic.
If the mother-in-law is not in harmony with her daughter-in-law when she is young and has a bond, then will the mother-in-law be in bed in her later years let go of the conflicts in her past and take care of her?
In fact, until now, Sister Zhao can't really forgive her mother-in-law from the bottom of her heart. Since she talked about marriage, her mother-in-law has opposed this marriage. In her heart, any woman who matches her son is the one who suffers a loss.
At first, Sister Zhao didn't know that her mother-in-law looked down on her. After meeting her mother-in-law for the first time in two years in love, Sister Zhao discovered the clue.
Sister Zhao didn't understand, but her mother-in-law had such a big prejudice against herself, and treated her coldly almost the whole time. At that time, Sister Zhao suggested that if she was not blessed by her parents, she would not have married her husband.
Sister Zhao's boyfriend, who is now her husband, said that Sister Zhao is too sensitive, is her illusion. I don’t know what kind of effort Sister Zhao’s husband put into. When I met for the second time, my mother-in-law’s attitude improved a lot, but I could also see the sense of alienation.
was just like this, and the two of them still got married. After getting married, Sister Zhao realized that her original feelings were really not an illusion. After realizing it, Sister Zhao discovered that:
- As long as the couple had a conflict, the mother-in-law would provoke and instigate behind the scenes, which intensified the war;
- When giving birth to a child by herself, the husband felt very distressed when he saw that Sister Zhao was in great pain, and the mother-in-law said which woman would not give birth to a child;
- The mother-in-law and her mother-in-law took turns to take care of the child. When the mother-in-law took care of the child, Sister Zhao went out to work, and the mother-in-law would half-jokingly and half-seriously tell the child that the mother is gone, she doesn't want you anymore...
days passed like this. Although the mother-in-law didn't like Sister Zhao and always liked to find fault, Fortunately, Sister Zhao's husband protected her and persuaded her mother-in-law.
Later, my mother-in-law saw that Sister Zhao was a good player in living a life with a sincere heart, and her heart was also focused on this family, and her attitude gradually changed. Although
is not as tense as when we were together before, it is not going well. Perhaps it was because of the fact that my mother-in-law had enough time to fully expose her nosy nature.
The young couple always had to interject a few words to protect their son when they fought. When Sister Zhao bought new clothes and shoes, she had to recite for a while; Sister Zhao later changed her job and needed to go on a business trip, and her mother-in-law also had to take care of her job, saying that she didn't care about her family, so she should find a new job...
Sister Zhao was dissatisfied, but because of her relationship with her husband, she still persisted. Later, my mother-in-law, who had always been healthy, suddenly became sick and could not take care of herself in bed.
The mother-in-law has a son and a daughter. The daughter has married in another province, and only her son is by her side. Sister Zhao's husband has to work and take care of his mother. Besides, there is a difference between men and women, and it is not convenient to take care of his mother even if he has some things.
So, he started Sister Zhao’s idea. But when Sister Zhao had a conflict with her mother-in-law before, she had already made it clear to her husband that she would not want to interfere with her mother-in-law's affairs in the future, and she would not stop her husband from taking care of her.
But now seeing that Sister Zhao’s husband is exhausted every day because her mother-in-law is in bed, Sister Zhao feels very distressed. She hesitated, not knowing what she was right to do.
There are many contradictions in the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As a daughter-in-law, should we take care of our mother-in-law by abandoning our past grudges when we need her?
In fact, the fundamental solution is to minimize contradictions. As a mother-in-law with high emotional intelligence said, if you do not care about the three things, there will naturally be no conflicts between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The three things this mother-in-law said are:
- first , don’t care about the daughter-in-law’s private affairs, give the greatest respect and freedom;
- second , don’t “protect the child” or “tighten the squad”, let the young couple solve the conflicts themselves;
- third , don’t interfere with the daughter-in-law’s education, you can help with the child’s problems, but don’t let yourself become the main force.
After all, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law requires mutual respect, each has room to leave, and think more from the perspective of others when encountering problems.
Even if there are problems that cannot be solved, don’t speak impulsively. You can seek help from the middleman, the man who is the husband and son.
After all, these two women walked together because they loved him. If there was a problem, he should be the first person in charge.
Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not enemies, but comrades on the same front. The mother-in-law must understand that husband and wife are one, and the husband can be better if the wife is good;
The daughter-in-law must understand that mother-in-law is the one who gave birth to a husband. You must give her care and respect, so that the relationship between husband and wife can become more and more harmonious.
When getting along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, kindness and emotional intelligence are both important and indispensable.
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[Written|Weiwei'an: The pen has warmth and speaks for emotion. An atypical writer who loves words invites you to perceive life together]
