01
Fen sent me for help, I was immersed in my own world, typing on a sharing manuscript. She said, Sister Jingshui, I sent me a request for help in your tree hole, looking forward to you replying to me as soon as possible, I can't hold on anymore.
I quickly turned on the computer and searched in my email. A line of eye-catching text: betrayal and unemployed, I can't hold on!
After reading it, I sighed a long time.
In order to get a son, parents fostered Fen, who was over one year old, at their grandmother's house in the countryside. When she grew up, she was particularly eager to meet a partner who knew her cold and hot.
Her husband and she are college classmates, and each other is also a child who lacks love. The two of them appreciate each other and love each other. They once thought that the most beautiful thing about love was the princess who was waiting for her in the dormitory every day.
But after really getting married, I realized that two people who are lacking each other are involved in living their lives, especially after the child is born, there is no peace.
After her husband had a mental affair, she became suspicious. The child was influenced by her and became timid and afraid of things. She often cried in school. Her husband refused to accept his fate. She started a business and suffered repeated defeats. She fought repeatedly and suffered repeated defeats. As the epidemic continued to be damaged, Fen felt even more insecure after the only house was mortgaged.
I read it and reply to her.
In addition to finding ways to make money, you have to solve your relationship with yourself and you have a more urgent need. She said I can’t afford the consultation fee. I said I’ll give you some psychology courses first. You can learn it first. This is the most practical help I can give you. Although Fen's situation is bad, you will find that in daily life, many sisters have no problems with their big framework of life, but they are still so anxious that they can't stop.
02
Obviously I have a lot, but I always feel anxious, always upset about the past, and fear the future. Every day, I do things like a top, and I can’t stop at all. Maybe you are like me in the past, suffering from severe anxiety disorder.
In a limited time, they always want to do more things, and always want to do things to the extreme. They do not accept any negative comments, which leads to their hearts being overwhelmed.
Sometimes I feel sorry for being bad, I want to live a bad marriage, and I can’t live apart. In addition, the hot relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law and crazy parent-child conflicts, I feel very disappointed.
The efforts in the workplace seem to be rewarded, there is no way to get promotion, and interpersonal relationships are tortured, and they have not earned money and are feeling frustrated.
Looking back at the past few decades, when reviewing, it seems to be unremarkable. Looking at the people around me who are about the same starting point as me, the nine-cluster grid of happiness is so happy that they are bubbled. It seems that they are better than me in every aspect. It is a loss to think about that kind of gap.
lie flat and sway it so hard, so I tore insomnia and anxiety. The confusion above
is a portrayal of Jingshui 5 years ago. He was tortured by severe anxiety disorder for several years, was hurt by hot family relationships for many years, was cold and violent in the workplace, could not make money, and had no choice, but he was unwilling to give up.
This is not the life I want, I once fell into the logic of "why why" that I can't come out.
03
5 years ago, a life disaster broke through my life, and I quit naked. The reality is that no one looks at the child, and the deeper reason is that I want to live a life I want.
Someone asked me, aren’t you afraid? Fear, but when your willingness is strong enough to a certain extent and exceeds the obstacles of reality, it is the time to make a decision.
After I got home, I started the days when I was writing while taking care of my child and learning psychology .
I was surprised to find that every time I learn a point of view and a new cognition, I can be happy all day long. I share what I have learned, continue to write, and constantly be seen by the outside world. That sense of value gives me a lot of confidence and strength.
Later, I followed a psychological and emotional institution in Beijing for consultation, starting from the most basic nursing staff, and persevering until now, I found that while helping others, the biggest beneficiary is myself.
I have a new interpretation of anxiety, have a different understanding of the negative emotions I come into contact with, and even have a little more understanding and support for my mother-in-law, and have a lot more acceptance and understanding of my straight husband.
The whole person's previous state was so anxious that he couldn't stop. He stepped on the brake and the accelerator. He really had a lot of troops in his heart, but the surface was still motionless. He shouted every day to change, but it seemed that he had not grown every year. It was not that he didn't want to change, but he couldn't find the exit.
The panic after quitting naked after returning home, I feel chill when I recall it now. There is a strong voice in my heart. I don’t want my palms to be upward, I can’t.
I started to write without listening. Sometimes I couldn’t understand it, so I started reading psychology books. Later, influenced by the psychological institution I accompanied me, I started to learn psychology systematically and started buying systematic courses to listen.
04
Gradually, I felt that I was not that anxious anymore, and it seemed that my luck was getting better. Good things happened one after another. After five years of systematic learning and writing, I felt my life, like driving, from the muddy country road, onto the cement road, and finally seemed to be on the highway, and the speed slowly got up.
htmlWhat have I gained from studying psychology for 15 years?
1. I live more and more solidly, and I am becoming more and more blooming. I am no longer the snail curled up in the shell and cried in the past.
2, I began to focus on doing things. I used to do A and B, and even C, so I didn’t do anything well.
3. My interpersonal relationships are getting better and better, and my views on things are becoming more and more transparent, which greatly reduces my internal friction.
4, as more and more people I can help, the sense of value from the depths of life becomes stronger and stronger, and the money I make is also becoming more and more.
5. The relationship between husband and wife is getting better and better, and the parent-child relationship is getting better and better. The consumption of poverty and humble couples in poverty is reduced. The main reason is that your potential energy is higher, and you will have a greater impact on the other party.
Most of my fans are people with stories. Behind the seemingly glamorous, there are unbearable pasts, and there are even many people who are still wandering around in the mud pit.
If you have a life point, I strongly recommend everyone to study psychology, there are no limits on learning formats, reading, listening to lectures, learning from people with energy and professionals, etc.
05
Psychology is the science closest to happiness. Maybe you can't make a lot of money for a while, but you can understand yourself and then eliminate a lot of unnecessary internal friction. You will find that life is actually very simple.
It is already a luxury if someone loves, has something to do, and has expectations.
Whether the house is big or not, it doesn’t matter whether the car is luxurious or not.
After all, people live in a mentality.
Life is a train. As long as we maintain a hard and diligent attitude, we can always meet the fragrance of flowers, the singing of birds, and the calmness and calmness of our own on the way.
Just like you, whether you come or not, I am silently writing here, doing what I like, and being with the people I like.
If you also want to learn psychology, welcome to link Jingshui Sister, let’s witness the scenery of life together.
END
Author: Jingshui, bestseller author, psychological counselor, family education instructor, quit naked at the age of 38, writes the warmth and coldness of the world with one pen, accompanying you to be lonely and brave, has published the emotional inspirational bestseller "Traveling the pain of dependence, and then moving towards the beauty of independence", "Only women with confidence can live a high-level life."
