French writer Beauvoir said in " Second Sex ": " Women are not born, but are shaped. "
In life, when women are constantly crushed by workplace, family and social pressure in reality, if they want to realize their own value and personal growth, they need to pay more.
However, the book "The Story of the Maid" makes us understand that even if we live in the gutter, we still have the right to look up at the stars; even if we are at the bottom of society, we can still gain the power to bottom out and rebound.
01/ The courage to face suffering
On the road of life, we always encounter all kinds of difficulties. Should we face it bravely or fear and retreat, the right to choose is always in our own hands.
At the beginning of the book, the heroine Stephanie took the initiative to end the relationship between the two because she could not tolerate her fiancé's domestic violence and brought her daughter Mia out.
She defected to her father, but was tactfully kicked out of the house; she asked for help from her mother, but she could not get a response; she tried to make a new boyfriend, but was eventually forced to move out.
has no support, no house or deposit, she can only take Mia to live in the shelter, relying on government subsidies and cleaning others for survival, and the living conditions can be imagined.
The pressure of life is coming.
She knew that it would be hard to live with Mia alone, but she believed that suffering was only temporary and everything would be fine.
In order to make money to support herself and Mia, Stephanie had to send Mia to a daycare house. Every time, Mia cried heartbrokenly, and with the lack of material conditions and the poor living conditions, Stephanie often felt guilty when facing Mia.
As a mother, Stephanie hopes to give Mia more care and care, but the dilemma and inability to do so in life made her unable to give Mia everything she wanted.
But for a mother, her daughter is her weakness and also her armor.
When Stephanie learned from a psychotherapist that a stable living environment can cultivate a child’s emotional intelligence and strong personality, she began to act strictly on the schedule and live in a foreseeable pattern.
Every night, no matter how tired Stephanie is, she will force herself to cheer up and start a series of "fixed actions" with Mia:
After taking a shower, tell Mia the bedtime story; kiss her before going to bed, and say good night to each other.
On the weekend, no matter how limited the conditions are, Stephanie will accompany Mia to the nearby park to experience the beauty of nature together.
On every important festival, she will carefully prepare a gift for Mia and use her camera to record the moments of her daughter's growth.
The sense of ritual in life has gradually made Mia familiar with the family’s schedule, and also made her feel the warmth and belonging of home as a young woman.
Yu Minhong said: "If the family is a copy machine and the parents are the original, then the children are the copy."
Stephanie's optimism and tenacity in facing suffering have influenced Mia in a subtle way.
Life is trivial and difficult, but they have fun in hardships, face it calmly, and finally overcome the suffering and usher in their own wonderful life.
Vertai said:
" Life is full of thorns, the only way we think of is to cross the thorns. "
Things are impermanent, blindly escaping can only let ourselves in the quagmire of life, a vicious cycle. Only by facing it bravely can you grow rapidly in suffering and find a way forward in adversity.
Life is like a game of fighting monsters and upgrading. Only those who move forward bravely have the chance to become the final winner and can turn life into what they like.
Only those who face suffering will go further in life.
02/ The ability to live independently
"One room, two people, three meals and four seasons" happy life is indeed enviable, but after experiencing failed relationships, I found that a person's life can also be gentle in the years and amazing in the time.
Stephanie has experienced two relationships.
In the previous relationship, Stephanie chose to take the initiative to leave due to domestic violence on the other side. Afterwards, in order to find a support for herself and her daughter, she started a second relationship with a new man she met.
However, this relationship did not bring her the life she wanted. After living together for a while, Stephanie was ruthlessly driven out again when she was unable to provide her with enough labor value.
These two relationships left Stephanie with painful memories, but also inner awakening.
Stephanie finally understood that instead of treating others as a safe haven, she would be able to shelter from the wind and rain.
But she has no education and no work experience, so she can only start from the bottom-level full-time cleaning lady.
. In order to reduce costs and reduce the consumption of cleaning supplies. Under long-term high-intensity workload, Stephanie's right hand nerves were damaged so that she couldn't even hold the sponge and brush tightly.
Every time, in order to clean the bathroom, she had to clench her right hand into a fist, place the sponge between her hand and the wall, and press it down desperately with her knuckles. When she returned home from work for 6 hours a day, her hands were so painful that she couldn't even hold the bowl.
Fortunately, all efforts are rewarded.
In the end, Stephanie not only became the company's "top cleaner" with her down-to-earth and hard work, but was also rated by customers as "the most diligent worker".
Excellent work ability and money-making ability have become the "safety net" that Stephanie has built for herself.
Carnegie said: " The economically independent women have the ability to create happiness. They do not need to please or rely on men. "
The awakening of independent consciousness has made Stephanie no longer regard marriage as a must-have option in life.
She no longer expects a man to save her from the dilemma of life, no longer begging for everything in dependence, no longer humbly pleases anyone, but finds her own way in courage and confidence.
In the end, Stephanie lived as her backer with her hard work and perseverance.
Yang Lan said:
"The greatest charm of a woman is to have her own financial independence, not relying on her parents, not relying on men, and fighting for what she wants."
As a woman, don't regard marriage as the whole of life, and don't place the happiness of life on others.
No matter when, only when a person has the ability to make money and the ability to live independently can he have the confidence to resist setbacks and suffering.
03/ The courage to persevere in dreams
There is a line in the movie "Chinese Partner ":
"What is dream? Dreams are something that makes you feel that persistence is happiness!"
The process of realizing your dreams is full of hardships, but as long as you chase them with your heart, you will definitely find the candy hidden in life.
Stephanie has loved reading and writing stories since she was a child. Her dream is to go to the University of Montana in Missoula to take creative writing class and become a writer.
However, this dream came to an abrupt end because of her unexpected pregnancy.
After experiencing emotional failures and life hardships, Stephanie knew that there was a better and richer world outside, and she wanted to live in that world.
Going to college is her only hope to change her current life situation and lead to her dream world.
Stephanie's dream was ignited again and she embarked on a difficult journey to pursue her degree.
Before the turbid waves of the world, even though Stephanie could not get rid of the quagmire in life for the time being, she also burst out with amazing perseverance and endurance as if she had regained her life.
In order to have more time to study, Stephanie had to reduce her working hours, which also caused her income to drop sharply. When there was insufficient food, she could only rely on drinking coffee to satisfy her hunger. In order to reduce her living expenses, she had to go to Amazon website to buy old second-hand books and complete the core courses in the most cost-effective way possible.
Because of the limited study time during the day, Stephanie could only wait for Mia to stay up late to study hard after she went to bed.
Although there is no support from friends and family, she firmly believes that being a humble maid is just her short life, and receiving education will bring her a free and dignified life.
She is like a lone hero, fighting and struggling with poverty on the way to reach her dream. Every night, she fell asleep alone with tears in her eyes. The only comfort was her persistent belief in her heart, and she knew that she would never stop there.
Once you do your best, everything will come naturally.
Three years later, Stephanie successfully received the "Sunshine Women" scholarship, and she took Mia to move to Missoula before the fall school starts. In less than two years, she will obtain the bachelor's degree certificate in creative writing in Montana School.
Stephanie finally completed the transformation of her life and pressed the switch to realize her dreams in life.
Fate gave Stephanie a lower starting point than others, but she overcomes all obstacles in the abyss and interprets a story of a Jedi counterattack with her actions, holding the steering wheel of fate firmly in her own hands.
Brazilian writer Paul Goerro wrote in " Shepherd's Fantasy Journey ":
"No heart will be hurt by pursuing dreams. When you really long for something, the whole universe will come to help."
Dreams will not come true overnight, and we don't have to expect fate to be suddenly reversed at a certain moment. Those energy that changes our lives come from every ordinary day.
Once a person has a dream, his life will have an anchored goal. As long as he takes the first step bravely, he will not be afraid of the high mountains and the long roads, nor will he be afraid of the desolation of time.
Zhang Xiaoxian said:
" What really changes our destiny is not our opportunity, but our attitude. "
Born as human beings, we will inevitably encounter a difficult time.
Don’t be discouraged or complain. Behind everyone’s seemingly glamorousness, there must be a period of lonely years that no one cares about.
Don’t be discouraged in adversity, don’t sink in confusion, sharpen your will in pain, and become stronger and grow in silence.
As long as you are still working hard, the world will definitely surprise you.
Author profile: Mingyuexin, meet a better self in the text.
