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1Tolstoy " Anna Karenina ": " people live for hope, because with hope, people have the courage to live. "
One day you will find that others cannot give you hope, and the only person who can give you hope is you. This statement seems inaccurate, but in fact this is the truth of life.
We have all relied on others and placed hopes on others, but we don’t know that when you put your hopes on others, you are already controlled by others, and your joys and sorrows are largely controlled by others’ attitudes.
The hope given by others is like the colorful soap bubbles . Although it is very dreamy, its lifespan is very short and easy to break. When hope is broken, it is when you are disappointed or even despaired .
This problem does not only exist in love, but also in places where there are people. Sometimes it’s your family that disappoints you, sometimes it’s your friends that disappoint you, and sometimes it’s your lover that disappoints you… The reason for all this comes from the fact that you build your hope on others.
There is a reader named Weiwei who mentioned this issue when leaving a message in the background. She had a sentence that impressed me deeply: When I was 730 years old, I accidentally learned to "get rid of my leave" .
2I have heard many people mention "death and leave", including friends who write and friends in daily life. They seemed to be very free and easy when they spoke, but as time went by, I found that they were unable to leave.
Some author friends only care about making chicken soup according to routines, but they can save others but cannot save themselves. When life goes well, they think that their words are the truth, but when life goes bad, they are the people who will not let go, because they know where the road is, but they don’t know how to go.
Friends in life, when they advise others to leave. As a result, when the same problem occurs to them, they cannot do it.
I was in a bad mood that day and chatted with Vivi all the time. She smiled and said, " Should I be glad that I didn't talk about Duan Sheli before? If it were what you said, I probably wouldn't be able to Duan Sheli later. "
I suddenly didn't know how to answer her words, because the words I said were just my observation of life and it may not be useful to put them on others. Maybe my thinking is too narrow and my knowledge is too shallow, so I feel that feeling!
Vivi told me not to hurt myself: " always feels that you have a lot of worries. I'm just kidding. You just take it seriously. It can be seen that you care too much about your image in the eyes of others. "
I want to deny it, but I didn't say it because she was telling the truth.
3She said that she once cared about her image in the eyes of others, wanted to be a good girl in the eyes of her parents, a good wife to her husband, and a good daughter-in-law to her mother-in-law. However, all these extravagant hopes were ruined by the four words "blaming others too much".
The money she saved with frugality was envious and wanted her to take it out to help her brother get married. She refused, and then she erected an ice wall with her parents.
Later, the in-laws gave the bride gift, and the parents had a new statement: "You can keep your money without spending, but the money given by the in-laws must be kept in your parents' home. After all, your brother is not married yet, so there are more places to spend money at home."
She refused again, and since then she was on the blacklist of her parents' home, and it is difficult to return to her home.
We always naively think that after falling into trouble, we will win the sympathy of fate and the road will be smooth. But the fact is often that suffering is often in groups. You think you are already miserable, but you don’t know that there will be even more miserable times in .
Her mother-in-law learned that she had a deposit and the bride price was left in her hands, so she had an evil thought: "Give your 300,000 pre-marital property and buy a house for me to support her!"
The mother-in-law might think that this was a bit abrupt, so she hurriedly added: "You are a little girl, it is not safe to keep so much money in your hands, but it is different if you buy a house. The house will always be there, and you won't run away!"
The house will not run away, but after her money escapes from her pocket, it will no longer belong to her.
As she said: " money is in my own hands, I can freely control it, and no need for others to agree; but if the money is spent, I fulfill my mother-in-law's dream. Will she fulfill my dream when I need to spend money? Judging from my past experience, she will definitely not be as good as I am to her. "
4What she didn't expect was that her husband actually made trouble, saying that it was not safe for her to keep so much money in her hands, and that it was not safe for her to do it in her words and wanted her to do it according to her mother-in-law's requirements.
She only thought about it for one night and decided to divorce. She said that even if she thought about it for a hundred days, the result would still be the same. As long as she stayed in her in-laws' house, she would definitely be calculated for .
When she was not married, she wanted to get rid of her parents' calculations; after getting married, she wanted to get rid of her husband's calculations; after getting divorced, she began to worry about her parents' calculations.
She said that she was like a person who had many enemies, being chased everywhere and not getting peace for a moment.
She originally wanted to go to join her friends, but she didn't take this path in the end: " There are problems with my love and family affection, and I can't let my friendship have problems anymore. I'd better live it myself! When I'm fine, I'll play with my friends. Keeping this distance is enough! "
This is what she calls "despair". She accepts the fact that she is homeless, does not blame others, quietly rents a small house, raises a cat, and finds a job that can cope with daily expenses. She is busy with work during the day and goes home at night to have fun with the cat and watch TV shows. It feels good.
5Many people envy Vivi's life, and I am no exception. Many people can easily live a life like her, but there are always many things that cannot be given up, or they are unwilling to give up.
can only be said that life is not just black and white, but also many colors between the two. Everyone’s life has a unique color. The most important thing is not whether it looks good or not, but whether it is satisfied with .
If others have had the experience of Vivi, I believe they will leave like her. However, each of us has different experiences. Different experiences will create different lives. What we pursue should not be a specific life, but a life that allows us to live willingly.
What is right? What is wrong? Sometimes it is difficult to define, and sometimes there is no need to define it. We just need to know that as long as we live a life that makes us have a clear conscience based on our situation, we are the life that is most worthy of ourselves.
Life is like an exam. We don’t have to ask for full marks, just don’t make too many mistakes.
