-01-
Let me first talk about a case.
A girl had a boyfriend when she was a student.
But one of them is from the south and the other is from the north, and they are all only children. Both parents want to keep their children by their side and do not want their children to go to each other's city. So after a few hardships, the two broke up in tears in the end.
The girl said sadly: "Actually, I am willing to go to his city, but when I reminded him to convince my family, he never took it seriously. And I could feel that his mother actually didn't like me. Although he didn't say anything, he actually compromised in his heart, so I took the initiative to break up."
In the next few years, the girl seemed to be suffering from love sorrow and closed herself up. Until the girl reached the age to talk about marriage, she never met the right person.
Later, at the urging of her parents, her aunt introduced her to a son from a colleague's family. The two families are of equal status and their work and education are also comparable. Although the girl is unwilling to go on a blind date, she does not want to go against her family, so she still bit her teeth.
The boys are cheerful and talkative, which just makes up for the little talk of the girl. The two tried to date for a while and found that they both like to listen to the songs of the same band, watch a type of movie, and like to climb mountains and watch the sea...
The most important thing is that they can talk to each other and talk in their hearts. Under his guidance, the girl gradually opened her once closed heart.
Half a year later, they began to plan to enter the palace of marriage.
But at this moment, the girl's ex-boyfriend appeared again. It turned out that he had also had two relationships over the past few years, but in the end he still felt that the girl was the woman he wanted most. He told the girl that he had convinced his mother and was preparing to come to the girl's city to find her.
The ex-boyfriend's words made the girl in conflict. Perhaps, she was eager to hear this sentence a few years ago. However, when she thought about it, she couldn't bear to part with her current boyfriend. This boy seemed to be the most suitable person God gave her, making her feel safe and sound.
She thought about it over and over again, but didn't know how to choose.
The girl asked: Who am I going to choose?
Some people may say that being with your ex-boyfriend should have achieved success after several twists and turns. You should know how to cherish it even more after being together!
Maybe some people say that they must be their current boyfriend. The two of them are so suitable and can chat with each other. It is a perfect match.
-02-
Two people can develop into lovers, they must be able to live a real life together.
Many people think that marriage should be a natural combination, and love to a certain extent, so the two of them are happy and romance, just like a fairy tale, and the "prince" finally married the "princess" he loved home.
But real life is often that food, food, food, oil and salt cannot nourish "love", but intoxicates past emotions.
Everyone yearns for the eternity of "holding your hand and growing old with you", but in fact, this situation can only be proved by time. After all, there will be too many uncertainties in life. Over the years, many things will eventually be unrecognizable.
Someone once studied that the passion and stickiness of love actually exists in the human brain for a short time, at most 22 months.
So, love is no longer "love", but can live a real life together. In other words, the two people are the "most suitable people" between each other.
Once loved deeply, it is hard to part with you now, but once you are not suitable for each other and cannot get "comrade-in-arms-like emotions", it is most likely that it will be difficult to reach the end of time.
Fate, opportunity, fate, love "has a fate". How to unfold the story afterwards is not the beauty of the past meeting, but only the final word for "two people can live a real life".
If two people who enter marriage have different quality, different personalities, different values, and different outlook on life, then even if they want to be "peaceful" everywhere, it will be difficult for them to seek common ground while reserving differences in the trivialities of life.
Therefore, it is hard to say whether a "lover" who only relies on love and when they combine together, it is difficult to say whether it will be "torture" or "stability".
-03-
The more suitable it is for lovers, the more you will fall in love with each other deeper in the passage of time
Qian Zhongshu once said: Marriage is like shoes worn on your feet, only the toes know whether it is comfortable or not.
Some shoes look unfashionable and not good-looking on the outside, but they may make you feel comfortable walking and walk as fast as you walk;
Some shoes look very nice and match your temperament, but they may not heal at all after wearing it, or grind your heels with blood blisters.
Therefore, marriage between men and women is never enough to just like it, but there must be a necessary condition: "suitable".
Two suitable people may be together for a while, but the more they are together, the more they can stand the test of time and block the bumps of wind and rain.
Because, you are not together by feeling, but in the ravages of life, after love becomes the mud and sand under your feet, you become the most suitable people for each other.
, the following three aspects are "suitable", which will make you understand why the right two people will be a good partner.
First, easy to communicate, trust each other
In fact, in the world of love, the deeper people who love each other, the more suspicious they will be.
Because once a person falls into the state of deep love, he will be afraid of losing and afraid that the other party will leave him. So when the other party has some clues, he will be suspicious, become very sensitive and tormented.
love, if you are out of trust and have no communication, then most of it will easily reach the end.
And two "suitable" people will not have this problem.
Because they dare to believe each other, dare to speak out, and dare to reveal their inner worries and worries after they have suspicion.
They complement each other's personalities, can trust each other, communicate more, they have the same interests, know how to cherish and care for each other.
After all, love comes to the end, it is actually to find someone who "can chat and talk".
is like in the case we mentioned in the beginning, the girl mentioned and her ex-boyfriend had almost no substantial communication before they broke up. The boy was hesitating, the girl was suspicious, and neither of them told the truth in their hearts. Even if you live together in the future, it will be difficult to communicate effectively in a dull life, and it is difficult to understand and trust each other.
2nd, family support, mutual acceptance of
What is the basis for those who have loved?
Blessings from parents and relatives can be proved.
In ancient times, there were many etiquettes for marriage, and three media and six jobs were not missing.Worship the heaven and earth to show that they are made by heaven; worship parents and thank their parents for their kindness, the two seek their parents' consent together and have been recognized by their families; husband and wife worship each other, from then on, they must be loving, respect each other, and accept each other.
and other things seem to be very cumbersome, but in fact, each one has many realistic meanings.
Two people meet, and it is destined by fate. and the last time they can walk together is that in the eyes of parents and relatives, you are very "suitable".
A love that neither parents are optimistic about, even if they are loving, they will probably not be able to resist the helplessness of reality.
As we mentioned at the beginning, the girl and her ex-boyfriend have different outlooks on their life. Even if the boy convinces his mother, he probably will be in trouble after they reconcile, as long as there is a little friction, the man will fall into trouble. He has neither the ability to handle the relationship between the girl and his mother, nor the ability to gain the trust of the girl's parents.
And the girl is with her current boyfriend, and they are in the same condition, accept each other, and the parents of both sides recognize it, which is simply the most suitable couple. Two people like
Most of the time they live together will last, and the deeper they will love each other.
3 Third, the concept is consistent, and the mutual understanding is tacitly
In fact, two people can be together for a long time. They must know each other very well, and know each other's strengths and weaknesses, but they can still accept and tolerate them.
This way, only when problems are encountered can be resolved through negotiation.
People must be sober in their emotions: The basis of marriage is love, but not "impulsive love". It’s like the popular things are temporary. Only the one who is like-minded and like-minded is the one who can live in harmony with you for a long time in a plain life.
So, after talking about this, let’s take a look at the girl’s hesitation in our case.
If she firmly believes that she can resolve a series of conflicts with her ex-boyfriend in the future, get the blessings of her family, and communicate with each other without any barriers, perhaps they can also have the possibility of being together for a long time;
However, it can also be seen that there has been a person around her who can understand, appreciate, accept each other, and accept each other, and the family recognizes it. The girl is by his side and can be the most comfortable and comfortable person.
So, how she wants to choose is obvious.
Author, calm fox
picture, online
May you find the deep affection in my words in the ordinary years! Thanks for your attention!
